Mom's Birthday

What started out as an innocent tea party request from Nessa for Grandma's birthday, turned into the sweetest, pleasant birthday surprise!

As is no surprise, women turned up for this celebration.  My mom is many things to many people, and her affect on their lives was pretty evident as they carved time out of their Sunday to celebrate her.  She was quite overcome with emotion, which was neat to see.  I think we really surprised her and it was nice to do for her and watch her sit back, relax, and enjoy her time with family and friends.  Happiest of birthdays, Mom.  We love you so much and had such a good time celebrating you!!

Birthday Blessings

To the man who I am blessed to call my husband.  

Happy Birthday Honey, so glad to be able to adventure together!  

Happy Birthday Baby Bird

How is it that, we are already deep into December and I have not written my darling daughter her birthday letter?  My apologies, Nessa Bessa...here goes:

Dear Baby Bird,

Happy birthday love bug!  I don't know why you're already six!  I asked God to slow down time just a bit so I could enjoy these little years to the fullest!  And while we have enjoyed your fifth year immensely, six already has the makings of a wonderful year!

You have accomplished much this year.  We completed our first and only year of homeschooling, and what absolute perfection it was!  One whole year with my sidekick right next to me all day long will never be forgotten.  Never.  The memories we made, adventures we encountered, crafts we made, and deliciousness we cooked up in the kitchen will top my memory bank of fun!  You are who you are, sweetness, and cuddles, loving and generous.  Your manners are a testament to the good-natured, thoughtful little girl you are.  It brings me joy when you're away from me and parents still tell me what excellent manners you display. It's because you truly have a grateful heart.

I wish I could narrow down all our fun into a list of favorites, but there has been so much that I just can't!  Every minute with you is such a gift. You make me smile, stoop down to your level, hug fiercely and smile bigger.  You complete us.  You are such a gift to all of us.  But the gift of time that I have had with you is treasured.  I was made for this role of juggling "mom" to five.  You were made to be a part of this beautiful family portrait.

I love waking up most mornings to you beside me.  I tell dad not to worry, you will soon stop and I'll enjoy the three am sneaking in visits while I still can.  They don't bother me a bit.  Lambie continues to be your favorite.  He has been stuffed and restuffed under grandpa's care and his head is bare but you keep loving him and he is another part of you.  I remember your first day of kindergarten.  I came upstairs to find him sitting at the top of the stairs and I cried.  I wasn't quite sure who was missing him more--me or him.

You have blossomed in kindergarten!  We love reading together, and I especially like how you sing songs while you write.  Doing homework with you is usually a delight--unless you're grumpy, and in that case, we postpone until you're feeling it because it is not worth a fight.  School days are longer now and my time with you shorter, so I want to invest in that time wisely.  You are worth every ounce of my attention.  You say the cutest, most endearing things.  I just love you so much, baby bird.

May the angels of heaven watch over you, especially papa.  You know, I will always remember how he kissed you good bye one last time.  I think partly because you were always so attentive when visiting.  You would start and end a trip to grandma and grandpa's with a kiss to papa without any prompting.  Your heart for him was special.  May this year be filled with new friends, and opportunities to have fun and serve.  May your wishes all come true and may you come to grow closer to the Lord, keeping that grateful heart for all He has provided for you.

All my love always,

Mom

Forties Festivities

The first week of forty has been filled with family, friends, and celebration.

 I went to wine with two girlfriends.  The shop closed too early so we went next door and sat on the patio talking about all our parenting imperfections.  I feel blessed to know these women, to bare our souls and to laugh at ourselves and with each other when it's necessary.  There are no airs, only love.  Sushi, pho, and Eureka burgers also happened this week. It's a beautiful problem to know this kind of love, let me tell you!

My war room is growing.  I just love everything about it!

 Talented friends created beautiful gifts.

 My brothers showed up to the Golden Days Parade festivities.  That's all I really wanted--all of us in the same space doing something we had enjoyed as kids.  It was very nostalgic.

We celebrated Uncle Frank's birthday on the patio.

These girls are a hoot!

Sitting on our corner.

