March 8, 2011

So. . .She Speaks is coming and I have this curiosity about it which has led to a huge desire to go.  What is it, you ask?  It's a conference that speaks to women of all kinds: writers, bloggers, speakers, and womens ministry leaders. . .I am new to the blogging world, and am praying about my place in womens ministry yet I feel called to go. There really is something for everybody here--if you fall into one of the above categories.    

The thing about it is I've spent the last year and a half really trying to get away from the labels we have attached to followers of Christ.  I was born and raised Catholic, and I have wandered away for a little bit to explore some different faiths--but the thing is, I always want to go back to what I know:  Him.  But I've found that sometimes I just feel out of place.  At my home church I'm seeking a way to minister and feel more a part of the community. . .and yet, most of the blogs I frequent and speakers I've heard have a strong Christian background...and I so don't know bible verses off the tip of my tongue, and I read such great testimonies and I rack my brain thinking what is mine?  And then because I'm confused,  I start to question--aren't we are all followers of Christs, put here to do His will and live a life that inspires others to get to know Him?  I might not know much, but I am sure the answer to that question is yes.

Maybe that is why I feel compelled to go to She Speaks.  I want to bridge the gap that exists in my own life between my label and how I live. I want to figure out my place in this world on how to glorify God--be it through my blog or whatever it is I am able to do at church or in my community.  Did I mention that I've always wanted to write?  But I learned my first year of college, writing may not pay the bills--ugh!!  Me of little faith!   I want to continue to surround myself with Godly women who inspire me because we believe in the same God...there are just a few differences.  God is God and I want to know Him.  I started a Good Morning Girls group a year ago and I read my bible now.  I drove over two hours to hear a Focus on the Family podcast that Lysa Terkeurst was being interviewed and I went to a Sally Clark conference where I knew no one--NO ONE!!!  But I went because I felt led to both places.  He called me and I listened.  I've been trying to do that a lot more lately.

It feels like He has led me all over the place to give me a deeper understanding and appreciation for my home church--notice I don't attach the label.  He is showing me ways that I may be able to inspire, help, and love in ministries that my church hasn't even heard of yet.  I might be the one called to do something, anything...sometime in the future.  I'm still waiting for direction.  I believe She Speaks may be the assitance I need.  In the meantime, this scholarship opportunity presented itself in my inbox this morning and I knew it was His gift.  He is speaking so that I might have the opportunity to speak.  I'm not turning a deaf ear to that type of request.