Happy Birthday Baby Bird

How is it that, we are already deep into December and I have not written my darling daughter her birthday letter?  My apologies, Nessa Bessa...here goes:

Dear Baby Bird,

Happy birthday love bug!  I don't know why you're already six!  I asked God to slow down time just a bit so I could enjoy these little years to the fullest!  And while we have enjoyed your fifth year immensely, six already has the makings of a wonderful year!

You have accomplished much this year.  We completed our first and only year of homeschooling, and what absolute perfection it was!  One whole year with my sidekick right next to me all day long will never be forgotten.  Never.  The memories we made, adventures we encountered, crafts we made, and deliciousness we cooked up in the kitchen will top my memory bank of fun!  You are who you are, sweetness, and cuddles, loving and generous.  Your manners are a testament to the good-natured, thoughtful little girl you are.  It brings me joy when you're away from me and parents still tell me what excellent manners you display. It's because you truly have a grateful heart.

I wish I could narrow down all our fun into a list of favorites, but there has been so much that I just can't!  Every minute with you is such a gift. You make me smile, stoop down to your level, hug fiercely and smile bigger.  You complete us.  You are such a gift to all of us.  But the gift of time that I have had with you is treasured.  I was made for this role of juggling "mom" to five.  You were made to be a part of this beautiful family portrait.

I love waking up most mornings to you beside me.  I tell dad not to worry, you will soon stop and I'll enjoy the three am sneaking in visits while I still can.  They don't bother me a bit.  Lambie continues to be your favorite.  He has been stuffed and restuffed under grandpa's care and his head is bare but you keep loving him and he is another part of you.  I remember your first day of kindergarten.  I came upstairs to find him sitting at the top of the stairs and I cried.  I wasn't quite sure who was missing him more--me or him.

You have blossomed in kindergarten!  We love reading together, and I especially like how you sing songs while you write.  Doing homework with you is usually a delight--unless you're grumpy, and in that case, we postpone until you're feeling it because it is not worth a fight.  School days are longer now and my time with you shorter, so I want to invest in that time wisely.  You are worth every ounce of my attention.  You say the cutest, most endearing things.  I just love you so much, baby bird.

May the angels of heaven watch over you, especially papa.  You know, I will always remember how he kissed you good bye one last time.  I think partly because you were always so attentive when visiting.  You would start and end a trip to grandma and grandpa's with a kiss to papa without any prompting.  Your heart for him was special.  May this year be filled with new friends, and opportunities to have fun and serve.  May your wishes all come true and may you come to grow closer to the Lord, keeping that grateful heart for all He has provided for you.

All my love always,

Mom

Letters to my Littles: Leaving

My Dearest Littles,

We may be leaving on a jet plane, flying across the sky today, but our love will never leave you.  We may be separated by physical distance, but our hearts are intertwined for eternity.  All you need to do when you feel that little aching in your heart, is know that we're there.  We're thinking of you, missing you too.  Just as Jesus lives in your heart loves, so does our love.

Although leaving you is hard, leaving with the man I love is necessary.  Some day in your married lives, it will be necessary for you too: to leave the distractions of life and lean into your love, to celebrate your marriage and to re-connect with your spouse.  This trip has been a long time coming.  It's timing is perfect with our goal to get out and date this year.  We aimed for one date a month, and have been able to squeeze that time in and then some! Now we will have a whole week surrounded by God's gorgeousness away from the hustle and bustle of four different kids at three different schools. It will be good.  And you will be well.

Leaving creates opportunities for each of you to step up and do what you know needs to be done without my constant guiding presence.  It affords you the responsibility to take care of your school work, to love on each other a little bit more and to be sensitive to the ones who might be missing us most.  While we are way, you put to practice the life we live: small homes grow tight families. Be tight while we are away.  Love each other more, miss us less.

One day, sooner than I like to admit to myself, the situation will be reversed.  You will be leaving us. You will have your bags packed and we will be moving you into a dorm room, potentially further away than I can even imagine.  And I will be sorrowful and grateful in the same breath.  I will know that it was us who gave you wings to fly.  There is nothing in this house that tethers you to it.  I will fondly look at your act of courageousness and realize it started with us.  The days I went to the Mom Heart conference, the one I took that road trip with my tween, the nights dad lived away in San Francisco for work, the overnight desert trips, and that time we stepped on the airplane...we showed you how to leave the ones you love most, and how the welcome committee will always be out to greet you when you return.

Leaving is hard.  But when you love like we love you, you carry it with you to the depths of your soul. We will miss you, but we love who each of you has helped us to become.  We love the opportunity to miss you mucho, while simultansously, loving on each other, because without an us there would be no you.  See you soon.  I love you all the way across the universe to heaven and back forever and ever and ever and for always.

All my love,

Mom
xoxoxoxox

Letters to my Littles: Sibling Love

My Dearest Love Bugs,

If there is one thing I could guarantee, it would be that you would always be friends with your siblings. Although siblings grow up in the same household, it is astonishing how different each one may grow up to be. I hope that you always recognize there are more similarities than differences.  I hope that you like each other enough to choose to be friends for the rest of your life.

I have often said to you, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." But my prayer is that the choice to be a friend to your family is your intention. I can encourage it.  I can help you to develop it through shared experiences. And I can model it with my own brothers.  You learn by watching me. I know this, but it doesn't make the act of intentionally being a friend to your sibling any easier at times.

As an adult, a sibling does not have the same role he did as a child.  Time continues to pass, and differences continue to exist, but it is through the handling of these differences where your character can shine.  It's being true to who God asks you to be.  It's loving the person, because sometimes that's all you can do.  It's letting go of the expectation and the dream and embracing the fact that the relationship is still here, regardless of it being different from what you wished.  It's ceasing the moments that you're together, and accepting the realization that sometimes the gap is too big, the chasm too deep, the personalities and lifestyles too different to be anything other than what it is.  And that's okay, loves.  As long as you love, as long as you put your family first, God will take care of the details.  Trust this.

Is my prayer for you to have an even better relationship than I have with my brothers?  Yes.  I believe every parent wants more for their kids than they had.  Can I make that happen?  No.  As adults you will make choices to build, or choices to tear down.  Of course, I would prefer the first option, but it will be your lives to live.  For now, my role as mom, is simply to instill the value of family, to love you all, to encourage you to build your own relationship: meaningful ones.  I'm doing my best, and just always asking you to do the same.

Love you always and forever,


Mom

Letters to my Littles: Telling it Like it is

My Dearest Children,

There is nothing you can do that will ever change my love for you.  There will be many choices you make over the course of your life and each choice will come at a cost; there will be a consequence for your action. This is truth: you determine the course of your life.  Your life is the sum of all your choices.

Sometimes Daddy and I will be in full agreement with what you choose.  Other times, we may disagree but please know this: through it all, we will always love you.  Our love for you is similar to God's love for us. We love you unconditionally.  There are so many labels that separate all of us and put us into certain boxes--but how about, we get rid of all that and simply choose to love?  Love through the good choices and the bad. Love through the labels.  Love through the divisions.  Love through familial discord. Love through and through to the heart of who every child of God really is.  Choose love littles.  Always choose love.

All my love always,

Mama