Lene Bean

Bean,

Today becomes a new chapter for you to write.  Happy 13th birthday my love.  Welcome to the teen age years!! There is so much to say, yet no words matter more than this:  I love you.  I love you completely and I feel so incredibly blessed to be your mama.

Lately as I pray over you and your life, this verse found me and I have to share:  Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life."  I believe this will be my battle cry for you over the next few years because the teen age years can be rough, if you let them or lose sight on the bigger picture which is simply God loves you just as you are.  You are enough.  If you care for your heart, tend to it, watch over it, fill it with God's word, your prayers, your blessings... It will be your center that keeps you close to God.

I know you're excited to turn 13 because you think it's a time you will hear more yes's than no's.  To some things perhaps, but our goal as your parents is to guard your heart and not to introduce it to too much too soon.  We only have your best interest at heart.  We will miss the mark and fail from time to time, but please trust this to be true.

13.  13!  How is it my first born is a teenager today?!  Our summers together are getting less and less, and just as everyone who has children has predicted, I'm wondering where did the time go!  Gone are the braces, long are the curls.  Suddenly if I'm going to a store, you want to go too, because. . .clothes.  You made the drama class and are so excited about a possible New York trip in April, regardless it's only July.  You have a Pinterest board to decorate your new room.  You are picking things that are your style not mine, and I like it.  This letting go and letting you lead has been gradually happening over the last year.  We trust you to make good decisions, we value your input and I look forward to your stories at the end of the day.

This summer has been different.  It has been emotionally draining as you go through your things, memories of your youth and this house you have lived in and loved feels like it is slipping away as we prepare this week to say good-bye.  Please know my heart breaks a little more each day too.  I lived her right out of college. Your dad and I married and soon after began having our babies--all of whom came home here.  It's hard to say good bye--that's why daddy always says, "See you later."  We will not be far away.  Whenever we drive by we will have happy memories of the life we shared together under this roof.  However, we will create new memories.  We will make it our own and believe it or not, 7th Street will become a mere memory.  I'm so thankful for the story God is writing with this house, honey.  How can we not be obedient and follow Him?  Between leaving AUnified, taking guardianship of Anthony, and this house, I have never heard God's voice more clearly.  During your teens, be still and listen for God's voice.  Trust Him to lead you and know that your mama is waging battle on your behalf over all the days of your life.  Just as I will never stop loving you, I will never stop praying for you either.

I just love who you are growing into.  Your shoe size is bigger than mine.  Some of my shirts can be passed down to you and you're ready for real jeans!!!  That sentence a few months ago had me laughing for days!
Jeggings will soon be a thing of the past, my girl has learned to button pants!!!  That makes me laugh out loud even now as I type this!!  Keep shining God's light wherever you go.   It is a dark, dark world and all we can do to fix it is our part. Our four walls, remember?   Love each other and pray often.  That's a pretty easy order for my girl.  I know.

Keep opening your heart with me.  I love the end of the day when you fill me in on all the details of your day. I love your story telling ability.  I love you sharing your heart even more.  I have a feeling wrapped in the warmth of your new room and swinging chair, it will be a sacred space you and I retreat to continue to grow close.  Only one request. . .ten o'clock, okay?  Your late night reading sessions are too much for me.  My eyes grow heavy way earlier than yours do, these days.

I leave you with 13 life lessons:

1.  Always remember, partial obedience is disobedience.  Let's work together to create the best teen years possible, but remember we have the final say and what we do is done out of love.

2.  You are loved first by your heavenly father, secondly by us.  It's an unconditional love that will last no matter what.  We will always be your safe place to land.

3.  Progress, never perfection.  That's way too much pressure to put on yourself.

4.  Remember, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  Be who He created you to be, not someone else's version.

5.  Love life.

6.  Be filled with joy.

7. Shine His light all the days of your life.

8.  You get in life what you have the courage to ask for. Our God is a God of miracles.

9.  Every day might not be good, but there is something good in every day.  Gratitude journal daily helps.

10.  Do what you think you can't do.  You will find. . .you can!!!

11.  Be patient.  God's not finished with you yet.  Every day of our life He's working on our hearts.

12.  You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequence of your choice.  Think things through.  

13.  Above all else, guard your heart. . .for everything flows from it.

You mean the world to me.  Thank you for your helpful heart, for your crazy stories, for the music in your speech, for the fire in your soul, for the light in your eyes.  The joy of being your mama is all mine.

