Learning to Fly. . .I Mean Ride

A couple weeks ago we attempted to teach Janessa to ride a bike.  It all started when a friend passed one down to her and Ernie tried to find training wheels.  When he couldn't, he ended up finding her one to "start with" and then she could grow into using the other one which was a little bit bigger.  It's funny because all three of the older kids were very coordinated and riding bikes as early as two.  We expected this experience to be the same. . .it wasn't.  We realized after an hour of pulling Nessa around, that she hasn't had the same experiences and opportunities to learn as she has been considered the baby.   She also didn't have the motivation.  The playground continuously beckoned her, as did the large field to run around on and the other kids to chase.

Don't get me wrong, she tried. . .but to no avail.  And instead of just enjoying the moments, I felt myself getting frustrated with her.  I kept showing her how to pedal and showing her, and showing her, and she just wasn't getting it.  Eventually the playground prettiness won and she was off the bike enjoying the day.  I didn't really think about my reactions to her constant failing until yesterday at my Mom Heart Group.

One friend shared about potty training her son and how the Lord spoke to her. She said something like, "How many times are we going to have to go through this before you get it right?"  And then the Lord put upon her heart, "Yes, how many times?"  As she spoke, it resonated within me, those were pretty much my exact thoughts as I tried to teach Nessa to ride her bike.  And how about, that's Jesus' question to me throughout most of my day when it comes to learning how to parent my children and pour into their little hearts.  How many times will I blow my cool and have to ask forgiveness?  How many times will I speak without thinking?  How many times will I continue to feed into the craziness and add to the chaos?  How many times will I be frustrated with my reaction to my children's mistakes?  How many times will I sin and sin again?

The thing about my God is that He is gracious and patient.  He is loving and kind.  He will forgive me as often as I need Him to, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." (Matthew 18:22).  All He wants from me is my heart and my willingness to follow Him and write the story He intends to be my life.

It doesn't matter how many times I make the same mistake. It doesn't matter how long I take to learn something.  All that matters is that He is there for me.  He comforts and holds me up when it feels like the world is falling apart around me.  He gives His love generously and ferociously because He loves us. . .ALL of us. 

So, the learning to ride thing is going to take longer than I think it should.  Who cares?  Who am I anyways?  More time to enjoy the process of learning, I guess.  I have the song, "Learning to Fly" playing on the radio of my mind.  I think my dad used to blast it in the van years ago. . .

Well some say life will beat you down
Break your heart, steal your crown
So I've started out, for God knows where
I guess I'll know when I get there

I'm learning to fly, around the clouds,
But what goes up must come down

I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings
Coming down is the hardest thing

There are enough bumps and twists and turns in the road to be worried about how many times  something is going to take.  Learn to fly, or ride, or parent at your own pace.  Life isn't a race; it's a journey.  Savor it.