 We ate at an oldie but goodie.  I had been craving Mexican food for awhile.  My nina Karvel made the best lemon pound cake and a chocolate cake that were delicious.  It was a little rushed as I like to get the kids in bed at their bed times during the week, but I appreciated all of my family who showed up.

 A gift that I had permission not to share. . .

 Mimosas with my mom friends.

Mass was celebrated by the priest who married us.  I adore Fr. Peter Dennis.  It felt like a huge blessing to have him be the celebrant at mass the morning of my special day.

And Ernie, made this birthday pretty spectacular.  I had forty gifts to unwrap.  He overdid it.  The gifts were so thoughtful and meaningful and comprised of the things I love.  That morning he got up early with me to see what we could accomplish running wise in forty minutes.  We ran five in a little over forty and it felt good!

I always tease I have a birthday month, but the reality is. . .I squeezed all my fun into a week this year.  It was loud, and wild by my standards and filled with the people I care about most.  Forty is off to a fantastic start.  I think I'm going to like it here.  Yes, yes. . . I think I"m gonna like it here! (Sung in my loudest Annie voice)

Letter to my Littles: Forty Today

My Dearest Littles,

Today is a milestone birthday for me. Forty. Wow, I remember when that seemed so old!  Today, on the celebration of my birth it feels like an open doorway into a special time and place.  There is no fear.  There is no woe.  There is simply a feeling of peace and contentment to have made it this far in life with the gifts of each of you.

Forty feels like a freedom to be who God made me to be.  Forty feels like wind in my hair, sunlight on my skin, and true joy radiating from the inside out.  It has only taken forty years to get me to this place, and oh what a fabulous place it is, sweet littles.  All the angst of my twenties long gone, and the hard parenting and career choices of my thirties a thing of the past, forty feels fantastic thus far.  I know there will be hard seasons of parenting teens and tweens up around the bend, but for now, this year, forty feels like I've arrived on the doorstep of a true gift.

I may have played it a little too safe in my thirties, so that we missed the boat to move into a larger house with more space.  But none of you want to move.  Your roots are here, what we have is enough and that fills my mama heart with joy!  I may have messed up with some relationships in the general sense of the word, "messed up," but I handled them. I confronted and asked for forgiveness.  I moved on.  If they can't, then it's no longer my problem.  I have learned to let it go. Loves, forty is a place where I know who I am, who we are in Him, and what He asks of me.  There is nothing more beautiful than living the life He intends for you. Nothing.

So today, on the celebration of the day of my birth, I write 40 wishes that I have for you:

1.  I wish you rainbows after the rain. . .think of Noah's promise, and then think of me.
2.  I wish you seasons of struggle to discover your strengths.
3.  I wish you perseverance to run the race set before you.
4.  I wish you enough love to last a lifetime.
5.  I wish you the ability to recognize when you've made a mistake in a relationship, and seek to make it right.
6.  I wish you a wonderous and adventurous spirit to explore God's beautiful world.
7.  I wish that you would always chase butterflies.
8.  I wish that you would always look for the good even when bad seems to be all the news covers.
9.  I wish you solid relationships with your siblings that will last your entire lives.
10.  I wish you never lose your sense of wonder.
11.  I wish you make art with your own too hands as often as you can.
12.  I wish that you would never compromise your morals or values to fit in to a world we were called to be set apart from.
13.  I wish you boldness to go out in this world and shine his light.
14.  I wish you spare change to buy surprise cups of coffee.
15.  I wish you peaceful hearts that will follow you all the days of your life.
16.  I wish you hours of deep conversation around a fire pit that keeps you connected with those you love.
17.  I wish you the kind of life that is lived in front of you, not on a telephone screen.  Look up. Live.
18.  I wish you an insatiable desire to read.  Books open the door of your imagination, they help you learn.  Fall in love with books and you have a friend for life.
19.  I wish you hand picked flowers, any time, all the time.  Brighten someone's day.  May your day be brightened too.
20.  I wish you a sense of competence in a world that wants to compete.  Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
21.  I wish you home made chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.  Grab them hot as often as you can.
22.  I wish you walks on the beach waiting for sunset.  Notice the masterpieces.  He paints them for you!
23.  I wish you friends who accept you for who you are and love you for it.
24.  I wish you silent successes that scream you can do anything you put your mind to.
25.  I wish you the kind of marriage daddy and I have been fortunate enough to live.
26. I wish that you would never forget the elderly.  Always say hello.  Your life is not more important than theirs.  Never.
27.  I wish you clarity when making life choices.  Do what you love and it will never feel like work.
28.  I wish you freedom from the world's expectations for you.
29. I wish you courage to stand when those around you sit.
30.  I wish that your children will know the Lord like you do.  They are how you leave your legacy on this world.
31.  I wish you bike rides to the lake that always remind you of us, long after we are gone.
32.  I wish you camping trips with stories of the days from your childhood where you recall your camping stories.
33.  I wish you would use the gifts you've been given to help change this world!
34.  I wish for peace of mind and in your heart for all the days of your life.
35.  I wish that you always know how much we love you.  Nothing you can do will ever change that love.
36.  I wish you learn from daddy and my mistakes and you strive not to repeat them.
37.  I wish you recognize daily the gifts you receive.  Count your joys love.
38.  I wish for your hearts of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
39.  I wish no roots of bitterness will ever be planted in your life.  Once planted there is no telling how long it will negatively effect your spirit. See the good.
40.  I wish that your lives will be long, your blessings many, and the love will run deep.

