God Moments: Past and Present Collide

Last night I was among 399 others to celebrate the retirement of a well loved University teacher.  She is iconic as her thirty-five year service to the University plus her own growing up around the university and all her family that attended there as well.  To me, she was more than a teacher.  Nearly eighteen years ago, I was among her top three candidates to recommend for a teaching position in the district I still work today. She  looked at me and saw potential and promise instead of the barely twenty-one year old that I was.  The problem was I was waiting on math scores for the CBEST.  As my luck would have it, I received the same score two times in a row, which was two points shy of the minimum needed.  That could only happen to me! This third test was going to make or break my ability to enter the teaching position midyear as a result of class size reduction.  This instructor pulled me aside and made me a weekly appointment for the next month.

With math as her minor, I thought the tutoring could be helpful. Little did I know that the next month was really an informal session in her office that involved building me up and getting me to face the math test, not fear it.  She reiterated I had the skill, but I simply had to believe in myself.  On a couple occasions we traded test taking strategies and she may have asked what types of problems I struggle with the most, but I don't remember.  What I remember most is the way she made me feel.  I went into my third test, not fearing my future but embracing the possibilities that existed when I passed this stupid section.  I did pass this time and I went on to teach.  It is there that my teaching life began, and it happened when it did because this professor got me to believe in myself and took time--time she probably didn't really have, but she did it any way.  I needed to be there to honor her for this.

I'm glad my cousin went with me because otherwise the sheer masses would have been intimidating; however, had the night turned out as it did, I would have even gone alone.  Seeing and hearing honor paid to a person who has invested so much of herself to an institution and countless people is incredibly humbling and inspiring at the same time.  While the words and sentiments and stories told were important and treasured, the night ended with a God moment.

I saw a name on the scholarship donors page that jarred a memory of my Masters in Counselling program nearly thirteen or fourteen years ago.  After listening to the impact stories shared about the honoree, I told my cousin I needed to find this other woman and send her a card because this memory specifically was life changing for me.  I have always attested, even if I never use my counselling degree, this single experience alone makes it all worth it!

As God would have it, as we made our way to the back door to express our congratulations (keep in mind 400 people) right beside me was a woman who looked vaguely familiar. As I leaned in to hear her speak, I knew this was the same woman I had just told my cousin about!  I put my arm on her shoulder and she looked at me.  Of course, she didn't recognize me at first, but I began "You probably don't remember me but many years ago when we had to tape ourselves and present them to the class. . .we put our video on and the first question out of Joyce's mouth was "How are you?" and I cried.  The video may have been playing but your eyes were on mine in the circle we sat and tears were dripping down my face already.  I will never forget the way you stopped the video and took my hand, pulling me up. . .where you sat me on your lap and just allowed me to cry. "  Her eyes were filled with tears as she listened to me recount my memory, as were mine because that memory was connected to such a life changing experience and led to the present life I am able to enjoy today.

"I need you to know that single act of compassion and kindness will always be remembered as long as I live. It was one of the most powerful events in my life," I finished.  She hugged me long and hard and whispered words I haven't heard in a really long time: "Every past pain is a part of you, but doesn't have to define you.  Everyone has a story.  You have to be willing to listen and wait for them to share it.  I didn't want to miss yours.  So much greater to be a part of it than to simply miss it because of our agenda."  

I was so  blessed to be able to share this sentiment with this woman who will forever hold a place in my heart.  To thank her, to be hugged by her, to be able to express what that moment meant to me. . .it could have only been orchestrated by our God.

If there is someone who means a lot to you, for whatever the reason: big or small.  Tell them!  She thanked me for the gift I gave her last night by reaching out and reminding her of our moment.  It was so much more powerful with passed years and perspective.  I am so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone and went last night (glad my cousin went with me).  God's plans are always so much greater than our own!!