Suddenly September

How has the summer already come and gone? How is it that 2018 is more than half way done? Is it really the older we get, the faster time flies? It sure as heck feels that way to me!
If I were to write all the craziness that has occurred during the past several months, you would tire easily of all the ups and downs. I tire easily just thinking about them. But while everything around me has changed, the one thing that remains the same is simply my conviction in the importance of family and focusing on life within your own four walls.

There were many times this year we stumbled. Words were said, crisis averted, marriages destroyed, scholarly stress getting the best of us, self doubt creeped in, past hurts revisited, new life bursting forth, and so much more. We entered the world of the foster care system. We journey to court regularly and participate in our legal system. We meet with social worker after social worker after social worker, and then attorneys, and investigators, and then outside agencies all to keep our family intact, as it has been for the past four years.

In the middle of that tsunami, my personal life felt like it was falling apart. Hell, I practically was falling apart. And for what? What did one ounce of that worry, anxiety, or saddness gain me? Nothing! It never does. All I can think of right now, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

Each of our days surely had enough trouble of its own. And even while the storm seems to have settled for the most part, there is still plenty of clean up from the storm to do. There's still some ugly weather forecast for the future by way of. . .nothing will ever be perfect. There is always something. Always. So, what do I choose to do in the meantime?  

Pray for the needs of others, but don't get buried in the burden of the petition. I can pray. God can fix. Also,  I work out. This has become a consatnt in the last two years. I feel better, because I've put my health first and I still have some goals to crush. I try to contemplate the cross when I am overcome with anxiety, or saddness or just the aftermath of a chaotic life. Three teenagers. Three. Sigh. With driving being a part of nearly all coversations, college apps, senior projects, AP courses, soccer paractices, my three very part time jobs, but jobs nonetheless. . .equals a tired mama on most days. But God. He sees, He knows, and He is there every step of the way so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and focus on a grateful heart for this life I am priviliged to live.

End of the School Year Festivities

 It's hard to get so behind in my blogging.  These posts are my yearly photo album and with our smart phone cameras, capturing every little thing--I became overwhelmed with the documenting part.  So in a nutshell, these pictures all took place end of May 2017 to first days of summer in June. After a very rocky start for our Nessa Bessa, first grade ended successfully. She loved her teacher and she did well academically. This little girl has  heart for kindness, seeking out the lonely and bringing people together.

 These eighth grade girls are growing up into beautiful young ladies. It's so weird to drop them off and let them test out their independence slowly but surely. Giving them wings to fly but wanting them tethered close at the same time...awe, motherhood. Sweet, sweet motherhood!

 I finally got to go back to the horse races for a date day. What a nostalgic trip. It reminded me so much of the days there with my grandparents! Everything was more expensive, and gone was the day of betting with someone else's money...but for a second, I remembered that childhood joy that the horse races brought me.

 Memorial Day Ernie worked, but his side of the family planned a big barbecue at the beach. It was a lot of fun for the kids.  I loved watching them play catch and build sand castles with their cousins that they do not see nearly enough.

 Field trips were fun this year. I got to be a chaperone at every single one. I will always remember these days. Staying home and having the opportunity to be a part of my kids' lives has been life changing. This is and always would have been enough.

 International Day was an awesome compilation of dances all over the world. Our little hula dancer was my favorite!

 We went with our framily to Universal Studios.  It had been years for me!  This was another fun firsts with the not so little kids. Outings like this are so much easier now that they are grown--more expensive, but easier.

 Anthony was confirmed and made his first communion.  Ernie was his sponsor. So very proud of his commitmment to the Lord and living with integrity.  God has gifted us his presence in this home the last 4 years. Hard to believe college is looming in the near distance. . .

 And our beautiful Lene Bean is off to high school. Middle school was a breeze until a friend hiccup this year, but she handled herself with grace and was kind anyways. I am so proud of her heart and can't wait to see her amazing accomplishments in high school!

 Godly and gifted. That's our girl!

 Proud Parents

Summer months are here. Bring on the fun!

Kindergarten Cutie

Janessa, I never want to forget the way you flourished this year with your teacher, "Gorgeous, Brainy One."

 Your kind heart made so many friends!  Your amazing brain learned so much and you worked so hard!

There was so much to see and do each day.  You loved school. I love that you loved it so much!

 I can't wait for our field trip to the zoo!  We are going to have so much fun!

 Your clay frog was super cute. Your bee was pretty bee-autiful too!

 I have a thing for fireflies, and I'm excited you do too now.

The thank you bulletin board for the volunteers was the cutest I have ever seen!  I should be thanking you, your teacher, and the class!  My Tuesday mornings were the best days of the week!  I loved being in the lab with you, reading stories, and testing you for AR.  The pleasure has been all mine!

I guess it wouldn't shock anyone that I had to get a grip and hold it together because I really wanted to bawl my eyes out.  For years we have visited the kindergarten classrooms to see what was going on and to prepare for your first year in school.  Now here we are.  It's almost over and you thrived.  I never needed to worry about you in school.  It was me all along that had to come to terms with my baby growing up.  And you are, baby bird.  Yes, you are!

