A Plan Seven Years in the Making

Time keeps right on flying by.  The last week of summer vacation is upon us.  I have no idea how it snuck up on us in this way!  While our summer did not look anything like we had planned, because we trusted God and were obedient and patient in a seven year wait. . .God brought us to what I like to think of as our "Forever Home."

The story is simple.  When I was pregnant with Janessa seven years ago, we began looking for a larger house.  My request was simple.  It had to have more than we currently have but not so much that it would feel enormous when my babies flew the nest.  Ernie and I composed a list.  A very thorough, specific list that would serve as our guide over the next seven years.  We immediately found and fell in love with  a brick house in an area north of us.  We put our house on the market in an attempt to purchase it contingent on us selling our home.  Unfortunately, they wanted no contingencies.  We were out of the running.

Hear me when I say, I feel like God was growing our contentment in ALL circumstances.  I truly believe, it's because we didn't get the house that I was able to work sixty percent, then only twenty percent, and now only one day a week from home.  Our little house on the corner of our world was enough.  Our small house, grew a tight family.  Our home hosted many gatherings that were overflowing with life and love.  The size did not matter.

However, over the seven years period of time, we would eventually fall out of escrow once; not stand a chance in another; and generally feel a little apprehensive as to why nothing worked out. It was three years ago when we took guardianship of our 12 year old brother in law that I began to sense maybe we really would outgrow this home.  His limbs were longer, friends bigger.  I began to wonder how we could host teenagers without being relegated to only the upstairs.  While I pondered, I didn't worry.  The house's location allowed me to hear my son on the PA for Thursdays announcements.  I was able to wave from the window as my kindergartener walked to the library on Friday.  High school was a mere seven minute walk away.  It was all good (for the most part).

And then, while on the first week of summer vacation--away at a beach house in Pismo, we got the text that set a chain of events in action that my mind is still reeling over.  Were we interested in the original home we had looked at seven years ago? Say what?  Um, yeah!!!  But how is this even possible and let's not get our hopes up because look at all that has happened before.  God obviously has wanted us to stay put.  Now could be the same thing. . .So, apparently when my aunt passed away a few months ago, we went to my cousin's after the funeral.  Low and behold it was right across the street from the house we had wanted. I said, "Oh, we could have been neighbors!!!  We loved that house but didn't get it."


Months later that same cousin would be talking to our mutual cousin, our realtor. She mentions the neighbors are moving out of the house Janene and Ernie loved.  Our realtor rushes over to talk to the owner to try and orchestrate something before it's put on the market.  She asks for us to be given a chance.  The owner agrees and shows us the house as soon as we are home from vacation.  Father's Day we see it, we offer what they are asking contingent on the appraisal and we are in escrow...on a Sunday.  On Father's Day, Ernie's first home purchase.  It was glorious really!  It was a whirlwind thirty-two days.  There was purging and packing that needed to be done.  There were good byes that needed to be said.  There were God's perfect plans unfolding.  7 years we waited for this house. 7 years.  There is so much significance to the number seven.  The number seven is the foundation of God's word. 

It doesn't matter how many times I tell this story, or write it.  My mind is blown Every.  Single.  Time.  God's ways are so perfect.  I believe this house was always His plan for us, hence why we were so drawn to it.  Over the years, I can't tell you the number of times we drove by thinking. . .this was the one that got away, yet being content to stay where God put us.  Our neighborhood became our mission field.  We loved it.  We still do.  So much in fact we are going to have to let it go.  Selling it is the best option simply because we love it so much, we would love to get a family in there who will love it in much the same way.

I thought moving would be incredibly emotional for me.  Surprisingly, it's not.  Home is where my people are.  They are all here with me, so I'm home. I'm happy.  I'm content. I'm grateful to God for orchestrating this house buying experience.  Truly He is the author of our story and we feel blessed to be a part.

October 7, 2012

Today I am following the tradition of writing a letter to the birthday kid.  

Only today it is to myself.

Dear Janene,

Happy birthday!

How is it that another year has come and gone?  I know.  I remember, last year wasn't exactly one for the memory books. But here we are, another year older, another year wiser, another year under our belt and I feel like perhaps this year has been one of complete and utter despair sometimes.  I feel like for the first time EVER, EVER,  I tried to follow the path God set before me.  I put my complete and utter trust in Him and was led by His hand into this complete unknown world of dying more to myself so that I could give more to others.

