March 2, 2011

My Favorite Lineman

      A couple days without my husband home and I am a mess.  I miss him.  I miss getting up with him in the morning.  I miss kissing him good-bye.  I miss the phone call that he is on his way home...our dinners together--even his work clothes left on the side of the bed.  In his absence the past couple days, I am reminded of the months we were apart when he lived up North for work.  I learned so much about myself while he was away--that was a pivotal moment in my life where I was forced to really look in the mirror and take a hard, long, loving look at who I was.
       At that time, I would spend my week alone with two kids and speak to my husband via SKYPE or phone conversations.  I would constantly have to remind myself that no matter how hard this was for me. . .it was equally hard for him.  Every time I would think about all that I had to do on my own without him around, he would remind me of the moments he felt he was missing out on.  If I got irritated or annoyed about the clothes on the floor on his weekend home, I would put a damper on our time together.  I struggled.  I really did--I fought myself in those moments where my irritations would under normal circumstances get the best of me and I would be in attack mode; Now I had to quiet the monster.  I had to take a deep breath...hold it...and exhale all the negativity that wanted to creep into our lives.
       The good news?  I usually was able to quiet the beast.  I was able to shift gears and focus on our time together and make the best of it.  Somewhere along the five month trail, I became a better a wife.  My eyes were opened to how fortunate I was to have such a hands on husband...a man who made the long drive home on Friday nights and a day later would head back to the workplace--eight hours each way. I focused on quality, not quantity and I grew up a lot.
       I miss him.  I'm looking forward to him coming home--not so I can get away to have some "me" time, or so that he can help out with the kids, or help around the house.  I just want to see him.  Listen to him. Enjoy him. Love him.  That's it. I learned a lot our last go round with distances, can you tell?