Lay Down Your Weapons

Community among women isn't always easy.  To begin with, we all have our differences, our opinions, our personality quirks, and our past hurts that influence how we handle the women in our lives today.  As I near forty, I have heard many say, "I have enough friends; I don't have time for the drama of new ones."  I believe this statement to be true to an extent. Our lives are busy and full and rich with family and friends we've known for years and can count on. . .but by turning our back on the newer people who come into our lives, we may be shutting the door to an opportunity God is gifting us: the chance to hear someone else's story, to grow or learn from their experiences and to add a new person into our mix.

Wounds can be hard to overcome.  Women can wound each other with their words, their preconceived notions, their indifference, or their gossiping.  What we all so desperately need in the form of community can quickly feel like it is turned against us as we are assaulted with the what-ifs that a woman may bring to the table.  And that is if we even allow or invite that person to sit with us at the table in the first place!  

Those same insecurities from elementary and middle school exist in the hearts of  many women to some extent.  And every women pulls a band aid off at one time or another which in turn stirs somebody else's pot. Friendships aren't always easy, but they can enrich our lives on so many levels.  As I look at the girls in my life during this season, I am pleased to see their diversity; they are working moms, stay at home moms, single, married, loud, quiet, funny, serious, homeschool mamas, public school mamas, Catholic School mamas...SO many differences but we all have something in common.  We are a community of women who believe in a mighty God who has brought us together despite ourselves, in spite of our differences.

I find it exciting to see the ways He is working out the details, the way He is intertwining our lives, the way He is using our experiences to help or guide each other in a similar struggle. The way we have the power to build each other up or break each other down with a single text, remark, or look. Women have power and our worst weapon is sometimes ourselves: our past hurts, our past struggle, our past experiences, our past distrust.  Ladies, lay down your weapon and love each other. 
All you need to do is LOVE, like He has first loved you. 

 Little eyes are always watching.

Light in the Dark

When the craziness of the world overwhelms me I generally cocoon up in our house.  I pay closer attention to the details of what happens in our four walls because lets face it: that's all we have any control over.  Even that control is questionable as the kids are growing up and entertaining their own thoughts and ideas and opinions. But sometimes things happen that bring us all together and I rest in appreciation for the support system we have in place in this time and space.

It has been one heck of a week.  A doozy.  Three separate phone calls regarding three separate incidents in which two of my kids were the victims of meanness and/or inappropriateness.  I'm not sure why it all happened in the same week. . .but it did and there's nothing I can do about it now except continue to pray for protection over my kids and for the hearts of those kids I do not know but who desperately need Jesus. When I think about it, it's as if God was preparing the way by me having been invited to serve on the interview board for the new assistant principal. Having already experienced one of the incidents, it gave me new, clear eyes to see what qualities as a parent I deemed not only important to this new person's position, but absolutely necessary.

Dare I say that although I wish none of these three events happened, I am grateful that in all three quick action was taken to make sure my  kids felt listened to and secure.  I am grateful the situations were handled swiftly and seriously.   No one belittled or played down the instances, they let me and my children know that they took these things seriously and there would be consequences for the misbehavior.

As for my kids, I am proud of them for using their voices.  Lene said she wanted to call me (no minutes left on her phone) at break to see if I thought she should tell on a boy for his actions, but she trusted her gut that what he did to her hurt and wasn't right so she spoke to her counselor.  And Bubba--he is no joke.  He waited up in the office for the principal.  There was no way he was going back to his class without talking to the man in charge.  They both did the right things. . .in spite of being called tattlers by their aggressors.

For the longest (since my first Mom Heart conference where I heard it) I've said, "Right is always right even if no one is doing it.  Wrong is always wrong even if everyone is doing it."  This week, even in the absolute craziness of it, the heartbeat that races when I see the kid's schools on the other end. . .I am reminded that we've done our part with them and "in this world you will have trouble. . ." (John 16:33)
The book of Esther 4:14 says, 14 For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?”  My kids are called for such a time as this. . .this crazy world they are living in to be His hands and feet, to shine His light, and to be the kingdom kids they were called to be.  All of these "incidents" are just further examples that instill the importance of their holy work in the school setting.

Here's to the weekend and the relief and joy only family can bring.!

Our view at cross country practice

Sweet sleep.  His mercies are new every morning.

Rough week? Game time with mom will make you feel better.

When it's really rough. . .I make thirty minutes in the backyard away from everyone a priority. We debrief and I feel better, ready to conquer. . .round four.