September 21, 2012

This week I am happy to say that we are entering into the weekend with a kitchen remodel complete!  All that is left is the painting of baseboards and finding two new trash cans, but all is well in my little world that is thankfully less chaotic and more clean.

The kitchen consisted of new flooring and backsplash.  The dining area received a furniture face lift and a creamy color splashed on to the walls.  I love it.  It just makes the space feel more open and airy which is hard to do in a small area such as this.

Being home, cleaning up, and organizing chaos led me to be in the mood for some Fall decorating.  I am so happy to be home this year, to be pouring acts of service and love into my entire family, that dolling the place up a little was all fun and no work!

I remember this feeling fondly--nine years ago after our upstairs addition was complete, I had no need to step foot outside my home.  I was so happy in the space we created and so relieved that the chaos of renovating was finished that I desired to live fully in our new space and create family memories and routines and fellowship that was meaningful.  I feel the same way now.

The bathroom isn't done yet, but baby steps are being made.  I'm hoping it will be painted this weekend since the space isn't too big, but I don't really want to do it, because I got my fill painting the dining room last week!  But it has to be done and I want to be here, so I will work with eager hands as the Proverbs 31 woman would do...
"She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks."

Our Proverbs 31 study this summer seeped in to the very being of who I am, who I desire to be.  Being home with my family more this year is my opportunity to bless them and to let go of some of my needless desires for a perfect, organized space void of clutter and chaos.  This is the stage we are in and as much as it is our duty to teach the kids responsibility and discipline, it was His love, in light of His law .  This particular line struck me as I realized that sometimes I miss the heart of an issue because I am too focused on the end result, the rule that was broken, the trait that is underdeveloped.  I am a work in progress.  It is a work in progress. As are they.

I find it much easier to see my growth in my marriage over the years.  My husband doesn't have the same tendencies that the kids do, grating upon my nerves with whining or complaining, or seeming ungrateful some times.  He has become more and more my partner in parenting, the one I choose to hang around with simply because he is my best friend.  I choose him.  The kids. . .oh, I see so much of my ugliness sometimes in them.  I think that is why I react because I think I can teach them into obedience and becoming the good person God intends them to be.  But they are exactly who God intends them to be--as am I.  In all the parts I work on and want to change, I am still me and I am loved by an almighty God.  How blessed am I?

How blessed are all of us?  This year in particular as I have been given this gift of time with my precious babies--God knew it was just what I needed.  As hard as it is, as broken as I sometimes feel, as much as I want the best for these children of mine--none of it is easy. Being unselfish with my time and energy does not come naturally for me, I wish I could say it did.  God called me home as much to pour wisdom and love and change into me as it is to pour it into my kids.  I am the one who has a lot of growing and changing and becoming still to do.  And with His help, it is all possible.