Lent, Loss, and Littles

Did I mention that I was giving up Instagram this Lenten season?  I have. I miss it terribly, but probably not for all the right reasons.  Apparently, I'm not really good at self control.  I found myself scrolling through feeds every chance I got.  And all for what really?  A small glimpse into someone else's seemingly perfect life?  On social media, people share the best parts.  They share what they want you to see.  And sometimes I'm the one that is left feeling not good enough based simply on what I see.  The person whose kids are so darn together all the time?  Mine will walk out, hair looking like Diana Ross if I let her.  My ragamuffin takes great pride in dressing herself even if I cringe in her color combinations or shoes on the wrong feet.  And what about feeling left out of certain circles because pictures are posted from an event you weren't invited to?  While I know, you can't always be invited it still might sting for just a second.  I try to be respectful and responsible with what I post, but really I have no control over what the people around me do. Sigh

I am finding the desire to be on my phone has diminished some simply by taking Instagram away.  Why did it take a giving up of something to see the error of my ways?  In the car when E drives, I'm engaging in conversation now, not staring down at my device.  When we're watching a movie together, I'm not tempted to sneak a peek of the life someone else is living and enjoying mine.  It is obvious to me that my personality is such that social media is addictive.  One Lent left me saying good-bye to Facebook and this one is figuring to be the same with Instagram.  Relief.

It's not pretty to recognize a behavior that needs to be changed.  It's especially hard to accept when the letting go of this said behavior feels like a loss.  It's real and personal.  Yuck! "No man is able to be a servant to two masters: for he will have hate for the one and love for the other, or he will keep to one and have no respect for the other. You may not be servants of God and of wealth".--Matthew 6:24  

Had I become a slave to my phone? No bueno.  


In the meantime, I am thankful that I knew what I needed to give up and was obedient to His request. Everything looks so much better when I'm not looking at the screen of my iphone and am instead, enjoying the life going on around me!  We celebrated three birthdays last week.  The boys took a desert trip for some off road fun.  I got to spend some one on one time with my oldest little lady.  We enjoyed tea together and listened to a message about God keeping his eye upon the sparrow.  I'm noticing all of these little signs of her growing up and I'm enjoying those moments she lets me pour into her and is absolutely lovely and agreeable.  Truth is, I realize it won't always be this way but I'm thankful for it now and appreciate this calm before the inevitable teenage storm.  

And since I'm not living with my hand on the phone. . .I don't have a lot of pictures to post.  But that's okay. I'm engraving them on my heart.  Even better: )