Traditions

Traditions have found us through the years of parenting littles.  During the holiday season, walking through a living nativity has been a long standing tradition that the kids won't consider missing out on.  This year with the addition of tickets, the wait time was nothing, which made it easy to enjoy.  I'm noticing more and more with a six year old now, that most events are easier now because the "baby" has grown up.  There's no need for strollers, diaper bags, snacks. . .we just go and adventure together.

 Last year we added a Journey Through Bethlehem into our "Things to do" at Christmas time.  It is a reanactment of the town of Bethlehem, the market place.  The kids loved it last year and we were able to bring Ernie with us this year to experience.  I love that Jesus is the focus.  I especially love that the kids still want to do these kids of activities.

 Last minute, grandma decided to make some tamales so I took the girls over to help.  It was further confirmation that Janessa is growing up.  To see her spreading masa and wanting to be helpful was a moment of gratitude for me.

This year, since Jonathan's gift is running, he was the only one who even wanted to do the Penguin Waddle.  He showed up, gave it his all and came in first for ten year olds, and fourth overall with 10-12 year olds.  He ran fast and then needed his inhaler. . .which I forgot!

And Christmas is officially ten days away. . .no idea how that happened so quickly!

Letter to my Littles: Purpose

My Dearest Littles,

In my early years, life was all about goals and my future.  I was smart, determined to do well, and true to form today, a total rule follower.  God eventually put me and dad in the same path and almost instantly I knew it would be me and him forever.  The phrase, "you will know when you know. . ." took on a whole new meaning when we met.  He wasn't my ideal mate: he had been married before, had a son, and college wasn't on his radar. But somehow those differences brought us even closer together.  Because of his past, he would be in this relationship for the long haul.  I never doubted that.  Still don't.  To be able to trust someone so completely is a gift I treasure. To not have baggage or a crazy history of on again, off again, or cheating was rare considering the relationship I came from.  But here we are, more together today, fifteen years later if that's even possible. We just complement each other.  Always have.  Always will.. . .because we've made a choice to cherish our wedding vows.  We believe in the covenant we made before God, our family, and friends. There is no other option ever than to work it out.  On this we full heartedly agree.

And then I became a mother and my whole world changed.  It exploded in even brighter colors, if that was even be possible!  All those dreams of moving up the ladder in my career, with my two Master's degrees all but evaporated into thin air, the moment I saw Lene Bean's face.  And today I recognize that I may have squandered some minutes, which turned into hours, which turned into days, which may have even turned into months. . .but I found my true purpose in this lifetime: raising you.  Everything that I had accomplished up to this point was note worthy, but my real fulfillment would be in raising you.

We had to determine that you would know our God.  We made a conscious decision to take you to church even though those days were tough and we would leave weary, but yet we kept going.  We still do. Because we realized:
4Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,
         So are the children of one’s youth.

5How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;
         They will not be ashamed
         When they speak with their enemies in the gate.--Psalm 127:4

Unbeknownst to us, our arrows would be many:  Little, Lene, Jonathan, Janessa, and eventually Anthony.  Our job? Simply to raise you right, the best way we know how. We were tasked to send our arrows out into this world to bring forth light, to love like He first loved us.  

We don't want you to look at the fragmented pieces of your family tree but instead focus on the roots we have planted here in this home and in your hearts:

"Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."--Colossians 2:7

Our purpose is simply for you to know the Lord and to raise you to want to do His work.  This is such a huge responsibility in the broken world we live in.  Even bigger sometimes by the brokenness you've encountered in your own family relationships.  But here we are. . .all of us together.  All of us with the same beliefs, the same love for our Lord who laid down His life so that we might live, and live abundantly!  And at the end of my life. . .I (will) have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.--3John 1:4

Love you always & forever,

Mom

Always looking for the love letter: Nessa found a heart on her palm during finger painting

Letters to my Littles: Sibling Love

My Dearest Love Bugs,

If there is one thing I could guarantee, it would be that you would always be friends with your siblings. Although siblings grow up in the same household, it is astonishing how different each one may grow up to be. I hope that you always recognize there are more similarities than differences.  I hope that you like each other enough to choose to be friends for the rest of your life.

I have often said to you, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." But my prayer is that the choice to be a friend to your family is your intention. I can encourage it.  I can help you to develop it through shared experiences. And I can model it with my own brothers.  You learn by watching me. I know this, but it doesn't make the act of intentionally being a friend to your sibling any easier at times.