You, my littles are my legacy.  You are the greatest gift I will ever leave behind.  And on the day of my 40th birthday, I thank God for this time here on earth to pour into your lives so that I could better learn about my own.

All my love always loves,

Mama

Happy Birthday Dad!

Sorry we aren't there to celebrate with you!  Hope you have a great day.  We love you so much and are thankful you got to celebrate early Hawaii style: )  Wishing you a year full of peace, good health and opportunities to make happy memories!

Love,

Your Doll
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo

Birthday Wishes to My Biggest Little

My Dearest Lene Bean,

It's that time again!  Birthday wishes are sent your way to celebrate your most special of days!  Baby girl, my first born. . .you are twelve today and my mind absolutely bubbles over with memories that have hopefully made you feel as special as you truly are to us!

I was so scared to send you off to Middle School, but boy, was that completely unnecessary!  You applied yourself so well and worked so hard all year long!  I was so impressed by your ability to receive all A's and that one B in math--for the longest, you focused on math, went to tutoring daily, grew to really like your teacher, and then BAM:  ended the year with straight A's!  Your perseverance paid off Bean!  We are so proud of you!  It wasn't just your grades that impressed us; it was your ability to see people for who they really are, making an extra effort to say hello to your special friends at their lunch table.  You see them and love them.  I love that about you! I also watched as you went against the grain to Christians in Action even when none of your close friends wanted to go. You went anyway.  Love that!  You also conquered a fear and tried out for the Elite singing group:  AND YOU MADE IT!  Let that always serve to remind you that fear should have no place in holding you back.  Face your fears bean. Keep doing so now so your high school and college experiences can be the best yet.  They are right around the corner. . .unbelievable!

You and I are so different in so many ways.  You love the spot light.. You call things out as you see them, unafraid of conflict.  You dream big and sometimes my tendency is to reign you in BUT I shouldn't. You have a potential in you that I never had.  You believe in yourself and your confidence is unshakable. You definitely did not get that from me. . .but I sure am thankful you have it, because girl, you're going to move mountains (as Dr. Seuss would say)!

This world is a troubling place and I know you've sat in with dad and I and weighed in on some pretty heavy topics this year.  The truth is, there is no real way to protect you.  Songs, television, commercials, friends, the internet. . .they dump it all out there and you have to wade through it and figure it out, sometimes too soon, in my opinion.  But please always know we are here.  Ask us the questions.  Let us guide you into making educated and enlightening choices. We are always here for you and we love you forever an always.  My prayer day in and day out is that God protects and guides you, always bringing you back to me.  But i know you are only on loan--we all are and I am so honored that God chose me to be your mama.

For those times you think I am tough on you--I probably am.  It's tough being the oldest.  I remember.  I learn through the  decisions--both good and bad.  I'm sorry in advance for the times I will continue to get it wrong.  I'm doing my best to parent you during a trying time.  The world is changing and all I can promise is my constant and unfailing love.  Always.