This and That

I know I haven't finished with Hawaii yet, but life has been moving at warp speed.  So much good stuff happening around here!

 Little bought a fifth wheel and is working in Ventura right now.  His trailer is so nice!  I'm so proud of him and how hard he has worked to make a name for himself in his trade.  He is just like his dad.

 Ernie is still out of work due to his injury. I can not complain. It looks like surgery isn't necessary since the muscle tore away from the tendon, not the bone. . .according to the mri.  Looks like he won't be in surgery on my 40th birthday, after all!  I found him practicing the guitar last week.

 I also found him taking a nap.

 This one lost another tooth and dresses herself now!

 Three times a week, I've been getting back in the hang of running.  This is my best time so far.  I keep debating about a 5k in Temecula at the end of the month.  I should just pull the trigger and do it, if nothing else but to end the race with a glass of wine waiting for me!

 This kid ran for Vice President at his school.  He got it.  There was nothing I was more proud of than the way he got up early and wrote out some verses about winning and losing.  He had the right attitude and the speech he wrote on his own, with a "Just do it" at the end was pretty great too!  His Nina went out and made sure he had a cross to wear.  Grandma provided the scapular.  We provided the shark tooth.

He is turning into quite the young man.  Hard to believe that this is the last year of elementary school for him. It is hitting me, that he too is growing up and coming into his own.  

After viewing the movie "War Room" with a couple of my faith filled friends, who I cherish our time together so, Ernie helped me to create my own little room to focus in prayer.  I love it, even if Janessa told me we have to share "her personal space."  She cracks me up!

We were able to squeeze in a play date with Sarah.  It actually was a cooking afternoon.  The blueberry muffins were a crowd favorite, but the apple cake was a hit with the big kids, so. . . 

That's all for now--a whole lot of this and that, but definitely things I want to remember because the days have suddenly become shorter with everyone in school.  There is so much to be done, but right now I'm making myself enjoy this alone time with Big E.  It's like this huge gift right before I leave the decade which were my 30's. . .and into the hopeful unknown of my 40's. Life is good. Live it well.

School is Back in Session. . .

And I'm not really sure what I think about it yet.  After tonight, all we will have left is one more Back to School Night to get a grip on this whole high school thing.  The routine hasn't been too hard to get re-acquainted with.  It's the me here in this house alone that boggles my mind.

The first day of school E took off work to walk all the kids to school.  I thought there might be tears.  There weren't.  Grandparents and Godparents thoroughly surprised us on a quick visit on their way to the airport for a ten day vacation.  Seeing them helped my heart.  Nessa's nino came by with an offering of donuts and chocolate milk that was met with hugs and more pictures.

My last little was heading off to school and I was sad but determined to be strong so she didn't have any issues.  And she didn't.  We took some pictures, said good-bye and were on our way.  It was so strange!

 We celebrated a successful, short day with sushi, of course.

Then we went to visit papa, at his new home while his caregivers vacation.

He was pretty happy to see us and tell us about the ladies who are giving him all kinds of attention! Janessa included.

And the week has been a blur of supplies and letters and schedules. . .it's a lot to keep track of with 4 kids at 3 different schools, but I think I've got it.  Nothing is going to feel "real" until a long awaited vacation happens and my writing classes begins.  I have added another class to teach  and I'm really  looking forward to it.  It's just the strangest week with everyone in school.  The house has not been this clean in a long time. . .and it has only been three days!  We're talking windows!

Walking to school with her bff makes the day off to an even better start! 

Day 2, on my first day home alone, I came upstairs with laundry and poor little lambie, was just sitting on the floor waiting for Janessa's return.  It was the saddest sight.  I couldn't decide who was missing her more. . .

There has been plenty of time for afternoon swims. . .and it sure has been hot enough to demand our attention!

Four days in and this one was uncooperative in the picture department.  She also asked when it was a day off.  School is tough to get used to, but thankfully all of the kids have adjusted well and seem to like their teachers.  This year is going to be full.  I've already met with the school counselor to get our Character Ed program off the ground on the 31st.  I have 2 teachers who are eager for weekly help, plus my MOMS group at church. . .schedules fill up but with the things that matter most to me.  This is a dream come true. My dream.  I feel so incredibly blessed and want to always remember these days.

Friday's Five

1.  School is officially out!  Bring on the summer days!

 2.  Promotion for this guy.  High school years are upon us.  Wow.  Just wow!

3.  This handsome boy got braces.  He looks so much older to me.  He is so much older, ten. Fifth grade in the fall.  Time does not stand still for any one.

 4.  This one enjoyed her first full week of summer by sleeping in. . .our bed of course, but she savored the slower mornings, and truth be told: so did I.

5.  All of the kids did well this year: this guy received an award in reading and perfect attendance.  Anthony made honor roll, so did Lene with straight A's.  I'm very pleased with their effort, their achievements, but mostly their attitudes and the kindness they have shown to others.  Now if only, they could keep it coming to each other!