Wrapping It Up

With the end of the year, comes another photo book for my shelf.  I've neglected my Canon for far too long and really need to get back in the swing of using it to capture our real moments.  My phone is more compact and handy, but the quality is not the same.

The year ended with a great cooked meal, some visits from Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle, Bianca, and the baby.  The girls and I snuck away to celebrate with my best friend, Auntie Val for a little bit.

Grandma and her youngest girl

Bubba and Monroe

Did some dreaming with E while the meat smoked.

I prefer to be home on New Year's.  This year I had agreed to a desert trip, but a series of unfortunate events changed those plans and I didn't mind one bit.

New Year's Day dawned with gorgeous weather, so we decided to head outside and explore.

There were SO many deer!

It's neat that we are at a point where everyone can walk and hold their own things, and not complain too much.  We finished the hike with some Subway and football.

Later mom came by with some home made sandwiches, so we toasted the New Year together.

The next day we decided to explore a little more and took the Polaris out.  It was cold but everyone had a really good time, and that made me happy.  I might not be the most adventurous one in the group, but I do all right getting out there and having fun. . .eventually.

 There are just some things that I don't do well, and adventure in the outdoors is one of them.  However, that being said, I have a really good feeling about 2016.  With the kids being older, it is easier to get up and go.  I think we've become more balanced and are used to the addition of a fourth kid. I am softening up and easing up on my own idea of perfection and just trying to enjoy the moment, hands free, face to face, and with real live connection to the people I love most.

Part of 2015 was incredibly lonely for me.  I missed the relationship I had with my youngest brother, but God answers prayers.  I have never seen more answered than this year.  It fills my heart with joy (my word for 2015) that such beauty rose from ashes.  Through it all, joy always remained, I just had to look a little deeper.  The best parts of 2015 remain the cherished memories I have with my family...those in my four walls.  These moments were rich, deep, full, chaotic, simple, and oh so sweet.  I do not take this job of being home with them for granted.  I am so excited to see what the future holds for all of us: )  Happy New Year!

Dear Birthday Boy

Dearest Bubba,

It has been a strange week leading up to your entry into double digits.  You literally blew me away last week at your track meet. Five races, where you ran your way to first place status each time, gave me pause.  Where is my little boy?  How have those legs carried you so far away from the pack in the race and why are they leading the way to this next decade of your life?  Time is cruel.  It is a race I was never prepared for, and it keeps going, so here I am saying, "Happy 10th Birthday, Son."

Bubs, I recently saw, of all things, a tatoo that stated a truth I want you to learn young. . ."Change is the only constant." And this has definitely been a year full of changes for you, our family, our household.  Of all my children, you are the one who struggles with any kind of change the most; therefore, I know this year has not been easy.  I know you've struggled with disappointments from people you love.  I know what a soft heart you have and that it hurts easily.  I also know some of the bruising has probably come from me in moments where my harsh tone or words did not fit the offense.  And as I have already told you far too many times this year, I am truly sorry.

I forgot how it feels to be on the verge of growing up. I never had to share my room with anyone.  I never had to share my parents with anyone.  I never watched that dance and now daddy and I dance it daily and son, it is hard.  We make many mistakes, of this I know for sure.  But you are not a mistake.  You were born to be ours.  You were born with a heart of compassion and eyes for justice.  You have stepped out and shown who you are becoming.  I know your life verse is Philippians 4:13  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength," but son, the Lord has been placing a new verse on my heart and He is showing me that it is just for you as we enter a new decade of your life:  "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."--Micah 6:8

There is something about who you are that my mama heart just knows has to pray for the wonderful things you will do for His kingdom over time.  Raising a Kingdom Kid with eyes like you have, who seeks out the broken, voices concern for people afraid to speak, and who can win races and know that it was not of your ability but because of God's given gift to you--all those qualities make for a kid who is already in tune with God's call on his life and totally open to the possibilities of his future! And to think, we have the privilege and joy to call you son!

From leadership to track to Pokemon cards. . .this year has been full of new opportunities to grow you.  I still remember that first week of school when I told you I just couldn't sit and help you with every detail of your homework.  I mean, you were in 4th grade!  From that day forward, you came in and did what needed to be done, only asking me for help on occasion.  Amazing what you can accomplish when you're pushed outside your comfort zone a little.  Hot lunch on Thursdays, Character Counts blue, College shirt day, Leadership shirt day--I watch the week fly by by the shirt you wear.  But I am so proud that you put yourself out there this year and tried new things!

