September 25, 2011

I have been looking forward to Blog Sugar for months now.

Months.

I even made arrangements to stay with a friend I've come to know through reading her blog, Sugar Mama. This is SO outside of my comfort zone.

I started this blog January first, 2011 to learn more about my Canon; however, it has become a place that I've come to learn and grow as I read the writings of other women. Phenomenal women.  

Women who have blogs that I can probably only ever imagine because. . .

just because.

After the harrowing events of my life this week--

I didn't think I would make it.

How could I surround myself with a roomful of strangers when I could barely shut the door to use the restroom due to the fear that was crippling me.

The doctor said I should go.  The psychiatrist.

Yes, I went there because I needed strategies to deal with these anxious feelings that creep from the shadows of my mind.

Heck, I still need the strategies.  Probably in full force since I have decided to go.

Then these little guys, who have no idea about what really happened that day--no idea the pure terror and fear I encountered--no idea how every day since then has been a struggle to remember to breathe, to remember to eat. . .

wrote me the sweetest letters.

They have no idea how important it is that I pack my bag and head out the door.

Me being able to do this means I am on the road to recovering.

But still, they don't want me to go.

I'm his angel and his unicorn.

But I am following orders and heading into the unknown with my kids on my heart and His words imprinted there. . .
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."--Isiah 43:2
(This sent by a dear friend from work)