This was the year of peace.  Peace in my heart, peace in my soul.  This was the year to put my judgements to the side, and more often than not keep my opinions to myself if it didn't involve me. Did I think things?  Yes, absolutely.  Did I always put it out there for everyone else to know?  Absolutely not.  Total improvement over here. In this year of peace, my relationship with you, Lord grew, I felt you leading me to worship at one place and enjoy fellowship at another.  I found peace with that decision for our little family. I found peace of mind when the whole house thing fell through. I was disappointed, of course--but realize your plan and mine are totally different sometimes.  That's just the way it is.  I can live with that,

When I finally gave myself permission to quit my teaching job to be home with the kids more...God, you gifted me an opportunity to ease out a little easier.  With a one day a week contract I still do what I enjoy, but without all the headaches associated with full time teaching these days.  Public education is not what it used to be. . .I miss the good old days when we weren't driven by test scores, and scores alone.  However, through this first hand experience with scores, God, you opened my eyes to really see my children for who they are:to accept them and their abilities.  With these new lenses you've crafted for me, I can take the responsibility I feel as a "teacher" to acknowledge and accept that my children's performance in school is not a direct reflection of who I am.  Thank you for that.  Homework hour is so much easier now.

Janene, it is only through this new found hunger and thirst for Him that your life has been filled with good, solid people of faith with whom you can share your heart. You have drawn near to those who lift you up and you have reached out and made connections that otherwise may have never been.  The Lord is doing big and beautiful things with you, friend.  Big and beautiful.  It may not be the amount on that teeny weenie little paycheck you received on the first, it may not ever be your own office as a counselor. . .but big in the sense that you are investing in the precious gift He has loaned you for a little while.  The days are long, but the years are short. . .Beautiful is the fact that tears fall from my eyes as I type this. . .you were all alone this week, friend.  No husband to look forward to at the end of a long day to reprieve you; restless nights because your soul mate wasn't there. . .but yet, God in all his mercies, poured favor upon favor of you this week because while it was hard and tiring--Janessa didn't have one fit.  Not. One. Tantrum.  You kept your cool and you did good, friend.  You did good because He lifted you up and carried you through the days with opportunities for fellowship with the wonderful women He has placed in my life.  Your family, your besties, your Good Morning Girls.  You are blessed.

And so this year has gone, Janene.  Blessing upon blessing.  You are actually living your dream--the one you had written on your heart but didn't dare speak aloud in case it never happened?  Yes, that one.  You are home with your babies.  You are lighting their hearts on fire for Christ--you are accepting them as they are and getting rid of your selfish expectation of who they should be.  You are filled with gratitude for a husband who works hard so that your dreams can continue to come true.  You are closer to the forties and there isn't a single thing to fear.  It is just a number that I look at proudly because I like the me I am so much more today than who I was at twenty-seven.  I am sure I will like who I am at forty-seven even more so. What a beautiful thought.

Janene.  For as many revelations as you have had, for as many times you have called out to God in complete frustration, for as much love as you have given and received. . .you are who He has meant you to be.  Love yourself.  Give yourself grace.  Forgive yourself and move on.  There is so much freedom in loving the you--you are today--just how you are: inside and out.  Happy birthday.  Enjoy everything about this day, especially that husband who traveled four hours just to be home for twenty-four.

With love & gratitude,
Your 36-year-old self

August 30, 2012

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.--Matthew 6:19

It seems like forever that I have hated our bedroom furniture.  I know hate is a little extreme, but we bought it over ten years ago when it was the rage to have everything oak match: headboard and dressers.  It is heavy duty, quality furniture that cost a pretty penny.  There was no way I could justify paying for a new bedroom set.  Since our whole not moving decision, I have been in this constant effort to simplify and minimize.  Reading Almost Amish isn't helping either.  We have so much and can make do with so much less. 

The fact that I went to a friend's house on Friday for a Treasure swap, was yet again a reminder of our abundant blessings. There was even more great stuff to look through and choose from than the last time I went-- except during the prayer before we began I was moved by something she said about how blessed we are. As I looked around, although there was much, I decided to try to keep it to what we really needed.  Truth be told: we don't need a whole lot.

So, with that in mind, I decided to make use of what I had and give our bedroom furniture a little face lift.  After browsing this store yet again, I purchased what I needed, came home and got to work.  As fate would have it, the baby went down for her nap  easily and minutes into the beginning of my painting adventure, Ernie called to tell me he was on his way home. When he heard what I was up to, I heard a pause and maybe a sigh but he didn't complain.

When he came home, he picked up the kids from school, took them to the dentist and picked up dinner because he was loving the transformation taking place.  In a total of six hours, I redid two pieces, cleaned out all our drawers and painted and reupholstered (Ernie and his staple gun worked their magic) the chair.  Not bad for a day's work!!

The second piece:

While the paint may be a little pricey--missing all the steps of prep work was worth it to me.  I purchased a clear wax as well as a dark one, because I knew I wanted them a little antique-ish.  With three large windows with white shutters and crown molding, I didn't want a bright white, flat paint.  We are very happy with the results!

For the chair redo.  We just used what we had on hand fabric wise and it works well enough for now.  I would like to paint the desk and then paint the chair a color that pops, but I have to be realistic.  The bedspread won't last forever, so I need something very versatile.  Old white works. And as easy as it was, not every day is filled with the uninterrupted time with dad home with the kids.  And  my wrist, arms and legs may not be sore today from all the abuse work.
One last look.

