Mom's Heart Matters

This weekend was my third annual trek to the Mom Heart Conference hosted by Sally Clarkson.  I was especially excited because Sarah Mae (pictured in the center) would be speaking and she is the co-author of the book my group is currently three chapters deep.  This year, I would also be staying overnight with a friend--again, big difference from the first year in which I went alone--seriously being led by the Holy Spirit.  It has been two years, that I have been focused on more intentionality with my kids.  It has been two years in which I have grown and stretched as a mother who is in the Word daily.  It has been two years since I've consciously held the opinion, we need biblical convictions so we don't go the way of culture.


I've had to face expectations in some realms that may have been too high, while tightening the reins and lifting up expectations in other areas that I have slipped or just not gotten a grasp of well.  The whole time, I've been more gracious with myself sometimes for failing, than my kids--and I'm learning to ask forgiveness and put God's imprint on their little hearts.  There has been a shift in our home--one that breathes beauty and comfort and our faithfulness.  It is an atmosphere that I have created intentionally and a place where we all feel most at home.  It is flattering for others to feel it and to crave and seek its retreat.  This did not happen overnight.  I work at it daily.  We work together to write our story.  They are the best book I will ever write and I must parent with integrity and faithfulness.

And yet, I've found this journey to be a little. . .lonely. It is hard when I choose a bible study or book club over a Girls Night Out of drinks and gossip.  This group that was started a month ago, by me--was out of a desperate need to connect with real women who are on similar journeys.  Women who are in the trenches of motherhood--home with their littles trying to navigate the laundry and cleaning and creating hearts that love and shine for Jesus.  My struggles are different from my friends who work full time.  They just are.  Everyone must do what works for their family, but me being home with the kids to raise them to further His kingdom is what I have been called to do for now.  They are my mission field and I must continue to pursue their hearts and minds with passion and precise intentionality.  We are made for relationships--our text messages, emails, and blog comments aren't enough to sustain real meaningful, authentic friendships.  Cultivating friendships requires work and planning and love and attention.  All of which are difficult to give on days when I feel like the life is sucked right out of me as I try to keep myself in check for the sake of my husband and kids.  But I must try.  And so should you.

My desire for my family is to have a heart to listen to their hearts.  I am working on establishing a foundation of unconditional love, just as my Father has for me.  I want to instill hope in their spirits, I want our home to continue to breathe new life and ideals into their hungry minds--but primarily, I want them to ponder what does God want them to do with their lives?  I want their stories to be larger than life with purpose and beauty.  I will fight for these things because I know that THEY are a part of my story.  Pouring into them is exactly where God has intended for me to be and I won't get discouraged because God is always enough. Enough.  I have Enough.  He is enough.