Forties Festivities

The first week of forty has been filled with family, friends, and celebration.

 I went to wine with two girlfriends.  The shop closed too early so we went next door and sat on the patio talking about all our parenting imperfections.  I feel blessed to know these women, to bare our souls and to laugh at ourselves and with each other when it's necessary.  There are no airs, only love.  Sushi, pho, and Eureka burgers also happened this week. It's a beautiful problem to know this kind of love, let me tell you!

My war room is growing.  I just love everything about it!

 Talented friends created beautiful gifts.

 My brothers showed up to the Golden Days Parade festivities.  That's all I really wanted--all of us in the same space doing something we had enjoyed as kids.  It was very nostalgic.

We celebrated Uncle Frank's birthday on the patio.

These girls are a hoot!

Sitting on our corner.

 We ate at an oldie but goodie.  I had been craving Mexican food for awhile.  My nina Karvel made the best lemon pound cake and a chocolate cake that were delicious.  It was a little rushed as I like to get the kids in bed at their bed times during the week, but I appreciated all of my family who showed up.

 A gift that I had permission not to share. . .

 Mimosas with my mom friends.

Mass was celebrated by the priest who married us.  I adore Fr. Peter Dennis.  It felt like a huge blessing to have him be the celebrant at mass the morning of my special day.

And Ernie, made this birthday pretty spectacular.  I had forty gifts to unwrap.  He overdid it.  The gifts were so thoughtful and meaningful and comprised of the things I love.  That morning he got up early with me to see what we could accomplish running wise in forty minutes.  We ran five in a little over forty and it felt good!

I always tease I have a birthday month, but the reality is. . .I squeezed all my fun into a week this year.  It was loud, and wild by my standards and filled with the people I care about most.  Forty is off to a fantastic start.  I think I'm going to like it here.  Yes, yes. . . I think I"m gonna like it here! (Sung in my loudest Annie voice)

Letter to my Littles: Forty Today

My Dearest Littles,

Today is a milestone birthday for me. Forty. Wow, I remember when that seemed so old!  Today, on the celebration of my birth it feels like an open doorway into a special time and place.  There is no fear.  There is no woe.  There is simply a feeling of peace and contentment to have made it this far in life with the gifts of each of you.

Forty feels like a freedom to be who God made me to be.  Forty feels like wind in my hair, sunlight on my skin, and true joy radiating from the inside out.  It has only taken forty years to get me to this place, and oh what a fabulous place it is, sweet littles.  All the angst of my twenties long gone, and the hard parenting and career choices of my thirties a thing of the past, forty feels fantastic thus far.  I know there will be hard seasons of parenting teens and tweens up around the bend, but for now, this year, forty feels like I've arrived on the doorstep of a true gift.

I may have played it a little too safe in my thirties, so that we missed the boat to move into a larger house with more space.  But none of you want to move.  Your roots are here, what we have is enough and that fills my mama heart with joy!  I may have messed up with some relationships in the general sense of the word, "messed up," but I handled them. I confronted and asked for forgiveness.  I moved on.  If they can't, then it's no longer my problem.  I have learned to let it go. Loves, forty is a place where I know who I am, who we are in Him, and what He asks of me.  There is nothing more beautiful than living the life He intends for you. Nothing.

So today, on the celebration of the day of my birth, I write 40 wishes that I have for you:

