May 2, 2012

Sometimes I really miss working at the High School.  Not enough to go back to work full time, but I miss that age of discovery and self-motivation. Not all students had their own dreams and drive yet, but as a Freshman English teacher I was able to see it develop over the course of four years with visiting students.

Teaching only eighth grade, I don't see it yet.  After I have taught them, they leave.  Rarely do they come back to visit their middle school years.  It seems they are happy to get on with it already and I get that.  I really do. . .but I still miss it.

Last week I had two unexpected visits that made me miss those high school days. . .the first a friend, who I have watched grow up in our neighborhood.  She drives now, is taking three AP classes and as a Junior is researching colleges for her future.  Application time is really right around the corner.  I admire those people who have the gumption to get out there and go the distance when it comes to college.  To leave home, live in a dorm, and experience college life is part of the whole "young adulthood."  Unfortunately, I had no desire to go away.  I was afraid to leave home.  I was the peace keeper.  I liked to make sure everyone else was okay.  So, I played it safe and attended a good school, five minutes from home and became a "commuter."  But it's just not the same.

So listening to this young lady, all her hopes and dreams swirling around and round, up and down, clouding her mind--I smile.  At least she has the confidence to take that first step away from home to see what is out there for her.  And I ask for prayer for her.  She has this other issue that she is working on. . .one that kind of just crept into her life unexpectedly and uninvited; one that has the potential to destroy all she has worked for if she doesn't conquer it.  So I ask for prayers for her.  This young woman has great potential, value, and worth and I pray she can see it in herself so she can conquer her battle head-on and defeat the enemy who whispers lies into her psyche.

The other surprise visit was from my almost twenty-one year old niece who currently resides out of state.  Apparently she was down here for a few days researching some places to live in the Fall. Greeting this young woman and her boyfriend, feeding them, and catching up was nice.  They have some lofty plans ahead but I think this trip showed them that they need to do more saving before they put the plan in action.  My niece reminds me a lot of myself--hard worker, living on her own at twenty and pretty in love with this guy she has been dating for four years.  My hope is that she doesn't jump into "their" plan, abandoning her family, apartment, and job before they are ready. Before they are married. Listening to myself with them...I walked a fine line between being supportive and saying how I really was feeling.  Then I listened to E and he put it all out on the table. No beating around the bush.  He called it as he saw it and I was grateful he was home.  Grateful he loves this niece so much that he would be nothing but truthful about the pitfalls of living with someone before they are married.  The dangers of moving out of state with no commitment between the two of them and God.  I was relieved it came from him.  I didn't dare broach that subject because, well. . .

I did live with him before marriage and I wouldn't recommend that to my own daughters.
What seemed practical then seems unnecessary now.
. . .and many relationships that start off with living together before marriage don't end with, well, marriage.  I remember hearing a saying, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

But I didn't go there with my niece, not with the young man sitting there. Not yet.  There will be a time and place for that discussion. I didn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable or create a division.  I just want her to be happy. And safe. And prepared. And I promise next time she comes to eat, I will make sure it is cooked all the way through! It's the stove--I tell you!

Freezer meal took on a whole new meaning with the un-baked spaghetti dish tonight!

So, I feel like a hypocrite.  Don't do as I did? That just doesn't sit well with me.  I don't think it will sit well with my daughters either.  How do you navigate those things you did that you would like your kids not to repeat?