I loved our desert trip to the mine, and the flowers you still gather for me.  I love your laugh and smile.  Your eyes can see into my soul.  They undo me in the best possible way because I know you get it. . .ALL of it! You see the good before the bad and I love that about you.  You've been the man of the house checking doors and lights when dad has to work and I have thoroughly enjoyed our Frisbee afternoons at the park.  Actually, I'm ready for summer nights that we can play!  I don't even mind that you beat me in steps every day.  I am four times as old as you, and not nearly as good at dropping everything to just run and play!  I really do need to work on that!  

I am so excited to see what the Lord has planned for your life.  You are such a gift to me, son.  I love you forever and ever to the moon and back times a thousand million zillion. . .until the end of time!

I hope your day and your ten-year-old adventure is memorable.  I can't wait to hear all about it!

All my love always,

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mom

Happy New Years!

 We visited the Rose Parade for the very first time. . . well the after math of the parade to view the floats!  It was SO beautiful--my dad says I've been there before, but I truly can not remember!!

 Our New Year's Eve was quiet.  Plans to travel were thwarted by rain.  But that's okay, visits from loved ones, games, movies, goal setting and celebrating was plenty!

Nessa and Nina

Goal setting

The movie Annie with the cousins

She's got her own style

Plenty of relaxing took place too

At the end of the year, all I  can say is that it was good to us.  Life is full and busy and good.  I never would have thought we would be where we are: me homeschooling, quitting my job, taking guardianship, dealing with aging sick parents, living, laughing, loving.  I think the focus on family grew me this year.  I found myself...and me here with them is enough.

So Much Goodness

The weeks leading up to Christmas were slower and more deliberate than usual; however, they still passed way too quickly but were filled with too much goodness not to share.  I always get giddy with excitement at the end of the year as the fruits of my labor here on to blog will soon take shape into our pretty hard bound book full of captured moments and memories from our year.  Hard to believe it is time for that already!

Lene and I headed out for some girl time at Cocoa and Cupcakes, a Christmas celebration that takes place at our friend's church.  As excited as I was originally to go, it happened to be raining and getting there proved more challenging than I thought.  In addition, if I'm being real, Lene and I got into an argument as I was disappointed with her lack of effort into getting ready for our night out together.  It is such a catch 22--I know I am blessed that she is not overly interested in fashion and fitting in with her middle school peers, but sometimes I wish she would take more initiative and not fight me on dressing up from time to time, letting her beautiful curls down, and dare I say, ""be more girly?"  That comment may come back to haunt me int the future, I'm sure, but this particular night was hard.  And then we got there and were so blessed by the speaker, by the message--by the reminder of Christ coming to earth for us.  It turned out to be a great night and I'm glad I didn't let the devil steal my joy.

This little one loved hearing the ringing bells of the Salvation Army and enjoyed putting spare change in their bucket.  Once outside Sam's she was even able to ring the bell herself.

 My book club celebrated Christmas with a potluck brunch and a few of our favorite things. So much fun! And so many cute favorite things!

My Mom's group at church had a beautiful book club discussion followed by a gift exchange, feast, and a beautiful chorus of Happy Birthday to Jesus!  Such a blessing to be a part of!

One Tuesday morning, we followed the third graders across the street down to the church on the corner. They have an annual tradition of making candy canes, and they didn't mind us tagging along and calling it a field trip. It fit right in with our book about the Legend of the Candy Cane!  Nessa was able to see her friend and I was able to reconnect with a mom who moved out of state four years ago, but who is now back/.  I love how the Lord led her back and we were able to catch up.  I look forward to more conversation with her in the future.

Another day, we were able to go to a friend's house for a play date and lunch.  Our visit was long overdue and such soul food for me.  It was the kind of catch up session where there were no lulls or silences because it had been so long and so much goodness is happening between our families.  A joy to be a part of and to see Nessa running around playing and having such a good time.  It was a very special blessing this holiday season for me.

In between all this goodness, we still did school and I just felt completely in love with every detail of my life. All of it.

And one Saturday morning we headed to our church to help pass out Christmas baskets and toys for families going through a difficult time.  We went through the line three times.  I can not believe we had never helped out in this way before.  It was love in action and it gave each of the kids a job to do to bless someone else. Their energy and enthusiasm was contagious and I was so grateful that they really seemed to get it. . .how blessed we are and how it's our job to help others.  I do believe this is something we will definitely be a part of again.