Now I am going to be on the look out for a hope chest.  My mom had one and I would love one at the foot of our bed to hold some of my treasures--painting it may or may not be on the agenda as well. Yesterday was just one of those days that I was filled with extreme gratitude for our resources, our space, and our new furniture!!

August 12, 2012

We are back in town and what a weekend to come back to!  The town of San Diego was very kind to us in the eighties with a nice coastal breeze at all times as opposed to 106 degree weather here!  Really?!  We took off in the RV on Monday and were about a half an hour away when the phone rang and we learned that the hamster had escaped.  We did what all good parents do and turned around--thankfully it was found before we made it all the way back home.  So, although the start of our vacation was a little rough. . .Campland by the Bay did not let us dwell on that mishap.

We relaxed on the beach, swam in the pools, and feasted for four days of fun! We took walks and bike rides that lasted for hours.  We rode around Mission Bay Park and Fiesta Island--it was a long almost three hour ride which wore us out!  The bike path was a little narrow, and the sand made Bubba slip once in a while, so I would love to say it was totally enjoyable. . .but I'm a mom--a worrier mom, and it was a little stressful, but we did it!

We rented a golf cart and explored the camp further.  We  walked the beach looking for seashells and sea glass.  We had a fire and made s'mores, and we watched The Great Outdoors.  Sidenote:  the rating system of the eighties was very different from today.  There were multiple times in this film that the 7-year-old pointed out, "That is inappropriate."  Oops. . .we watched it anyways and had a good laugh or two, or three!!  We played a rather aggressive game of princess Memory while Nessa napped one afternoon and it got a little heated. Can you tell?

Our time together in the RV is always one where I am reminded of God's faithfulness.  I am in close corners with the people whom I love most, enjoying the beauty of the outdoors that He created for us!  There is no mail to open or big quarters to clean.  It is just us living simply and fully with minimal distractions.  The time away was so necessary, so good.

Three days into the trip when our realtor called to let us know the price had been reduced on the house we had been in escrow with, my heart didn't sink.  It didn't leap.  I felt a calm peacefulness that God's plan would be revealed.  So we put in an offer for what they were asking.  When they countered for our best, we didn't budge or offer any more.  If it was meant to be it would be. . .

So, the roller coaster continued, only this time my emotions didn't rule me.  This time I continued to count my blessings about the house we currently live in.  This time, I made sure I was present with the kids in all our beach outings and not distracted by wandering complicated thoughts of that other house.  I wasn't anxious; the waiting didn't bother me at all.  I just kept living in the now because that's all that really matters anyway.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34

To be continued. . .

July 24, 2012

And the answer was. . . No.  The bank will not lower the house price to that of the appraisal so we are walking away.  We are closing the door on this escrow proceeding and although disappointed, we are filled with gratitude for what we do have.  We weren't looking to move, the house found us.  If it is meant to be has always been our motto--and apparently it is not.  I can't wrap my mind around paying $31,000 over what the house is worth today.  The fact that a government agency, Fannie Mae even went so far as to suggest we join their "Homepath Program" so the appraisal wouldn't be an issue completely boggles my mind.  Isn't that how the whole housing fiasco started?  People paying over inflated prices for their homes and then losing them?  This is not a club I am interested in joining.  Nor am I wanting to pay PMI for the next several years while we try to gain equity. . .in a house that still needs a lot of work.  Paint and new carpet only do so much.

So, I resolve to spend the rest of our summer days not worrying about that house.  I resolve to love every second of life in this one.  I also resolve to let people know of Fannie Mae's unethical practices because. . .it just isn't right.  As is life, always an adventure--knowing we are choosing to walk away makes this a little easier to swallow.  a little.

But this was waiting for me this morning, my postcard from the Cosmos. . .
Go with it. Roll, janene. Swerve. 

The "unexpected" is just my way of preparing you for more than you knew to ask for. 

Bounce back, serpentine, 2-step - 
    The Universe

I can live with that: )

July 20, 2012

Still waiting. . .and feeling kind of blah about it.  All of us are really.  But then the wisdom of our nine-year-old snaps me back to reality.  After apologizing for snapping at her over something insignificant, I tried to explain that I'm just irritated with the whole house thing.  With wide eyes, she shrugged her shoulders saying, "We're fine if we stay.  We're fine if we go. God's plan, not ours."  And then she ran off.

A good friend, text me this reminder on Wednesday, with Romans 8:²⁸ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I know this truth but what a sweet reminder it served as another long day passed by with no clear answer.  Today I had to force myself out of the house for awhile with the kids, a Seeds CD 
was playing in the car and wouldn't you know track 9 just happened to be the above mentioned passage.  Coincidence?  No, God. Then as I sat in the left turn lane to enter the freeway. . .the one that runs right behind the new house--I saw this:

 And I chuckled as I pointed it out to the kids, thinking--ain't that the truth?  There are plenty of lessons in this whole wait and see process.  Ultimately I have to keep in the front of my mind that God's plan for our family is what it is--and whether or not we get the house, we are still going to be fine.  With God by our side, we will actually be even better than fine.  And that's good enough for me.