Writing: Word-less Wednesday

Words are floating around in my mind. . .about nothing, about everything.  Pouring in at warp speed, trickling in slow like molasses.  So much to say but nothing to say at all.  I'm all sorts of contradictions right now.  I remember once, a long, long time ago, my little eight-year-old self dreamed about becoming a writer.  I filled books, large and small with words.  Thoughts scribbled across pages, cursive loops and dotted T's. . .even back then I had stories to tell.

Flash forward to the year I took a writing class. . .the kind I had to mail in manuscripts and they would be returned with comments in the margins and editing galore.  Halfway through the course I realized, I didn't enjoy it.  My stories were stifled.  There was no real life to my words, and the grueling process to publish was disheartening to say the least.  So I silenced myself.  I gave myself permission to quit the one thing I thought I had always wanted to do. . .

And now, I don't care if I begin a sentence with a conjunction.  Punctuation might not follow the strict grammar rules of the academics.  More often than not, I don't even care.  The message is generally from my heart.  The happenings are from my own life; and it doesn't matter to me how it gets to paper; it just matters that it gets there.  There is something so beautiful about going through our blog books and seeing pictures accompanied by words--whatever they say, however, grammatically incorrect they are. It's my story and one that calls to be told.

Words written on paper express the details of our lives.  And our lives are so good because we are alive to live them.  I'm still here in this space. . .words are just floating around in my mind. . . .about nothing, about everything.

Our first outing in the Polaris enjoying God's creation.

And it is Good

The Christmas season feels so much more intentional this year.  As I near forty, the pause in the rush and hustle of the holiday season feels liberating.  We've said no to things that we simply don't want to do.  We've pared down our traditions to include those that minister or serve others, more so than for the pure joy we bring to ourselves.  This has included Christmas caroling with our church.  Since finding our Moms group there, I love being a part of this tradition with my kids.  I love that they are not afraid of the old.  I love that best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loudly for all to hear!  I love my mom's energy she brings when she shows up.  We are so different in our outgoing personalities, but the heart is the same.

 Saturday, the kids participated in the annual Penguin Waddle at the Fairplex.  It's a fun race to do.  It's free. And Jonathan came in first place for his division.  Totally impressive and a memory he won't soon forget.

Their biggest cheerleader

6:54 mile

Spending the morning, encouraging the kids to use their God-given gift was fun. It was neat to see Jonathan so pumped up from the win.  I don't think he realizes his God-given talent, so we will just gently continue to encourage him and pray he eventually does.  I was very proud of Anjalene too.  My girl belongs on the stage, not the track; however, she has gotten her mile down to about ten minutes which is a huge improvement for her.  She finished this race well and really gave it her all. Anthony sat this one out but he cheered with me and Janessa.

Later we visited a local church for a walk through Bethlehem.  It was such a neat experience, so hands on, so focused on Christ's birth and the real meaning of Christmas.  We all loved the experience and  the kids said they hope we make it a tradition like the living nativity they look forward to.  That made my mama heart so happy.

Learning to weave

She used her schilling to buy Nina a basket

Keeping the focus on Christ has been difficult in years past as we tried to keep up with all that was going on around us.  Wanting the best experiences for our kids, to create meaningful and lasting memories was in the forefront of our intentions; however, I am coming to realize less is truly MORE.  Our kids do not want for anything that they really need.  And in the season leading up to Christmas, there was mindless bickering and squabbling and I was sincerely sick of it.

Then it hit me.  I am part of the problem.  Every time we rushed from this activity to the next, bought what they wanted from their list, made it more about them than the real meaning of Christmas. . .why was I expecting a different result?  It was a no brainer why our devotion around the advent wreath wasn't going the way I envisioned--we had lost our focus.  And I needed to lead us back to it.  So subtly, and ever so gently, with kindness and love, I'm trying to get us back to perhaps a place we've never really even been...the real meaning of Christmas.  We went to a penance service at church.  Just me and the bigs and we needed it.  We needed the car ride there, the priest's words, the time together in the pew.  We needed it to reconnect, to remember, to renew our hearts and minds to be who God intends us to be.  And it is good.

This season may only come once a year,  but it's for that very reason that we can't afford to miss it!  We need to fight for the joy.  We need to bring it back to what it is really all about. . .His birth.  We need to surround our days with plenty of empty white space to feel His presence and to spread His joy.  We do not need to go along with the crowd, when the crowd has it all wrong.  Jesus was born in a stable. Surrounded by his mother and father and a bunch of barnyard animals.  We do not need to be a part of the crowd to celebrate Christmas.  The noise, clutter, and frenzy might just blur your vision so you are missing out on the clear view of God's love for us that he sent us His only son.  Find your place.  Find your peace. Start today.