Happy Birthday to Me

Rounding up and realizing I'm closer to 40 than my kids are to any major milestone is odd.  I celebrated a blessed thirty eight years yesterday. It's funny the older you get the pomp and circumstance of the festivities tend to fade.  Since Everyone has a birth story, I enjoyed my own by reading it aloud to the kids.

The day started with my mom's annual Happy Birthday sing aloud--sore throat and all.  Within two hours of waking I needed my dad to save the day and kill a rat that Coco had cornered in the back yard.  Gross!!!  I was then blessed to sit at the breakfast table among new friends and old friends.  We've shared stories, lives, children and hearts the span of twenty-two years and some over the course of the past year, but true friends nonetheless.  Text messages throughout the day, flowers on doorsteps, an hour worth of snuggling with a new book fresh from my Amazon wish list filled my heart with peace.  All were thoughtful, meaningful gifts by girls who know me.  They know my heart and I was so very filled with gratitude.

And finally, a birthday dinner at a restaurant that Ernie planned by himself.  He invited the family.  He made the reservation. He brought the cake.  He did it all for me.  And again I was filled with gratitude.

And since it's my tradition to write letters to my kids on their birthdays, I thought I'd write one to myself, just because. . .

Dear Janene,

Happy 38th birthday!  Happy 38 years of a blessed existence and counting.  Happy day, oh happy day!  My dear friend,   I feel I can call you that now.  Over the course of your thirties you and I have reconciled the past and moved forward to days turned months turned years of a peaceful and happy coexistence.   You've forgiven yourself for the wrong roads, road blocks and stumbles of your twenties and embraced the life of love that God had waiting for you all along. 


God chose you for this husband and these kids. He picked you to be really good at something--your profession: teaching. He then gifted you the opportunity to walk away.  He's transitioned you slowly to see that where you belong is right where you are in your home that is warm and inviting, loving and inspiring.  He has given you this invitation to pour life and love into your family.  He trusts you.  He trusts this calling on your life and He expects nothing less than your best.  Give it to them.  Give it for Him.  Give it to yourself.  

Remember what Sharron Lindsay said years ago in her office.  Dreams can change.  The paths we take to get to said dreams can look different than what we originally thought.  The beauty of your life now, Janene is if you choose to let Him lead you, the map of your life can truly be your mission work... your anything you've been praying for.  Look at all the little in your daily life and count it as BIG!  Little moments, sweet words, a look, a strawberry kiss, a request to play Barbies, a look of a hurting child as she crosses the street to come into your embrace, a call from the nurse, their voices reading aloud their devotional over crumbs on the table and spilled  milk, homework that you must google to know how the heck to do, laundry: lots of it, and dinners cooked in crockpots or with your helper by your side.  All these seemingly small moments you're not missing out on.  You have the honor and privilege of doing the work He has created and called you to do,  Listen!  Stop comparing paychecks, or school stories or guilt, or obligation, or basking in the teacher of the year you were in the past.  Be present.  Unwrap the beautiful present He trusts you with every single day.  And Janene, if this one day a week teaching thing is really over next year. . .you can walk away with no regret or fear or anxiety.  If it is done, then that too is a gift He is giving you.  Open it.  

Love Him.  Love the work you do.  Love the people He surrounds you with and LIVE the life He expects you to live.  Your kids are watching you.  They see the parts of you that are rough around the edges.  They also are your biggest fans.  Love yourself Janene, just as you are--flaws and all.  This body birthed those babies.  this body is healthy and filled with heart and soul.  Appreciate it.  Take care of it.  Live in it and live in it well.

Thirty-eight years and living the life of your dreams.  You are extraordinarily blessed, my friend.  Use that blessing to bless, love, and inspire others.

Love Always,
Me

Ernie captured this.  Us: This morning. Enough.