Weekly Wanderings

Last weekend we housed guests.  We spent a lot of time together just being in the moment.  Weekend chores fell to the wayside as we enjoyed company and all the fun that came with them. Kids spent hour after hour playing in the water just being kids.  Cousins. Aunts. Pa. Barbecue. Smores. Fire. Stories.  Our family history being strengthened and built.

Monday was my last unofficial teaching day.  Due to my kid's school schedules and the fact that I can't take twenty-two days with me, I took my last two Mondays off.  I'll say my goodbyes on the last day when all my things are packed and ready for storage. I can not wait for Summer with my kids! I met up with mom and dad for a celebratory drink.  Then I went by my brothers where three former students were gathered who cheered me on for the work I did as a teacher and for the future that is wide open for exploration now.

I've been pretty excited to explore pre-k curriculum for Nessa for our homeschool adventures next year!  We officially sign our paper this week and I am excited to work with my ES to learn everything I can because this may be an avenue I hope to explore in my future.  On top of that, what an opportunity to be Nessa's teacher and build her up and instill a love for learning through books and creativity and exploration! I'm pretty excited until she has a moment that includes excessive whining and then I reconsider for a second-breathe deep and admit I'm in this for the long haul. I AM her mom. . .

For the Love of. . .

 For the love of all things normal. . .life has been anything but.

I see glimpses of it at the dawn of my day and as I fall into slumber.  But the edges are all blurred and the picture it seems is out of focus.  The joke is on me: my word of the year was focus, remember? God SO has a sense of humor!

And how, in all the craziness that consumes us currently, is it that I would have a brief moment of clarity where I took immediate action to end this thing that I spent seventeen years in the making?

How, at a time when life seems anything but stable did I get brave enough to simply walk away? 

I'm not sure how to answer that yet.

But I did it anyways.  I took a big leap of faith and gave myself permission to admit that the biggest legacy I leave behind is the impact I have on the life of my children.  I admitted that my vision for our family life matters more than the opinions of others.  I took the step that has wanted to be taken for at least the last two years. . .and it feels exhilarating!

I feel full of hope and am resting comfortably in God's plan for me.  It feels so freeing to have released myself from the burden that had become my job. . .to not have to walk the delicate tightrope. I feel full of wonder to see what doors open or what other opportunities are out there when the time is right.  

For the love of all the students I've encountered over the past seventeen years, it was time to press pause. It was time to let go of the dream I once had and begin to dream anew.  There is no time like the present so that is what I intend to do: to laugh, to love, to play, and to be blessed by the memories I have and to dream big dreams for my tomorrows.