With Papa's passing, there was immense joy that he was free from confinement and pain, but sadness for the lives we are left to live without him. But the very next day after he passed, I went out to run an errand in the night. I ended up heading towards my parent's house. That had been my home away from home the last two weeks, and I just automatically went that direction. Suddenly on Foothill, I noticed cars slowing on the opposite side so I slowed too. I knew I was coming towards construction, but luckily no cars were around me because all of a sudden, a coyote ran across the street. I braked and it stopped, just looking at me before it ran off. My heart was beating wildly, I mean. . .I almost hit a coyote!
Turning down my parent's street just a minute away, the first thing I noticed was my dad's car wasn't in the driveway, so I knew they weren't home. The next thing, Papa's light wasn't on. And I sat in the driveway and cried. On my way home, I called my brother to tell him but he didn't answer. So, when I returned home Ernie listened, hugged me, and sent me upstairs to get some much needed sleep. Minutes later, my brother called me back and asked what was up. I recounted the story of almost hitting the coyote, but ultimately-just missing my Papa. He stopped me and said I wasn't going to believe what he saw that morning. It was a coyote, running in broad daylight about 10 am. down a busy street by our house. I was surprised. I haven't seen one by our house in years! Now he and I had seen one on the same day after Papa died! We would tease Papa about running wild and free when he was in heaven. Could it be some kind of sign?
I fell asleep pondering that. The next day Nessa and I headed to my parent's to work on a project for school. My mom has everything one would ever need for anything! I was almost to their house when my cell phone rang. Ernie told me I wasn't going to believe what he and Anjalene had just seen. . .a coyote running on the opposite side of our street!!! I hadn't even told him that Alan had seen one the day before too!
Final God-incidence. . .Jonathan went to Science Camp the next day. He had to return early for Papa's funeral, but he burst through the door holding his hand up for all us us to see his stamp. He had randomly been assigned to sleep in the "Coyote Bunk." Papa was showing up all around us.
So we did a little research about coyotes and their symbolism. The coyote totem is strikingly paradoxical and is hard to categorize. It’s a teacher of hidden wisdom with a sense of humor, so the messages of the coyote spirit animal may paradoxically appear in the form of a joke or trickery. Don’t be tricked by the foolish appearances. The spirit of the coyote may remind you to not take things too seriously and bring more balance between wisdom and playfulness. Other research suggests the coyote represents forging a new path, or way of doing things... Definitely food for thought. And then the day of Papa's funeral, as we pulled into the cemetery, one last sign waited. It said Warning: Beware of the coyotes.
As usual, Papa had the last word.
Our Family and Alan's will always think of you when we see or hear about a coyote. Love forever.
I was so looking forward to the normalcy of this week. Then three kids got pink eye. And I had my observation at work. And gift baskets for the silent auction have to be put together for Saturday. And then my job share partner called and we had the conversation that needed to be had and I'm walking away from my twenty percent. I knew going into this year, that it would probably be our last as her personal life situation has changed. I prayed that if it's God's intention that I stay in the classroom, then He would open a door--I mean He seriously has delivered the last two times I've shifted into part time status. This time I felt ready for the move out of two worlds and into just my home BUT then in December my partner said she could swing it. She wanted to share a classroom again. If I'm honest with myself, the first feeling I had was disappointment but I knew it was God's will for me to stay part of both worlds. How could it not be? I had to do it if she was able to!
Then today we found out administration was shifting things around and math and science were to be in my future if we continue to share. I am not a math teacher. When the conversation continued it just felt like it was my time to exit. I talked to my husband. Then we notified our principal. And then I might have panicked as I tried to reconcile my heart and mind to get in sync with each other and just be still. My first instinct was to call Human Resources and see what else is out there in the part time world--but as I entered this year with my prayer to God--I promised myself I wouldn't search it out. Whatever it was meant to be would come to me. By making the call to HR it felt like I wasn't trusting God enough--or I didn't know if I agreed with His answer. How's that for faith?
I sent out a couple texts to friends that resembled this:
The day wore on and I did what needed to be done--drove to the store with one of my sickies and we conversed until we were out of words. Because the silence was drowned out by my thoughts--I turned on the radio and low and behold the song that had just concluded my Mom's Heart weekend was just beginning on XM "Oceans" by Hillsong.
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
I will call upon Your nameAnd keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise my soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call meTake me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine.
Do you see the theme yet? And then as if that wasn't enough, when I was getting into my car, I hit the unlock button on my remote and heard something drop. I looked down in the gutter to see my key chain staring up at me: Trust in the Lord.
Be still. Have Faith. Trust. Uh-huh. I get it. Really I do.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and
petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. --Philipians 4:6 Updated 3/1: I've been behaving. I haven't contacted Human Resources and I'm not planning to. For someone who has always claimed I don't "hear" God speak to me. . .I need the sky writing, I just can't get over the ways He has been speaking peace and faith into my heart. Through messages in my inbox and the gift of friends who know Him and breathe His truths into my life, I can say four days later, I am excited to see what exactly God has planned for my life!
It just boggles my mind the way He is revealing himself to me--reminding me if there is a time to act out my faith--it is now!
Do you see what book in the bible I'm reading in an on line study that I am completing by myself? Some days I get to it and some days I don't--but this week I did and look what the day's verses were about:
John 6:16-21
English Standard Version (ESV)
Jesus Walks on Water
16 When evening came, his disciples went down to the sea,17 got into a boat, and started across the sea to Capernaum. It was now dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them.18 The sea became rough because a strong wind was blowing.19 When they had rowed about three or four miles,[a] they saw Jesus walking on the sea and coming near the boat, and they were frightened.20 But he said to them, “It is I; do not be afraid.”21 Then they were glad to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat was at the land to which they were going.
Jesus walks on water people!!!!!! I'm just so excited that I had to come back here and share!
Finally, my daily devotional Wednesday mentioned walking on the water again!This, my friends is NOT a coincidence--it's a theme God is weaving into the fabric of my life to take heart and be still and know than He is God and that my faith will carry me if I believe in Him enough!!!!!
I can not begin to tell anyone how monumental this week has been in my life. If ever there was a time that I truly felt God speaking truths into my life--it would have to be now. I write here to encourage you, my friends, my daughters, my sons, that He is ALL you will ever need and do not be discouraged if there are times in your life where you are like, "Hello, God? I need the skywriting, please. I need to KNOW." If you pray boldly, and consistently He will answer. It might not be the answer you're expecting or want to hear. . .but He will answer. Prepare your hearts and minds to receive the words, the promises He has over your life. Because when you do? The peace and joy you will feel is amazing!
