Suddenly September

How has the summer already come and gone? How is it that 2018 is more than half way done? Is it really the older we get, the faster time flies? It sure as heck feels that way to me!
If I were to write all the craziness that has occurred during the past several months, you would tire easily of all the ups and downs. I tire easily just thinking about them. But while everything around me has changed, the one thing that remains the same is simply my conviction in the importance of family and focusing on life within your own four walls.

There were many times this year we stumbled. Words were said, crisis averted, marriages destroyed, scholarly stress getting the best of us, self doubt creeped in, past hurts revisited, new life bursting forth, and so much more. We entered the world of the foster care system. We journey to court regularly and participate in our legal system. We meet with social worker after social worker after social worker, and then attorneys, and investigators, and then outside agencies all to keep our family intact, as it has been for the past four years.

In the middle of that tsunami, my personal life felt like it was falling apart. Hell, I practically was falling apart. And for what? What did one ounce of that worry, anxiety, or saddness gain me? Nothing! It never does. All I can think of right now, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." 

Each of our days surely had enough trouble of its own. And even while the storm seems to have settled for the most part, there is still plenty of clean up from the storm to do. There's still some ugly weather forecast for the future by way of. . .nothing will ever be perfect. There is always something. Always. So, what do I choose to do in the meantime?  

Pray for the needs of others, but don't get buried in the burden of the petition. I can pray. God can fix. Also,  I work out. This has become a consatnt in the last two years. I feel better, because I've put my health first and I still have some goals to crush. I try to contemplate the cross when I am overcome with anxiety, or saddness or just the aftermath of a chaotic life. Three teenagers. Three. Sigh. With driving being a part of nearly all coversations, college apps, senior projects, AP courses, soccer paractices, my three very part time jobs, but jobs nonetheless. . .equals a tired mama on most days. But God. He sees, He knows, and He is there every step of the way so I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and focus on a grateful heart for this life I am priviliged to live.

Shrek

Yes. That's Anjalene.

She's the short one.

She was also a tree.

The Spring production was just as incredible as the Fall one.  Shrek The Musical was so entertaining to watch.  Coming on the heels of their New York trip, it was exciting to be a part of it.  I liked helping backstage with costumes.  I never realized how much went into these huge productions.  I am so thankful Lene had this experience, as it was announced this would be the last year 8th graders would have an opportunity to experience Drama in this form.  We fought it by going to District Board Meetings, but the 8th grade Drama program no longer exists, which is very unfortunate for all who could have been impacted by this powerful program.

New York. . .New York

New York with Anjalene's Drama class really was a fantastic experience.  I'm so thankful we never went with Mr. Lewis' group when she was younger.  Seeing it through her teenage eyes with people who she had spent so much time with this year made for a very memorable experience.  One neither of us will soon forget.

Of course when we arrived it was raining!

But that did not stop our need to explore.

She was in her element.  I loved seeing the city through her eyes.  Her dream became a part of mine. 

We had to check out the small bakeries.  My baker girl was wide eyed and happy to sample macarons.

The pizza was as good as she thought it would be.

Charlie and Lene.

The Breakfast Club

Our tour around the harbor.

Mommy daughter memory. New York City Skyscape. Spring Break 2017

Sephora. Because, make up.

Her first ride on city transportaion.  I believe she kept that smile all week.

It's a beautiful feeling to offer your children glimpses of their dream.  Seed planted.  What will become of it?

The Statue of Liberty

A night out on Broadway.

Group shot.

For Grandma

For Grandpa

My view from Central Park

Ice skating in Central Park

Hello Dolly on Broadway. Bette Midler was AH-MAZING!

When life gets unclear and chaotic. . .I'm here for you Lene Bean. We will always have New York.

Late night in the city.

Best cheescake in town.

Live from the Apollo!!!

On stage at the Apollo Theater.

Touching the tree stump so many famous performers have touched before performing on stage at the Apollo.

The Met.

A very rare moment of free time.

Because she will always be part of our story.

St. Patrick's Cathedral, NYC

Walking back from Rockelefller Center.  In the rain, of course.

Out exploring the neighborhood and look what we found!