1.  I wish you rainbows after the rain. . .think of Noah's promise, and then think of me.
2.  I wish you seasons of struggle to discover your strengths.
3.  I wish you perseverance to run the race set before you.
4.  I wish you enough love to last a lifetime.
5.  I wish you the ability to recognize when you've made a mistake in a relationship, and seek to make it right.
6.  I wish you a wonderous and adventurous spirit to explore God's beautiful world.
7.  I wish that you would always chase butterflies.
8.  I wish that you would always look for the good even when bad seems to be all the news covers.
9.  I wish you solid relationships with your siblings that will last your entire lives.
10.  I wish you never lose your sense of wonder.
11.  I wish you make art with your own too hands as often as you can.
12.  I wish that you would never compromise your morals or values to fit in to a world we were called to be set apart from.
13.  I wish you boldness to go out in this world and shine his light.
14.  I wish you spare change to buy surprise cups of coffee.
15.  I wish you peaceful hearts that will follow you all the days of your life.
16.  I wish you hours of deep conversation around a fire pit that keeps you connected with those you love.
17.  I wish you the kind of life that is lived in front of you, not on a telephone screen.  Look up. Live.
18.  I wish you an insatiable desire to read.  Books open the door of your imagination, they help you learn.  Fall in love with books and you have a friend for life.
19.  I wish you hand picked flowers, any time, all the time.  Brighten someone's day.  May your day be brightened too.
20.  I wish you a sense of competence in a world that wants to compete.  Do your best and God will take care of the rest.
21.  I wish you home made chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.  Grab them hot as often as you can.
22.  I wish you walks on the beach waiting for sunset.  Notice the masterpieces.  He paints them for you!
23.  I wish you friends who accept you for who you are and love you for it.
24.  I wish you silent successes that scream you can do anything you put your mind to.
25.  I wish you the kind of marriage daddy and I have been fortunate enough to live.
26. I wish that you would never forget the elderly.  Always say hello.  Your life is not more important than theirs.  Never.
27.  I wish you clarity when making life choices.  Do what you love and it will never feel like work.
28.  I wish you freedom from the world's expectations for you.
29. I wish you courage to stand when those around you sit.
30.  I wish that your children will know the Lord like you do.  They are how you leave your legacy on this world.
31.  I wish you bike rides to the lake that always remind you of us, long after we are gone.
32.  I wish you camping trips with stories of the days from your childhood where you recall your camping stories.
33.  I wish you would use the gifts you've been given to help change this world!
34.  I wish for peace of mind and in your heart for all the days of your life.
35.  I wish that you always know how much we love you.  Nothing you can do will ever change that love.
36.  I wish you learn from daddy and my mistakes and you strive not to repeat them.
37.  I wish you recognize daily the gifts you receive.  Count your joys love.
38.  I wish for your hearts of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.
39.  I wish no roots of bitterness will ever be planted in your life.  Once planted there is no telling how long it will negatively effect your spirit. See the good.
40.  I wish that your lives will be long, your blessings many, and the love will run deep.

You, my littles are my legacy.  You are the greatest gift I will ever leave behind.  And on the day of my 40th birthday, I thank God for this time here on earth to pour into your lives so that I could better learn about my own.

All my love always loves,

Mama

Festivities at Forty

That smile of his melts my heart. Always.

I had this kind of awakening this weekend.  Not necessarily a good one but one that left me with a different way to look at a situation. After too many funerals and diagnosis' of beloved friends over the last couple months, I wanted to celebrate Ernie's 40th.  What better reason to get together than for a happy occasion?

It was relatively small and some of our closest friends couldn't be there due to vacation plans which was a little disappointing, because truth be told. . .we just don't really try to get together anymore.  Now that our friends have kids who are grown, it seems like schedules have just taken a life of their own.  And I get it.  I do.  It just disappoints my heart a little, but then I'm filled with hope for the future when schedules might open up and we can reconnect.

I guess I have a different expectation for family, and I shouldn't.  Someone I love a lot once told me, my kids may be my world, but they aren't everyone else's.  Point taken. But for me, family has become my world--and it boggles my mind when it's not everyone else's. I guess my expectation for my family is similar to my parent's expectation for me when I was a teen and college aged: you show up.  You don't have to stay the entire time, but you make an appearance.  That's something that was expected of me and I've really come to own it and still follow through today as much as I can.  So when immediate family can't be somewhere special, not even for a little while. . .it stings a bit. My husband goes above and beyond to so many people, I just really wanted him to feel and be celebrated.  That's what good wives do, I suppose.

But the next morning, sitting outside having coffee with my fine forty-year-old, in his divine wisdom, said, "It's more important to me the people who were there then the ones who weren't."  This coming from the guy who had to pick up and drop off his own dad just so he could attend... And I realized he is right.  First off, not everyone has our strong value of family first.  Secondly, sometimes other plans come first--even if it doesn't make any sense to me.

Our kids and Lene's best friend, Layla did all the set up under the guidance of me, grandma, and grandpa. They cleaned, decorated, and were so extremely helpful and honestly happy to do so.  That in and of itself was such a gift.  Our comadre offered to make Ernie's favorite dessert, not only enough for him, but for the entire party. It was such a blessing.  Her husband rushed off to get ice for us while E was gone picking up his dad last minute, no questions asked. . .he just went and did what needed to be done.  Blessed.  My mom went above and beyond to offer all that she had to make centerpieces and such.  And then I forgot to take pictures of the finished project! Her generosity is like no other. My dad, offering the house so they could attend without needing a caregiver for papa was so appreciated!  They made the party!

I didn't take many pictures because I was honestly paying so much attention to the moments. . .the unexpected ones happening right in front of me with people who were there to celebrate the incredible man my husband is.  I have been reminded on more than one occasion recently by how incredibly blessed I am to do life with this man.   Even if we were the only people at the party, it would have been enough.  I am so thankful for the opportunity to celebrate life while the living is here to experience it.  I am so thankful for the strong family ties we are instilling in our children.  I am so thankful for friends who show up and love on my man, who deserves to be honored every day of the year. 40 years in the books. . .now we wait for my turn.