Letters to my Littles: Sibling Love

My Dearest Love Bugs,

If there is one thing I could guarantee, it would be that you would always be friends with your siblings. Although siblings grow up in the same household, it is astonishing how different each one may grow up to be. I hope that you always recognize there are more similarities than differences.  I hope that you like each other enough to choose to be friends for the rest of your life.

I have often said to you, "You can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family." But my prayer is that the choice to be a friend to your family is your intention. I can encourage it.  I can help you to develop it through shared experiences. And I can model it with my own brothers.  You learn by watching me. I know this, but it doesn't make the act of intentionally being a friend to your sibling any easier at times.

As an adult, a sibling does not have the same role he did as a child.  Time continues to pass, and differences continue to exist, but it is through the handling of these differences where your character can shine.  It's being true to who God asks you to be.  It's loving the person, because sometimes that's all you can do.  It's letting go of the expectation and the dream and embracing the fact that the relationship is still here, regardless of it being different from what you wished.  It's ceasing the moments that you're together, and accepting the realization that sometimes the gap is too big, the chasm too deep, the personalities and lifestyles too different to be anything other than what it is.  And that's okay, loves.  As long as you love, as long as you put your family first, God will take care of the details.  Trust this.

Is my prayer for you to have an even better relationship than I have with my brothers?  Yes.  I believe every parent wants more for their kids than they had.  Can I make that happen?  No.  As adults you will make choices to build, or choices to tear down.  Of course, I would prefer the first option, but it will be your lives to live.  For now, my role as mom, is simply to instill the value of family, to love you all, to encourage you to build your own relationship: meaningful ones.  I'm doing my best, and just always asking you to do the same.

Love you always and forever,


Mom