As an adult, a sibling does not have the same role he did as a child.  Time continues to pass, and differences continue to exist, but it is through the handling of these differences where your character can shine.  It's being true to who God asks you to be.  It's loving the person, because sometimes that's all you can do.  It's letting go of the expectation and the dream and embracing the fact that the relationship is still here, regardless of it being different from what you wished.  It's ceasing the moments that you're together, and accepting the realization that sometimes the gap is too big, the chasm too deep, the personalities and lifestyles too different to be anything other than what it is.  And that's okay, loves.  As long as you love, as long as you put your family first, God will take care of the details.  Trust this.

Is my prayer for you to have an even better relationship than I have with my brothers?  Yes.  I believe every parent wants more for their kids than they had.  Can I make that happen?  No.  As adults you will make choices to build, or choices to tear down.  Of course, I would prefer the first option, but it will be your lives to live.  For now, my role as mom, is simply to instill the value of family, to love you all, to encourage you to build your own relationship: meaningful ones.  I'm doing my best, and just always asking you to do the same.

Love you always and forever,


Mom

Summer Storm

It's not often that a summer storm rolls into California.  With the drought in full effect, we thanked God for the blessing of the wet weather.  I was even more happy, that it was clear for church and then sneaked back in later in the day.  We were missing daddy who was working hard in the areas that were most effected by the downpours...but again, thankful he's home safe and sound and able to tuck the little ones in bed.

Saturday's Storm. . .

Rain Testing during Sunday's Storm

Sewer Stroll

Before the storm rolled in again. . .

Lat Night Snuggles with my Snugbug

A wet, weary, humid weekend. . .but perfect for reading and relaxing!

Friday's Five

1.  School is officially out!  Bring on the summer days!

 2.  Promotion for this guy.  High school years are upon us.  Wow.  Just wow!

3.  This handsome boy got braces.  He looks so much older to me.  He is so much older, ten. Fifth grade in the fall.  Time does not stand still for any one.

 4.  This one enjoyed her first full week of summer by sleeping in. . .our bed of course, but she savored the slower mornings, and truth be told: so did I.

5.  All of the kids did well this year: this guy received an award in reading and perfect attendance.  Anthony made honor roll, so did Lene with straight A's.  I'm very pleased with their effort, their achievements, but mostly their attitudes and the kindness they have shown to others.  Now if only, they could keep it coming to each other!

Convictions in a Crazy World

“In the absence of Biblical convictions, people go the way of culture.”--Sally Clarkson

Navigating against the tide of middle school influences is an ebb and flow of conversations, criticisms, and critiques.  I sit here and think there are so many things working against us each day: television, film, technology, books, and even friends and family.  It has often been lonely this year to stand for what we believe is right. If it hadn't been for all of us in this household, standing together, I may have wavered. There have been times we second guessed allowing a tween to do something they have asked because we're not sure the difference between protective and over-protective.  

I have read more tween literature than I probably did when I was this age. . .to check it out, act as a buffer, decide whether it's too much too soon, because didn't you know?  So and so has already read that!  And it IS in the school library, so it must be age appropriate...  Yeah, right!

This parenting gig is not for the faint of heart...

Being set apart, having high ideals for our children's behavior and character, not wanting to expose them to too much too soon is a battle being waged daily: the radio station they listen to, not being allowed to use social media, allowing some freedoms but with a very limited number of people in which we know their families.  It is HARD!  And trust me when I say, we get tired.  Instructing our kids day in and day out is draining and exhausting!  We yell and get frustrated, but we also have learned to ask for forgiveness and make things right before we go to bed.  It has been such a dance between holding on and letting go, all the while wondering if we have modeled and trained in a love-filled, grace-filled way.  I don't know.  I hope so, but hope is all I have to rely on some days.

I want my kids to further His kingdom.  I want them to desire to serve Him, to find their passion and use it for good.  I want them to have their own individual relationships with God because it's what they come to want, not because it's all we have ever wanted for them.  I think some people say they want their kids to love God and do good, but then they don't do the necessary work to instill excellent character traits in them.  Kids need to learn it at home first because so much of the world is working to undo their convictions.  There is a battle being waged on our children's hearts and we must fight for them.  We must protect them from too much too soon.  We must teach them what it means to be humble, trustworthy, honest, and faithful.  Our actions, our words, our ways are constantly ushering the way into who they will become. And even if we do all things right, there is no guarantee they will walk the road we would like them to, being the type of people we had trained them to be, living a life of service that we had hoped for them.  And in those instances, we pray God uses it all for His good and we hold on to hope.  