Love you baby girl.  Always and forever until the end of time,

Mom

Happy Birthday Baby Bird

How is it that, we are already deep into December and I have not written my darling daughter her birthday letter?  My apologies, Nessa Bessa...here goes:

Dear Baby Bird,

Happy birthday love bug!  I don't know why you're already six!  I asked God to slow down time just a bit so I could enjoy these little years to the fullest!  And while we have enjoyed your fifth year immensely, six already has the makings of a wonderful year!

You have accomplished much this year.  We completed our first and only year of homeschooling, and what absolute perfection it was!  One whole year with my sidekick right next to me all day long will never be forgotten.  Never.  The memories we made, adventures we encountered, crafts we made, and deliciousness we cooked up in the kitchen will top my memory bank of fun!  You are who you are, sweetness, and cuddles, loving and generous.  Your manners are a testament to the good-natured, thoughtful little girl you are.  It brings me joy when you're away from me and parents still tell me what excellent manners you display. It's because you truly have a grateful heart.

I wish I could narrow down all our fun into a list of favorites, but there has been so much that I just can't!  Every minute with you is such a gift. You make me smile, stoop down to your level, hug fiercely and smile bigger.  You complete us.  You are such a gift to all of us.  But the gift of time that I have had with you is treasured.  I was made for this role of juggling "mom" to five.  You were made to be a part of this beautiful family portrait.

I love waking up most mornings to you beside me.  I tell dad not to worry, you will soon stop and I'll enjoy the three am sneaking in visits while I still can.  They don't bother me a bit.  Lambie continues to be your favorite.  He has been stuffed and restuffed under grandpa's care and his head is bare but you keep loving him and he is another part of you.  I remember your first day of kindergarten.  I came upstairs to find him sitting at the top of the stairs and I cried.  I wasn't quite sure who was missing him more--me or him.

You have blossomed in kindergarten!  We love reading together, and I especially like how you sing songs while you write.  Doing homework with you is usually a delight--unless you're grumpy, and in that case, we postpone until you're feeling it because it is not worth a fight.  School days are longer now and my time with you shorter, so I want to invest in that time wisely.  You are worth every ounce of my attention.  You say the cutest, most endearing things.  I just love you so much, baby bird.

May the angels of heaven watch over you, especially papa.  You know, I will always remember how he kissed you good bye one last time.  I think partly because you were always so attentive when visiting.  You would start and end a trip to grandma and grandpa's with a kiss to papa without any prompting.  Your heart for him was special.  May this year be filled with new friends, and opportunities to have fun and serve.  May your wishes all come true and may you come to grow closer to the Lord, keeping that grateful heart for all He has provided for you.

All my love always,

Mom

School's Out for TK

Dear Janessa,

This has been a dream year.  You have not always been the dream student, nor have I always been the dream teacher, but I like to think that these are days to remember.  I imagine one day when I am old and gray, sitting on my rocker on my porch, I will think back to this year as one of my happiest ever.  I got to do what I love: teach to someone I love: you.  There are so many moments etched in my memory forever.  I will always remember you yelling out "I did it, mama!"  simultaneously beaming and reaching out to hug me.  That precious memory alone brings tears to my eyes as I type that.  Do you know how many times I had the pleasure of hearing you and hugging you?  Countless.  Countless times it was I who witnessed the moment where after practice, you were able to master a skill.  Joy.  I am counting it all as joy, sweet girl.

Celebrating the little mile stones, being your teacher, going on adventures, and having my mamacita to do my daily chores with was such a blessing on this mama heart.  I had forgotten the joy that teaching brings after seventeen years filled with politics and checked out parents.  The good days were few and far between.  Ths year changed that.  I was reminded there are many ways to do what I love and feel fulfilled.  You taught me so much more than I taught you.  Days of Barbie and Littlest Pet shops, Dora and sweet picture books made me dig deep and rediscover the joy and wonder that children innately have.

Dance on Mondays.

Master Negotiator

Cooking Class

Geography Lessons via Nina

Expert Jam Maker

 This year was kind of like childbirth.  Thinking back, I remember more joy than pain.  I know hard days existed.  I know we both learned how to say sorry and move on so as not to spoil a whole day.  I know we could have done more had I better planned every day, but perhaps that is where the real beauty lay.  A year of days was set before us and for the most part we made the best of them and adventured together.  We learned.  We sang. We danced.  We pretended. We grew.  We are both different because we had this year together, and for that I am extremely grateful.

My little homeschooler, how I will miss you.  But first, SUMMER FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All my love,

Mom