Always Catching Up. . .

Where to begin?  As February has erupted with rapid speed, I knew there was a longing to find quiet in a space I could call my own.  Last weekend, E delivered it for me.  After rearranging some furniture, I had space for a recliner in a corner of our room.  I brought up a small table from the living room, and inherited a checker table from my Aunt Dorothy. I brought up our photo frame from the kitchen and I just love that corner of my world!

 It is complete with all of my books, bibles, devotionals, and journals.  A little haven just for me--except of course when I share it.  We now have the perfect little place to have tea parties when someone is needing a little one on one attention.  I love this tea/talk time in our room now! It is so much more intimate that the living room or kitchen table.  I can close the door and shut out the world so I am focused on the little one in need.

Nessa Bessa has taken a liking to it too.  Actually all three kids have been found sitting up there reading their books.  A perfect, quiet retreat!  That checker board--we used it for the first time Wednesday night.  Jonathan is learning how to play--then I had to google how to win.  I had forgotten what a checker chase it could be!! I'm looking forward to may games in our future.

As this has become my personal photo journal of our year, I had to document Nessa's first trip to the dentist.  She was a trooper.  She was so cooperative and unafraid.  She was fascinated with the process and loved her new dentist!  The best news:  no cavities!!!

It is hard to believe that Valentine's day has come and gone.  It was a quiet day, one in which I just was in a bit of a funk.  You know the kind that there's really no good reason for?  It was just this feeling of blah.  Two bouquets of flowers didn't take it away, nor did the great devotional E bought me.  It just kind of stuck with me until I baked a little and delivered a couple small loaves of banana bread to people I appreciate and admire.  One such delivery to my mom resulted in a huge tray of lasagna that she had made for myself and each of my brothers!  This was a treat because first, it's E's favorite and I was planning on making my own.  Talk about taking the work out of the kitchen!!  That was super generous and so very much appreciated.

Maybe the blah was because my mom has ALWAYS made Valentine's Day special--we usually had home made lasagna with place mats/valentines she made us every year.  There was always a little gift to open, a pretty table set and candle light.  It was always a feast we looked forward to.  Then it grew into this huge thing--I mean HUGE!  There were about 30 to 50 people that would show up and she started wrapping and decorating in January! It is funny, when it was that big I longed for a smaller scale, but now that there is nothing--and it's up to me to deliver for my own family and make it special--I realize it is a lot of work.  A. Lot. Of. Work.  I buy them each a book and decorate the house, but I think the expectations I have for myself are trying to meet  the ones my mom set for herself.  Maybe this year the blah was all about the realization that --I'm not her.  I can't do it like that. My kids don't expect me to.


I sent my brother a text saying, "Valentine's is soooo over rated, don't you think?"  I think the expressions of love that I miss most are the written ones, the daily ones, the ones focused on us being together, laughing and loving. I miss the simplicity of doing life together.  I missed my oldest son and daughter not being home to celebrate with us.  I missed the important people in my kid's lives not calling or texting to tell them they were loved.  I smiled when Lene thanked her dad and hugged him for the book she received and he acknowledged. . .it was all me.  Moms are the ones who create the magic, the celebrations, the traditions.  It's exhausting work because the kind I'm trying to impart to these children of mine are intentional, time consuming, hands on, all consuming of me and my energy because it's relationships.  Developing relationships is exhausting and exhilarating all in the same breath. Sometimes these relationships will be ridiculed or misunderstood by others. . .but at the end of the day I want to raise kids who know that God has a mighty plan for them and mom and dad plan on supporting them every step of the way.