Catholic Confessions about Community

This weekend marked the end of Jonathan's Faith Formation class and the first time he received communion.  This has been a two year process in which he and I shared this year of schooling together.  Being a teacher at church grew me.  Being more a part of my church community was both exhilerating and disappointing.  While I bonded with my class of eleven students and appreciated the dedication and hard work of my assistant, frankly, some parents disappointed me.  The same faces I saw weekly became blurred at church on Sunday.  I thought by pouring into my church community, relationships would develop and I'd have a better connectedness to my church.  Not so much. Teaching hasn't really changed anything.  But it has changed everything.  Sort of.

The Catholic Church is what it has always been.  Good or bad, depending on who you talk to I guess.  It's interesting to me when I hear the words of our pastor about the importance of coming to mass not because we feel like we have to, but to celebrate with our community and give thanks to our God. But week after week it seems many still come to church to mark it off their to do list.   It seems I've heard him talk on several occasions why NOT to do this.  Yet, the people hurry in, sit down, barely greet each other, shake hands at peace, wait in line for the Eucharist and hurry out to beat the crowd in the parking lot.  Every single week without fail. And this community I thought I'd find if I stepped forward to teach our youth?  I didn't.

But I did find my place and a newfound appreciation for Catholicism.  I found a priest who speaks words I need to hear every single time.  I found a new value in  having my kids celebrate mass with me (as hard or as distracting as it may be at times) because didn't Jesus say,  

"Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."--Matthew 19:14

I found that I could stop blaming the church for "what was missing."  The church has had it all along, but something inside me was disconnected and searching elsewhere for it.  After my year in the classroom, despite not blossoming friendships like I may have wished for in the onset,  I found my place in the church I belong to.  I found my voice.  I found a desire to lead more like Jesus did by being His hands and feet, by seeing people as people and loving on them because that is what He asks me to do.

And some of the parents factor at Faith Formation classes?  They are no different than some of the parents I work with at the public school. They are no different than some of the parents I know. They are emotionally or physically checked out to doing their most important calling in life.  Raising children and teaching them life lessons  is exhausting and can be burdensome; some are selfish, some feel like they are not cut out to do it, some are scared to mess their kids up.  But the fact of the matter is, if they truly rely on our God, they can do anything. And they will be blessed ten fold by this.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.--Philippians 4:13

Children are a blessing from the Lord--  

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.--Psalm 127:3  

and while jobs are important and bills have to be paid. . .it pains me to see parents relying on teachers to do what needs to start at home first and foremost.  And while an education is vitally important. . .a firm, solid faith-filled home base is even more so.  Part of teaching this to my own kids will be to pursue it at church because it's what we are called to do.Community doesn't just happen by itself--we have to be willing participants.  I am ready and willing now.

This year, I received an email monthly from a mom's book club that gathers there at church on Wednesday mornings, and I never went once.  Child care was my excuse, but the truth is I didn't feel comfortable. . .I didn't know anyone.  I still don't but I'm making this group a priority next year because I've found my place in the church and want to encourage other people to find theirs. Community might not start off as comfortable but you have to desire it, pursue it, and make it happen. 

Catholicism: Confession

This week, this young man received the sacrament of reconciliation at church. The Sacrament of Penance, commonly called Confession, is one of the seven sacraments recognized by the Catholic Church. Catholics believe that all of the sacraments were instituted by Jesus Christ himself. In the case of Confession, that institution occurred on Easter Sunday, when Christ first appeared to the apostles after his Resurrection. Breathing on them, he said: “Receive the Holy Spirit. For those whose sins you forgive, they are forgiven; for those whose sins you retain, they are retained” (John 20:22-23).

My son's experience was such a positive one compared to my own.  I distinctly remember being scared out of my mind to have to tell a priest my sins.  The Type A personality I have, even back then was petrified I would not remember all my since, hence not be forgiven.  My dad was forced to go before me because I was that terrified. The church was so different in those days.  As a Faith Formation teacher, I was encouraged to build excitement and anticipation for the gift of absolution the kids would be receiving.  We practiced examining our consciences together and we talked about sinning and asking God then and there for forgiveness.  I was able to tell them that I look at confession as a gift: a time to talk to a priest, who sometimes may say things that I need to hear.  Hearing his words of absolution soften the sting of my sin and really let me focus on ways as to not sin that way again. . .unless of course if it's something I am really struggling with, then that might be a different story.  And that is okay.

That picture above is so special to me because I had the honor of going to the rectory to get this priest every Friday to escort him into my eighth grade classroom as he answered questions: silly and serious.  He was our pastor and he poured into our lives. He heard my confession on my Engagement Encounter weekend, and I will never forget his words of advice in some areas I was struggling with a particular family member.  His words were balm for a heart in desperate need of repair.  He stood up at the altar on my wedding day and his words spoke to my heart again, as they had so many times before.

He was the man I called when my mom was sick with cancer and I desperately wanted to baptize my son, the same boy who sits before him now.  He performed the baptism at home and then dealt with the aftermath of getting me that ever so important baptismal certificate. . .makes me chuckle.  What a gift this man has played in my life as well as the life of my family.  When I questioned my Catholic faith, he owned up to his own criticisms and how that had gotten him in hot water from time to time.  He listened to me at confession again this week, and it was as if God was sitting before me speaking wisdom, peace, and grace into me.  Just the right words, just the right moment, in the form of the right man--the one who has helped to shape my religious beliefs but more importantly, my relationship with God.

The washing away of sin--such a beautiful lesson my son received this week.  I couldn't have been happier to watch him dress himself with care, get into the car with confidence, and drive to church somewhat quieter than usual.  When I asked if he was nervous, he looked at me as if I was crazy. ""No, mom.  Not at all.  I'm just thinking about my sins."  This boy, with such a generous, compassionate heart has been listening in class.  He was excited for the gift we have been given from such a loving, almighty God.  And I was a part of it.  Catholic sacraments shaping generations to come in a way filled with grace, mercy, and love.  My heart is full.