You are  on the precipice of teenagehood. How??? Let's let this year of twelve be fantastic!  Let's love each other and get along and continue to create awesome memories together.  We will never have this time again.  I only have five more summers with you, Bean. Five.  Let's make it count.

Love you always and forever, Lene Bean.
Bless your eyes so you always see Him.
Your ears so you always hear Him.
Your heart so you write His words upon it.
Bless your hands so you always do His work.
And your feet so you always walk in His path.

Is it wrong to secretly hope you'll call me in college and ask me for our nightly blessing?  If it is, don't tell me. I want it to be right.

Love Forever,
Mom

Birthday Wishes

Happy 40th honey! You have blessed this family with your love, zest for life, work ethic and so much more!

Truly wishing you a year filled with happiness, health, and family desert trips in your Polaris with plenty of sweet tea.  

Love you more. Always.

Dear Birthday Boy

Dearest Bubba,

It has been a strange week leading up to your entry into double digits.  You literally blew me away last week at your track meet. Five races, where you ran your way to first place status each time, gave me pause.  Where is my little boy?  How have those legs carried you so far away from the pack in the race and why are they leading the way to this next decade of your life?  Time is cruel.  It is a race I was never prepared for, and it keeps going, so here I am saying, "Happy 10th Birthday, Son."

Bubs, I recently saw, of all things, a tatoo that stated a truth I want you to learn young. . ."Change is the only constant." And this has definitely been a year full of changes for you, our family, our household.  Of all my children, you are the one who struggles with any kind of change the most; therefore, I know this year has not been easy.  I know you've struggled with disappointments from people you love.  I know what a soft heart you have and that it hurts easily.  I also know some of the bruising has probably come from me in moments where my harsh tone or words did not fit the offense.  And as I have already told you far too many times this year, I am truly sorry.

I forgot how it feels to be on the verge of growing up. I never had to share my room with anyone.  I never had to share my parents with anyone.  I never watched that dance and now daddy and I dance it daily and son, it is hard.  We make many mistakes, of this I know for sure.  But you are not a mistake.  You were born to be ours.  You were born with a heart of compassion and eyes for justice.  You have stepped out and shown who you are becoming.  I know your life verse is Philippians 4:13  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength," but son, the Lord has been placing a new verse on my heart and He is showing me that it is just for you as we enter a new decade of your life:  "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."--Micah 6:8

There is something about who you are that my mama heart just knows has to pray for the wonderful things you will do for His kingdom over time.  Raising a Kingdom Kid with eyes like you have, who seeks out the broken, voices concern for people afraid to speak, and who can win races and know that it was not of your ability but because of God's given gift to you--all those qualities make for a kid who is already in tune with God's call on his life and totally open to the possibilities of his future! And to think, we have the privilege and joy to call you son!

From leadership to track to Pokemon cards. . .this year has been full of new opportunities to grow you.  I still remember that first week of school when I told you I just couldn't sit and help you with every detail of your homework.  I mean, you were in 4th grade!  From that day forward, you came in and did what needed to be done, only asking me for help on occasion.  Amazing what you can accomplish when you're pushed outside your comfort zone a little.  Hot lunch on Thursdays, Character Counts blue, College shirt day, Leadership shirt day--I watch the week fly by by the shirt you wear.  But I am so proud that you put yourself out there this year and tried new things!

I loved our desert trip to the mine, and the flowers you still gather for me.  I love your laugh and smile.  Your eyes can see into my soul.  They undo me in the best possible way because I know you get it. . .ALL of it! You see the good before the bad and I love that about you.  You've been the man of the house checking doors and lights when dad has to work and I have thoroughly enjoyed our Frisbee afternoons at the park.  Actually, I'm ready for summer nights that we can play!  I don't even mind that you beat me in steps every day.  I am four times as old as you, and not nearly as good at dropping everything to just run and play!  I really do need to work on that!  

I am so excited to see what the Lord has planned for your life.  You are such a gift to me, son.  I love you forever and ever to the moon and back times a thousand million zillion. . .until the end of time!

