Catch Up

There's this lull that is occurring.  A calm before the storm, so to speak.  As we finished up the school year, which I still have a ton to write about so we always remember, I was struck by the absurdity of planning a vacation a mere day after the kids were out of school.  It felt crazy to leave after a week of mere craziness and festivities.  Truth be told, it was!  As relaxing as the beach eventually grew to be, the prep felt haphazard, unorganized, and messy.  Those are not great working conditions for me, so it was a struggle to let go and let loose.  But when I did?  What a great week with another family we love.  How awesome were the kids laughing, and playing games, and frolicking in freezing cold water!  It was a vacation to remember.  Actually this will be a summer to remember.  More details to follow, but first I have to catch up.

Week Two Wrap Up

I can not believe that today marks the second full week of school,  I'm still looking for that perfect balance, that sane schedule, that routine that we are all used to.  Needless to say, we don't have it.  All of us are still looking.  I'm trying to remember to give them grace in the process.  There is so much to keep track of: cross country, early release days, tumble bears, dance, volleyball. . .and that is pretty much only one activity per child.  It will get easier.  I will give myself grace in the process as well.

I am extremely thankful for God moments in the eye of the stormy, chaotic, craziness that has become my weekday life: for people and situations that have allowed me to get away, if only for an hour to refresh me and fill up my reserves.  Sometimes I feel like an observer of the flurry of activity that is around me.  Tracking grades, library book due dates, Nessa's lessons, and three meals a day takes a toll on a person.  And it's only week two...only week two...only week two. . .

Monkeying around is one way to combat crazy.  Janessa usually has the right idea.  Except when her hand hurts, 5 minutes into school time.  Sigh.  So is the life of a homeschooler, I guess.  Lots of patience required from mom.  And coffee.  Four o'clock coffee,  as a matter of fact, has become a matter of life and death.

And then there's this little who isn't so little any more.  I have to look for ways to squeeze one on one time with her because quality time is her love language.  So lately it has been a walk along the big block, just to talk so I can focus on her and what is on her heart versus the dishes, the need to sweep the floor again, and the questions that keep arising from the homework associated with common core.  There is just SO MUCH TO DO and I want to do it well.  So, I wake up every day and fill up my coffee cup and open my bible just hoping it will keep me grounded throughout the complications and craziness of the day!

And as if I didn't have enough on my plate to keep me busy. . .I just happened to buy a box of Hatch Chilis from New Mexico.  A box.  Sprouts roasted them for me but a woman I was talking to in line said I should peel them before I put them in the freezer.  Peel.  A few hours later with the help of my mom, I have enough chilis to last me a while at least.  There is always a positive if I look for it!  But a box of chilis?  I didn't really realize what I was getting myself into.  Thank goodness mom came by to help!

 What better thing to do on a school night than go ride horses?  The boy we carpool with has a neighbor with horses and he knows how much Lene loves them, so he arranged a horse riding session for us.  Nessa, who has only ridden a pony was not too keen on the idea of riding big, beautiful Amigo, but with some coaxing from Dustin she went.  Twice!  She even starting calling out, "Giddy-up!" and "Yee-Haw!"

Horses and chickens.  Such a fun field trip for us homeschoolers!

Horses is her thing!  She just adores them, which cracks me up a little since sometimes she is such my chicken little! She rode around very comfortable, asking all sorts of questions and so happy to be out at the barn.

And since I'm all about hands on learning--and modeling for my children.  I rode too,  Amigo was really quite big with an interesting gait because of the Tennessee horse that he is.  I just loved his markings!

And I think I just love this picture of the three girls.  Lene Bean got both the girls ready: denim, boots, and pony tails!  I thought they looked so cute I just needed a picture of us.  The only boots I own are Uggs, which wasn't happening in the ninety degree weather, but I just love their poses and that they are mine.  Love that we had some quality girl time locally, doing something Lene loved!

And I am so happy to enjoy a three day weekend at home together.  All of us!

For the Love of. . .

 For the love of all things normal. . .life has been anything but.

I see glimpses of it at the dawn of my day and as I fall into slumber.  But the edges are all blurred and the picture it seems is out of focus.  The joke is on me: my word of the year was focus, remember? God SO has a sense of humor!

And how, in all the craziness that consumes us currently, is it that I would have a brief moment of clarity where I took immediate action to end this thing that I spent seventeen years in the making?

How, at a time when life seems anything but stable did I get brave enough to simply walk away? 

I'm not sure how to answer that yet.

But I did it anyways.  I took a big leap of faith and gave myself permission to admit that the biggest legacy I leave behind is the impact I have on the life of my children.  I admitted that my vision for our family life matters more than the opinions of others.  I took the step that has wanted to be taken for at least the last two years. . .and it feels exhilarating!

I feel full of hope and am resting comfortably in God's plan for me.  It feels so freeing to have released myself from the burden that had become my job. . .to not have to walk the delicate tightrope. I feel full of wonder to see what doors open or what other opportunities are out there when the time is right.  

For the love of all the students I've encountered over the past seventeen years, it was time to press pause. It was time to let go of the dream I once had and begin to dream anew.  There is no time like the present so that is what I intend to do: to laugh, to love, to play, and to be blessed by the memories I have and to dream big dreams for my tomorrows.