This raising of kingdom kids in a world that is so dark and full of trouble is hard.  But God's call on our lives as parents, is to be in it for the long haul--to do the work we were sent here to do.  It is our responsibility to turn away from contemporary culture's allure to live a life filled with honor, service, love, kindness, and respect.  My prayer for my children is that they will hold tight to their biblical convictions and take a stand to be who God created them to be in a culture that is screaming something different. 

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."--John 16:33

Raising Kingdom Kids

Kingdom kids are raised into that heritage not born into it. People are sinful, our children are no different. What we have chosen to do differently is to direct or guide them using biblical principles, getting at the heart of the matter versus just squashing it.  And truth be told, we don't always get that right.  We end a lot of days apologizing to them for our mess ups.

"Who you are at home is who you really are," is a phrase I say often to the kids.  It's a phrase I need to hear aloud too as I'm barking out orders, too impatient to listen to an explanation, or too busy to bother to really hear. Raising kingdom kids is an idea of sorts for our kids to shine His light, to glorify Him with their life's work. . .whatever that might be.

Kingdom kids is a phrase I heard somewhere.  It's an ideal I hope to bring honor to.  It's not something that is just going to happen day in and day out twenty-four hours a day.  They are kids.  They will make mistakes and hopefully learn from them.  They will be faithful stewards of their life while they live under our roof, but that doesn't guarantee they won't fall away.  Raising kingdom kids has become my ministry.  The ministry that I hold most near and dear to my heart because my children are my legacy.  I must invest wisely.

Write Your Own Story

Last night's screening of Confessions of a Prodigal Son was a success I don't think our Lene Bean will soon forget (the cheers when she came on the screen warmed my heart).  What an incredible project to have been a part of and what an even greater message to behold. Truth be told, there were parts that E and I grasped hands tightly and tears might have come. The scene we were in came and went quickly but the overall feeling that came with being a part of this production, in supporting it, in promoting it, in viewing it with friends and family was a moment I hope our kids always remember.  Raising kingdom kids in today's saturated world is an everyday struggle, filled with blessed moments of incredible joy like this.

Surrounding ourselves with Godly people, good examples of people following their faith, leaning into the Lord and fully trusting Him: His timing, His ways. . .all of it is hard.  As I suppose it should be.  But the part I am coming to realize is that it may be difficult, but it is not impossible. . .Jonathan's life verse shouts from the recesses of my mind, "I can do all things with God who gives me strength."  And I suppose the story we are telling is part of our ministry.  We have to be wise in telling it and remember the world is watching us, many of whom are just waiting for us to fail: to react badly, to not forgive and bear grudges, to judge .  Often times we might misstep but the opportunity to do it better or correctly is right there for the taking.

Last night around the dinner table with the writer/lead actors in the movie, we talked about stepping out in faith and pursuing the passion God puts on our hearts and I was struck with something that can only be described as awe.  It is important for E and I to be vigilant and to instruct and teach our kids the ways of the Lord, but it is up to each of our children to develop their own personal relationship with God.  These two, whom we sat across from, are such faith filled followers of dreams. Together, these two believe in what they say, reject roles that don't shine His light, and write scripts and stories to positively impact and influence others.  I want to be like them when I grow up. . .and that's exactly how the kids felt when we left dinner too.  These influential voices are the ones I need speaking into my children's lives, and we need to keep seeking opportunities that facilitate these encounters.

If you have ever loved someone who has made choices you don't particularly agree with or who has seemed to turn their back on the Lord. . .take hope in this truth: But now, this is what the Lord says—he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name, you are mine." (Isaiah 43:1)  This movie has a message for everyone.  It belongs in your home library. It's available all over the place and I really think you should buy a copy, not because we were in it, but because the choices we make are the stories we tell.  Choose to tell the story that glorifies God and shines His light.  Be hopeful.  Know God's love.  Feel God's love and know no matter what you have done, He wants you to come home.

Wednesday Wishes. . .

Wednesdays are for making wishes. . .

