Savor the Silence

This is the third Thursday in a row that I have had a whole two hours to myself before my students arrive. Grandpa has laid claim to Janessa.  She calls this their lazy day and she is ever more conscious of the days of the week now.  I hope it is a date that will be withstanding, as this could very well be their last opportunity to pour into her without the schedules and demands of a regular school day.  Following a day of illness, the options that loom before me are varied.  The band upon my wrist taunts me to get outside and walk--to make up for the steps missed while in bed yesterday.  My book for book club beckons me--two chapters to go.  Two chapters echoing THIS is my best yes.  A house could be cleaned, laundry completed, lessons to plan for what is probably my last semester of homeschooling for my little one; yet, I sit.

I have blessed my husband as he left for work, prayed for a friend interviewing about a Masters program.  I have read about loaves and fishes, and Peter walking on water.  I have worked out, washed breakfast dishes, blessed kids as they walked off to school.  We've kept a meeting with our ES and reflected on our month of learning, I've taken a forgotten lunch and book to school, I've chatted for a few minutes with two girl friends, texted encouragement to a couple of others and it isn't even 11 am.

And now, as my music plays softly in the background, a smile plays on my lips as my eyes gaze lovingly out a window with a view of tall trees and mountains looming in the distance...I'm just thankful for this one moment.  This opportunity to live this life.  All the petty problems and annoyances with people or situations, in the scheme of it all mean nothing. With only an hour remaining before my writing class begins--I will sit and savor the silence.  I will relish in the revelations of my thoughts.  I will contemplate my days and God's use of my gifts. I will look forward to the future, while at the very same time enjoy the gift of now.

There is wonderful joy ahead--1 Peter 1:6

#1 of 15 in 2015

As the white space has increased out of sheer desperation for a life well lived, phrases and quotes scream out to me as I stumble upon them in my wandering.  This weeks's chapter about Mary's endurance made me reflect on: am I praying about it more than I am talking about it?  I love when the Holy Spirit speaks to me.  I love when I am still and quiet enough to hear him!  This statement alone, gave me pause and I have committed my person to prayer, rather than speaking of the situation he or she is involved in.

In my Love God Greatly, morning email study, led by a dear friend, this sentence screamed at me from my inbox.  I had been pursuing satisfaction from the world instead of finding sufficiency in my Savior.  How long was that my truth?  I'm so thankful to God for seeing the error of my ways, for turning my gaze upon Him instead and His filling me with unspeakable joy to live a well intentioned life.  I'm grateful he shifted my focus and redefined my idea of success.  Raising kingdom kids could be my greatest achievement ever.  This is enough!  And it's a reminder I need often because I tend to backslide in my thoughts, that I have to have a job to contribute monetarily to our family.

Ann Voskamp, of a Holy Experience caught me with. . ."And because the way you live your ordinary days is what adds up to your one extraordinary life, "  All of these mundane moments counts.  Every. Single. One.  These moments are intricately woven together to make the fabric of my life.  Just as I was knitted together in my mother's womb, and God knew the plans He had for me from the start, every moment matters in the totality of my life.  And my one desire is to live it well and to live it for HIm, raising children who will continue the mission.

In other news, I have committed myself to 15 date nights for 2015.  Due to babysitting, nights out alone are super hard to come by, but this year the kids are older and we have to do it for us.  We need to stay connected.  We need to stay focused on the child raising.  We need to be in constant prayer about the journey. . .together.  So last night, we kicked off our first date with a Mighty Ducks hockey game.  It was a shut out, with great seats we were gifted from a friend and we had a nice time together.  The drive to and from was filled with conversation and I'm so thankful for my husband who is willing to invest in this marriage as much as I am.

Date #1 of 15 in 2015

Happy New Years!

 We visited the Rose Parade for the very first time. . . well the after math of the parade to view the floats!  It was SO beautiful--my dad says I've been there before, but I truly can not remember!!

 Our New Year's Eve was quiet.  Plans to travel were thwarted by rain.  But that's okay, visits from loved ones, games, movies, goal setting and celebrating was plenty!

Nessa and Nina

Goal setting

The movie Annie with the cousins

She's got her own style

Plenty of relaxing took place too

At the end of the year, all I  can say is that it was good to us.  Life is full and busy and good.  I never would have thought we would be where we are: me homeschooling, quitting my job, taking guardianship, dealing with aging sick parents, living, laughing, loving.  I think the focus on family grew me this year.  I found myself...and me here with them is enough.