Birthday Blessing

Birthday Blessings, Babe!  Thanks for being so generous with your special day and all the festivities that come with having a ten-year-old tomorrow.  Your birthday is always special because it's the day I went into labor with our first born.  Remember that early morning phone call? I love doing life with you.  I hope your year is blessed and bountiful.  Happy birthday--I feel so lucky to celebrate with you healthy and whole this birthday.  I will always. . .

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus--"

 1 Thessalonians 5:18

December 6, 2012

Six days into the month of December and I've got nothing, except a very full plate.  It seems my health is on the mend--I'm finally feeling better but then a tooth decided to abscess.  It will get taken care of tomorrow. . .sigh.  A week ago tomorrow, I got a call that my right hand woman during Ernie's ordeal had broken her shoulder.  It is painful and my mom is not used to not being on the go.  Should make for an interesting six to eight weeks. My poor mom: (

In better news: Ernie got the thumbs up to drive.  My chauffeuring days are over (thank God).  I'm going to let him get right back in the hang of things by letting him drive to Janessa's appointment with her orthopedist tomorrow at UCLA.  Another long car drive, I'm sure she is going to love it.  I kid. . .Also, Ernie will start some occupational therapy next week closer to home!!  He also was fitted for some compression gloves--these he will need to wear for six months to a year to help with the graphs staying smooth. . .He is looking so good he may be able to return to light duty in the next two weeks or so. . .God is GOOD!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas over here.  The decorations are minimal , but it feels good to be so centered on Christ's birth and joyfully giving versus trying to make everything look so perfect.  Because let's face it:  no matter how hard I try, perfect doesn't exist.  I'm at this point where my life is a perfect, beautiful disaster.  And I'm thanking God for it.  All of it. Seriously.  My heart still overflows with gratitude because He knows what I can handle and He is good to dole it out a little at a time so I don't become completely and totally unglued.  I may have had a moment where I cried to my mom, but it was just a moment and the day wore on in all its glory.  A meal was delivered for dinner every night this week, and my dad made one of the drives to LA where I got to be a passenger, and people helped out in getting my kids since my mom can't. . .and I may have conversed with a couple friends from my internet bible study world who showed their realness and  lent an ear or a dish, or a prayer. . . blessing, upon blessing, upon blessing, I tell you!

And as the Christmas season approaches, I just want to be still and feel His presence in my life.  I want to hear Him speak words of life and love so I can then utter them to others.  I want to do--because that is what love does.  Tis the season to put it in action.  Love.  

We've written to Santa, decorated envelopes to pass out to the needy, colored nativity scenes to deliver to homes that display them in their front yards, strung lights in a certain boy's bedroom because he was disappointed daddy couldn't get outside to hang them this year. We're reading and discussing our Advent devotional from Dayspring and counting down the days until Christmas with a fun little activity and random acts of kindness.  We made Christmas bark with friends, our nativity set gets played with and moved about daily, and our advent wreath is lit after dinner each night to reflect and enjoy.

And it's only December 6th.  Most importantly, we are together.  We may have had a rough November. . .a couple bumps in the road, but we will always remember the miracles that transformed us during this season of waiting for the celebration of His birth.  We are blessed. 

November 29, 2012

It finally happened. . .with all the stress of the last week, my body succumbed to either a cold or a sinus infection.  The last two days have had me with droopy, achy eyes, a runny nose,  a dry cough, and an achy body. . .but this pales in comparison to what we could have been dealing with due to Ernie's accident.

He is home now, and we ventured to Los Angeles yet again to have his bandages removed.  The skin grafts took and now we just hydrate with vitamin E, and keep clipping off the skin as it lifts.  He still can't drive or lift heavy objects or apply too much pressure to his hands, but he is definitely on the mend! Praise be to God!

I was struck with a thought about community as we drove home from the hospital today.  As much as I am trying to become more a part of our church community, the truth of the matter is: our church is big--so big in fact that not many people probably know about Ernie's accident nor his injuries.  Probably none know how exhausting the daily commute was.  Nor do they know how my kids were bounced from grandparents to friends as I trekked out to see my husband on a daily basis.  To be fair, I didn't call anybody at our church.  I mean, really, I don't even know who you would call--I show up to teach my class on Wednesday nights and church on Sunday morning--there's not a whole lot of "community building" in between.  Do I fault my church?  Do I fault myself?  Shoulder shrug.  I simply don't know.