“May Light always surround you;
Hope kindle and rebound you.
May your Hurts turn to Healing;
Your Heart embrace Feeling.
May Wounds become Wisdom;
Every Kindness a Prism.
May Laughter infect you;
Your Passion resurrect you.
May Goodness inspire 
your Deepest Desires.
Through all that you Reach For, 
May your arms Never Tire.” 
― D. Simone

Weekend Wandering. . .

I love when God knows just what you need.  After a pretty disastrous Thursday, Friday was followed up with some great girl time with two friends I don't have enough time with.  We headed to one of their churches for a Her Night Out with a special performance by CeeCee Winans.  She had us on our feet, praising God in our loudest voices.  Listening to her was pure JOY! The message was given by a woman who I hadn't heard of before, Julia Veach, She spoke of her faith, her struggles, and I was just reminded to surrender.  It has been in times that I've surrendered total situations to God, that I have seen His hands busy at work.  I'm not sure why I let that thought get away, but I'm thankful God found a way to get me to hear it again.

Saturday morning, Lene played her last volleyball game.  She did so well and had such a fun time this season. She was a lot less nervous about returning the ball and most of the time she can serve it over the net.  Her Pink Gummy Spikers had a great season full of many wins, but I like best that she enjoyed the game and wants to play again.  That means the most to me.

Saturday afternoon we got out of town and headed to Newport for a date night.  I didn't even realize that it was the last day of the month--so glad we squeezed it in!

Date #2 of 15 in 2015

We ate at Maestros.  The food was amazing!  The view was beautiful and the rain stayed at bay so I got to enjoy all of it!

Somehow during the course of our date night, after talking about what we both wanted to do for our birthdays this year since we are turning forty, we decided a trip would be in our future.  So we booked Maui.  That is a little crazy for me, especially considering the kids will be only two weeks into the start of a new school year then, but the tickets were priced right so we're going.  I'll get nervous about it later.  For now, it's fun to be planning this trip simultaneously as our Spring Break trip.  Big problems, I know.

Sunday we went to church with the whole family.  I just have to smile when I look at my girl's eclectic styles.  If only Ernie had let Nessa wear the fancy dress with her jeans that she had on originally.  That was really something!  Since my Sunday dinner idea didn't pan out with the big family, we decided to do what we do best: focus on what happens within our walls and have our own Sunday family dinners.  Let me tell you this, it is so refreshing not to be waiting on anyone else, not to deal with last minute cancellations, no drama.  Our family dinner focuses on the lives of those we directly influence and impact: our kids.  It is a beautiful thing to create your own traditions when extended family fails you.  It further cements the understanding that who lives under this roof matters most.  It causes us to stress the importance of loving your brother and sisters, creating nurturing relationships that last.  Serving each other out of love is something I strive to show them.

I love Joshua 24:15
15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."  

There really is no other way to live.  We won't compromise on this one.  And we can love one another and not love the way they are living.  Psalm 127:3-5 says, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

We are training our arrows to be Kingdom Kids, to be set apart, to be in the world, but not of the world. This role as parents is the most important calling on our life.  This weekend was a good one. . .filled with JOY and quality time with the ones I love most.

Friday's Focus

Focusing on the positive. . .good vibes only.

Dare to Live Your Life

Dare To Life Your Life

"If you long to live a life of excellence,                                                                         

overflowing with love and perpetual happiness,                                                                                                              

do so boldly, bravely and enthusiastically!                                                

Be tenacious in your endeavor.                                                                                

Face down your fears and be set free!                                                                                  

Dare to live your life...                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

If you long to live an extraordinary life,       

purposeful, passionate and blessed beyond measure.     

Live selflessly,                                                                                                                     

Love unconditionally.                                                                                                    

Laugh loud and often.                                                                                                                

Learn to see the beauty in the simple things of life.                                              

Dare to live your life...

If you hope to live your life to its fullest potential                                                            

Walk with the Spirit,                                                                                                             

Live by the Word.                                                                                                                             

Be an inspiration!                                                                                                                             

A living example of goodness and gentleness                                                                          

all the days of your life...                                                                                               

Dare to live your Life...              

Dare to love your life...

                            John S.  2014

This poem was written by my dad, your grandpa. Let it always serve as a reminder of how I hope you will live. In raising Kingdom Kids, my prayer is that you will always seek God's will for your life, live it boldly, loudly, wildly and without fear. You were created for such a time as this! Dare to LIVE your life!