Living and Leaving

I went to a funeral today for Ofie and got to thinking. . .as one usually does when they are paying their respects and listening to the eulogies and words from loved ones.  I was happy to hear that Ofie was blessed with four grandchildren.  And I thought of her fierce desire and enthusiasm for becoming a grandma.  She radiated joy with just the thought of what a grandchild would mean in her life.  She was so interested in my babies and what they were doing and saying.  I tell you, her daughter and son in law were planning a wedding and her mind was already on the grand babies.  And I couldn't help but wonder at God's glory for planting that desire into her heart early on so that when the babies came...she embraced every little second. I bet no time was wasted. She knew what a gift they were: the gifts she had been waiting for and so she became "amma," whole-heartedly and completely. And then she was gone too soon, but what little time she had with her grand kids, it sounds like she made it count.

The funeral came on the day after a long awaited family dinner.  I think the last time we may have all been together was early September.  It is now November.  Too long.  Too much time has passed.  Too much busy not enough rest.  Sundays at our house has become a day to go to church together and then rest, watch some tv, go for a walk, only do minimal cleaning. . .and eat a good dinner.  That has been on my to-do list for the last two months, and it's working.  It's a nice, calm way to end our weekend and reconnect before the new one throws any curve balls at us.  But I really wanted my kids to have some scheduled time with their grandparents and cousins.  I was happy to ask for once a month but to my delight we agreed to try twice a month!  That makes my heart full.

Sometimes, I must admit,  I feel like the odd man out--But listening at Ofie's funeral today, I was reminded of how she walked in her faith and upheld her convictions in a way that wasn't preachy or arrogant.  I knew she loved God by the way I saw her love people.  Obviously, God and her family came first and it comforted me to feel like I am walking down a similar path with my family--we might not look like everyone else, but it's who God is calling us to be.  I have to chuckle as the words I speak to the teens and tween come back to me, "Right is always right even if no one is doing it.  Wrong is always wrong even if everyone is doing it."  Sometimes being different is being who God wants you to be.  Ultimately, my goal is to meet my maker and for my kids to know and love the Lord so we will love as many as we can along the way. I think Ofie and I had a lot in common.  I do.

So today we walked to ballet, pointing out butterflies and birds along the way.  This afternoon, I walked around the lake while the kids ran.  I breathed in the beauty that was before me.  All of it. And tonight, we danced in the kitchen after dinner to "God of This City."  And this little one fell asleep listening to her dad reading Charlotte's Web aloud to her. And the day was a gift. . . so we decided to live it as such.

One day she will no longer sneak into our bed in the middle of the night. . .and I will miss her.

I get to be there for this.

And this.

And this.

And this.

“We are the windows through which our children first see the world. Let us be conscious of the view.” 
― Katrina Kenison
Children are a heritage from the Lord,
    offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
    are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man    whose quiver is full of them.
Psalm 127:3-5