I hope your day and your ten-year-old adventure is memorable.  I can't wait to hear all about it!

All my love always,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mom

So Much Goodness

The weeks leading up to Christmas were slower and more deliberate than usual; however, they still passed way too quickly but were filled with too much goodness not to share.  I always get giddy with excitement at the end of the year as the fruits of my labor here on to blog will soon take shape into our pretty hard bound book full of captured moments and memories from our year.  Hard to believe it is time for that already!

Lene and I headed out for some girl time at Cocoa and Cupcakes, a Christmas celebration that takes place at our friend's church.  As excited as I was originally to go, it happened to be raining and getting there proved more challenging than I thought.  In addition, if I'm being real, Lene and I got into an argument as I was disappointed with her lack of effort into getting ready for our night out together.  It is such a catch 22--I know I am blessed that she is not overly interested in fashion and fitting in with her middle school peers, but sometimes I wish she would take more initiative and not fight me on dressing up from time to time, letting her beautiful curls down, and dare I say, ""be more girly?"  That comment may come back to haunt me int the future, I'm sure, but this particular night was hard.  And then we got there and were so blessed by the speaker, by the message--by the reminder of Christ coming to earth for us.  It turned out to be a great night and I'm glad I didn't let the devil steal my joy.

This little one loved hearing the ringing bells of the Salvation Army and enjoyed putting spare change in their bucket.  Once outside Sam's she was even able to ring the bell herself.

 My book club celebrated Christmas with a potluck brunch and a few of our favorite things. So much fun! And so many cute favorite things!

My Mom's group at church had a beautiful book club discussion followed by a gift exchange, feast, and a beautiful chorus of Happy Birthday to Jesus!  Such a blessing to be a part of!

One Tuesday morning, we followed the third graders across the street down to the church on the corner. They have an annual tradition of making candy canes, and they didn't mind us tagging along and calling it a field trip. It fit right in with our book about the Legend of the Candy Cane!  Nessa was able to see her friend and I was able to reconnect with a mom who moved out of state four years ago, but who is now back/.  I love how the Lord led her back and we were able to catch up.  I look forward to more conversation with her in the future.

Another day, we were able to go to a friend's house for a play date and lunch.  Our visit was long overdue and such soul food for me.  It was the kind of catch up session where there were no lulls or silences because it had been so long and so much goodness is happening between our families.  A joy to be a part of and to see Nessa running around playing and having such a good time.  It was a very special blessing this holiday season for me.

In between all this goodness, we still did school and I just felt completely in love with every detail of my life. All of it.

And one Saturday morning we headed to our church to help pass out Christmas baskets and toys for families going through a difficult time.  We went through the line three times.  I can not believe we had never helped out in this way before.  It was love in action and it gave each of the kids a job to do to bless someone else. Their energy and enthusiasm was contagious and I was so grateful that they really seemed to get it. . .how blessed we are and how it's our job to help others.  I do believe this is something we will definitely be a part of again.

And no year is complete without our annual visit to the Living Nativity.  There were some changes to it this year and we dressed warmly, hot cocoa in hands as we walked through and watched each scene unfold. No matter how many times we've heard it, it never seems to lose it's awe factor.  I love that the kid's feel like this is what the Frank family does. It is part of what makes Christmas...Christmas.

We hadn't been to the candy store to watch them make candy canes for a long time, but we thought Anthony might enjoy it so we went.  And it was packed, so we walked down a main street and checked out the nativity scene too.  Then we headed out to dinner.  It was fun!

The night concluded with us driving around town looking for houses that displayed the nativity scenes in their yards.  The kids had carefully colored a dozen different nativity scenes and had written, "Thank you for remembering Jesus is the reason for the season."  They took turns running their pictures up to the doors and leaving them under mats.  We had Christmas music playing and it was so enjoyable to watch them and to hear them plan aloud that next year they need to color even more!

When I look at all of these activities, it feels like we did a lot, but the reality is it was all very focused on Christ's birth and we tried to keep bringing it back to Jesus,  And it felt like they really get it and that just might be the biggest gift to me.