And no year is complete without our annual visit to the Living Nativity.  There were some changes to it this year and we dressed warmly, hot cocoa in hands as we walked through and watched each scene unfold. No matter how many times we've heard it, it never seems to lose it's awe factor.  I love that the kid's feel like this is what the Frank family does. It is part of what makes Christmas...Christmas.

We hadn't been to the candy store to watch them make candy canes for a long time, but we thought Anthony might enjoy it so we went.  And it was packed, so we walked down a main street and checked out the nativity scene too.  Then we headed out to dinner.  It was fun!

The night concluded with us driving around town looking for houses that displayed the nativity scenes in their yards.  The kids had carefully colored a dozen different nativity scenes and had written, "Thank you for remembering Jesus is the reason for the season."  They took turns running their pictures up to the doors and leaving them under mats.  We had Christmas music playing and it was so enjoyable to watch them and to hear them plan aloud that next year they need to color even more!

When I look at all of these activities, it feels like we did a lot, but the reality is it was all very focused on Christ's birth and we tried to keep bringing it back to Jesus,  And it felt like they really get it and that just might be the biggest gift to me.

And it is Good

The Christmas season feels so much more intentional this year.  As I near forty, the pause in the rush and hustle of the holiday season feels liberating.  We've said no to things that we simply don't want to do.  We've pared down our traditions to include those that minister or serve others, more so than for the pure joy we bring to ourselves.  This has included Christmas caroling with our church.  Since finding our Moms group there, I love being a part of this tradition with my kids.  I love that they are not afraid of the old.  I love that best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loudly for all to hear!  I love my mom's energy she brings when she shows up.  We are so different in our outgoing personalities, but the heart is the same.

 Saturday, the kids participated in the annual Penguin Waddle at the Fairplex.  It's a fun race to do.  It's free. And Jonathan came in first place for his division.  Totally impressive and a memory he won't soon forget.

Their biggest cheerleader

6:54 mile

Spending the morning, encouraging the kids to use their God-given gift was fun. It was neat to see Jonathan so pumped up from the win.  I don't think he realizes his God-given talent, so we will just gently continue to encourage him and pray he eventually does.  I was very proud of Anjalene too.  My girl belongs on the stage, not the track; however, she has gotten her mile down to about ten minutes which is a huge improvement for her.  She finished this race well and really gave it her all. Anthony sat this one out but he cheered with me and Janessa.

Later we visited a local church for a walk through Bethlehem.  It was such a neat experience, so hands on, so focused on Christ's birth and the real meaning of Christmas.  We all loved the experience and  the kids said they hope we make it a tradition like the living nativity they look forward to.  That made my mama heart so happy.

Learning to weave

She used her schilling to buy Nina a basket

Keeping the focus on Christ has been difficult in years past as we tried to keep up with all that was going on around us.  Wanting the best experiences for our kids, to create meaningful and lasting memories was in the forefront of our intentions; however, I am coming to realize less is truly MORE.  Our kids do not want for anything that they really need.  And in the season leading up to Christmas, there was mindless bickering and squabbling and I was sincerely sick of it.

Then it hit me.  I am part of the problem.  Every time we rushed from this activity to the next, bought what they wanted from their list, made it more about them than the real meaning of Christmas. . .why was I expecting a different result?  It was a no brainer why our devotion around the advent wreath wasn't going the way I envisioned--we had lost our focus.  And I needed to lead us back to it.  So subtly, and ever so gently, with kindness and love, I'm trying to get us back to perhaps a place we've never really even been...the real meaning of Christmas.  We went to a penance service at church.  Just me and the bigs and we needed it.  We needed the car ride there, the priest's words, the time together in the pew.  We needed it to reconnect, to remember, to renew our hearts and minds to be who God intends us to be.  And it is good.

This season may only come once a year,  but it's for that very reason that we can't afford to miss it!  We need to fight for the joy.  We need to bring it back to what it is really all about. . .His birth.  We need to surround our days with plenty of empty white space to feel His presence and to spread His joy.  We do not need to go along with the crowd, when the crowd has it all wrong.  Jesus was born in a stable. Surrounded by his mother and father and a bunch of barnyard animals.  We do not need to be a part of the crowd to celebrate Christmas.  The noise, clutter, and frenzy might just blur your vision so you are missing out on the clear view of God's love for us that he sent us His only son.  Find your place.  Find your peace. Start today.