2016-2017 Drama Class RMS

Show time

There is always hope!

Just another day walking though Town Square.

My roomies Angela and Darlene

Hustle and Bustle with Charlie and Lene

New York for spring break of Anjalene's eighth grade year was one I believe we will both remember for a lifetime.  Our days were jam packed with sight seeing, acting classes, and Broadway shows.  It was so much more than I ever imagined it would be, so I am sure it exceeded Anjalene's expectations.

On Broadway we saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Anastasia, Wicked, and Hello Dolly.  I was particularly fond of Hello Dolly because of Bette Midler's stellar performance.  Anjalene's favorite was Wicked.  The Harbor Cruise was awesome.  Seeing the Statue of Liberty and  Brooklyn Bridge, plus hearing all of the history was an interesting adventure.  Ground Zero was a somber experience.  On our way there, I looked up in the sky and saw a rainbow, a visible reminder of God's promise.  Despite the tragedies endured on 9/11, God promises us a life with Him.  There will be no terror there, only love. We will never forget.

 Another moment in NYC that stands out is when I thought a guy had seriously injured himself on the ice.  I wasn't the only one.  His poor girlfriend was getting frantic because he wasn't moving!! The ice skating officials slowly made their way over, and I was seriously ready to call 911 because it was scary, but then. . .

He asked her to marry him!!!  Whoever told him this was a romantic way to do it, was wrong.  However, I'm sure she will always remember it.  We all will.  We clapped and cheered and some might have even cried. Not mentioning any names. . .Anjalene!

All in all, besides one night of room mate drama with the teens, this trip was fanstastic.  I am so appreciative of the drama teacher pursuing it, even after the school would no longer recognize it.  These kids worked very hard on their shows this year, and this truly was the icing on the cake.  And the sighting of Gilles Marini, from Sex and the City, on our plane applauding our drama kids was a pretty nice ending too.

Choir Charisma

Recently our home has been busting at the seams with life.  There was a house we were interested in that we put a bid on. . .but God told us to stay put, so we will listen.
First things first, someone got her braces off. . .

 Gone is the little nine-year-old who went in looking like this:

Her first request: corn on the cob, so we happily obliged.

With Summer right around the corner, it seems activities have been consuming our life.  The most recent one was Lene's choir performance.  Its theme was "British Invasion."  Notice  her brace-less smile?  She had yet to get her retainer.  Loved snapping a picture with her elementary school friends.  It is hard to believe we are facing our last year of middle school in the Fall.  Time stops for no one, I tell you!

 She had quite the crowd to cheer her on.  It was my favorite concert to date, actually.

 Lene really wanted her Grandpa to be there, so we were happy he joined us this time.  The sixties evokes all things "grandpa-ish" in her mind.  It's cute.

 Our baby is almost a teenager.  We find this absolutely mind boggling.  Such the natural order of life, but still it feels like it happens so suddenly.  Those days were so long, but the years have been so stinkin' short!

Lene is a wonderful, doting cousin to baby girl.  I love to see her interact with her and to watch the way she watches her with such an endearing, gentle love.  This weekend she takes her big babysitting class at a local hospital.  She has waited months to get this class under her belt, but with Spring volleyball it had to wait until now.  I think it's great that it's her first free weekend since January and she insisted on being at the class.  She really is growing up.

I have to admit, I got teary-eyed a few times in the performance. The kind of tears that if I blinked, they would flow!  I'm not sure if it was the music choice, or watching my girl in action, singing her heart out, using God's gift.  Today she finds out if she makes another elite choir for next year.  She faced her fears of auditioning in front of everyone and she did it. Whether or not she makes it in is beside the point. . .knowing she gave it her all and was brave about it is what matters most in this household.  Besides, next year is the year she has been waiting for--a real live chance to be in Drama.  She auditioned and made it and that has been her passion for such a long time, I'm thrilled to see it come to fruition for her.  I have a feeling there will be more tears in my future as I face the inevitable: children grow up.  They turn into their own people and at some point, you have to just know you did the best you could and God will take care of the rest.

My baby bird is taking flight.  She's starting to soar.  And that fills me with an inexplicable joy and breaks my heart all in the same moment.  She's growing up.