Then there is our school community.  The places where two of our children go to school, a community we have belonged to now for five years.  It has been a community in the making as well. Contributing to this community didn't come naturally to me--but luckily a year ago, the PTA president asked for my help with something and I accepted which led to other opportunities to help and serve.  Since then, both Ernie and I have joined the school's technology committee to help ensure our kids have access to what other schools in the district have.  It has been a blessing to get to know the parents of the children who attend school with our children.

Fast forward to the accident. . .when I finally had my wits about me to write and share the miracle we had experienced, one mom took that as an opportunity to organize and bless us with nightly meals.  These women and men who have stepped up to bless us have been lifesavers.  After the second night of meals the seven year old said, "Mom, why are they bringing us food?  YOUR hands aren't hurt."  Astute observation, too true.  But someone understood the daily commute, the stress, the disorder that felt like our life and did something about it.  We are all extremely grateful for that.

What it has done for me specifically, is open my eyes to the fact that my "community" is wherever Jesus is in action. Any time we have the opportunity to serve and shine Jesus' light, even if it seems insignificant.  Do it.  Purpose to lend a hand when you can.  A trip to the grocery store, walking a kid to school, a meal, babysitting, making a cake, stopping by, it doesn't matter what you do. JUST DO SOMETHING.

The only way to build community is by loving in action.  Love like Jesus did.  Serve like Jesus did.  Pray like Jesus did. . .and do it all in gratitude for the blessings he has bestowed in your own life.  Be His hands and feet.  Do something.  Anything.  Serve.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.  Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit.  serve the Lord."--Romans 12:10-11

November 25, 2012

I will give to the LORD the thanks due to His righteousness. ~Psalm 7:17 

I will give thanks to your name, O LORD, for it is good. ~Psalm 54:6 

I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify Your name forever. ~Psalm 86:12 

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good, for His steadfast love endures forever! ~Psalm 107:1

I give You thanks, O LORD, with my whole heart; ~Psalm 138:1

With Thanksgiving behind us, I can't help but relish in its meaning.  I feel stuck in a place of gratitude and I know there is a good reason for it!!  Through the course of this past week, I have not been able to grasp this miracle that is our God.  In the past two years, I have grown so much in my walk with Him and developed a relationship with Him that is deeply personal and our own, but now?  I feel like I just really know Him. Which just seems strange, as He has been there all along.  He carried me through my mom's bout with breast cancer, deaths, and births. . .but now?  It's like I feel his realness deep into my heart, my soul.

For the longest time, I've heard people give their testimonies and wondered what the heck mine was. I was born and raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, went on retreats, went to church sporadically, have always known my God is there for me.  So what is this testimony people stand up and talk about?  Why can't I place my finger on what mine is?

Testimony:  an open acknowledgment; b. a public profession of religious experience.

And today it hit me.  THIS is my testimony. Not the miracle of how my husband is still alive to love on longer. . .that is his.  Mine is that moment of peace as Janessa and I prayed on our way to the car.  The echoing in my head that, "  He is good, He is good, He is good. . ."  No matter what happens, He is good.  Although it sounds morbid to say aloud, morbid to write here in this familiar space, my brain went to that place what if he dies?  And in that moment I was filled with peace.   
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.--Philippians 4:7

THAT is my testimony.  And the more I share my experience aloud, the more I know this is it.  The more I am in awe of what  an awesome God He is.  The more I realize my walk with Him and the relationship we've developed was getting me ready for that moment.  That moment was my true awakening that He is all he says He is. And my heart continues to swell with gratitude. . .God has filled it so much, that there is no room for anything else. One day Ernie will return to work.  I am confident that God will continue to fill me up where there is no room for worry or anxiousness. He has this.  I know that now.  

Ernie's surgeries are over.  They had to do a skin graft with skin from his right thigh.  He said that was more painful than the burns to his hands.  He is still hospitalized until probably Tuesday--Janessa's third birthday: )  He is in good spirits.  He will talk to his employer tomorrow to recap what happened the day of the accident.  He was doing something he has done many times before, but he had taken off his gloves to pick up a tool which happened to be the conductor and the 7200 volts passed through him because electricity is always looking for the easiest place to ground.  Make sense?  Not really to me neither. . .One day, maybe he will share all the events leading up to that moment--His testimony, if you will.

Now we just work on getting his hands healed.  He can't work for at least a month, could be longer.  Time will tell. For now, I plan on looking at my one day a week work status as an extra blessing as we have time to spend together, doing things to prepare our hearts for Christmas, to revel in our miracle a little longer!

God is good.  All the time.