God doesn't give us more than we can handle, right?
Maybe in your most fragile state some grandiose lesson will be revealed and you will never be the same?
I'm thinking all of the above are true for me these days.
Today's fear in watching before my very eyes as my 87-year-old papa collapsed and passed out was new.
It was new because my general reaction when I am scared is to pray-
Today was different.
In my moment of panic, in between medic alert buttons and and making my papa comfortable, or trying to at least, I grew irate.
My fear turned to fury.
My fury turned to fierce determination.
"You will not do this to me!"
"Not on my watch, Lord."
"Really God? Why me?"
And the more and more I thought about the events of the afternoon it was almost comedic.
Almost.
Because then the realization set in that in a moment of crisis I did not use my first line of defense--prayer.
When did this happen? Why did that happen?
This can't be good.
So I did what I could to set me on the right path again.
I emailed and called a couple of friends...my front line.
I asked for prayer...begged might have been a better word.
But I'm confident that what I need the Lord can provide.
Today He saved my papa's life.
Things might have ended very different had he been in the shower which is where he was headed when I showed up.
So I may not have been where I wanted to be today, but I was definitely where He needed me to be.
Thank you, God.
Maybe in your most fragile state some grandiose lesson will be revealed and you will never be the same?
I'm thinking all of the above are true for me these days.
Today's fear in watching before my very eyes as my 87-year-old papa collapsed and passed out was new.
It was new because my general reaction when I am scared is to pray-
Today was different.
In my moment of panic, in between medic alert buttons and and making my papa comfortable, or trying to at least, I grew irate.
My fear turned to fury.
My fury turned to fierce determination.
"You will not do this to me!"
"Not on my watch, Lord."
"Really God? Why me?"
And the more and more I thought about the events of the afternoon it was almost comedic.
Almost.
Because then the realization set in that in a moment of crisis I did not use my first line of defense--prayer.
When did this happen? Why did that happen?
This can't be good.
So I did what I could to set me on the right path again.
I emailed and called a couple of friends...my front line.
I asked for prayer...begged might have been a better word.
But I'm confident that what I need the Lord can provide.
Today He saved my papa's life.
Things might have ended very different had he been in the shower which is where he was headed when I showed up.
So I may not have been where I wanted to be today, but I was definitely where He needed me to be.
Thank you, God.
oh my, sweet friend. keeping you in my prayers. you are so right, our God does not give us more than we can handle. there have been times where i certainly questioned Him as to how much He was giving me. but He always has brought me through to the other side...a stronger woman more in awe of Him. i love how He can turn our struggles and fears into our triumphs. love you friend.
ReplyDeleteA wise woman once told me that God is so big he can even handle our fury. And you know what...he can. I can't even tell you how many times I've gone to God ANGRY at what he has given me - only to be reminded that I need to turn it over to him. Which is exactly what you did. Sending prayers and hugs.
ReplyDeleteWe will never truly understand God's plan for us Janene. Why He chooses to fill a portion of our earthly lives with disappointments, pain and grief, is something we all wonder bout at one time or another. "Why me Lord?" is probably the question most asked of God and I think he poses a question of His own right back at us, "Why not you?"
ReplyDeleteI can only think that each of these test and trials are designed in one way or another,to help bring us closer to Him. And if we are patient and trust in Him, in due time He will send us the light and strength we seek. You can never give up because He is near you at every moment.
Love You
Dad
amen, friend. what a blessing to rest in him! praying for y'all xo
ReplyDelete