I want a Do-Over

Every once in awhile I want a re-do.  I want to start the morning differently, do the day differently, or end the night on a different note.  And then there are the days that are going pretty smoothly, no big fiascoes , attitudes, problems. . .it's all going smoothly, until it isn't. It's not me that needs the do over.  It's one of my own.  It happens without me seeing it coming.  It just happens and then?

How I react to the problem or situation or child becomes part of the equation.  I have the power to choose calm or continue the craziness.  I can try to figure out the real heart issue at hand or focus on the emotions that this "situation" arises in me.  I know my child's academic performance is not a reflection of who I am as a mother; however, I'm still navigating the waters of when they don't act in a pleasing, loving way--that feels like a direct reflection of who I am as their mom.

Sometimes it is hard to distinguish the difference. 

I'm stuck in that distinguishing place right now.

 I hate being stuck.

I also hate that grudge-holding girl I can be.

I want to be a grace-giver.

But it's hard.  Really hard.

This is the Lord's work I am doing--raising kids, fighting for their hearts, inspiring them, "To act justly and to love mercy
    and to walk humbly with your God." (Micah 6:8)

It's the work He has called me to do.  The best work I will ever do. 
His work.  His children.  His plans for them.

All Him. . .less of me.  Maybe that's the key?