Happy Anniversary to Us

15 years of happily ever after!

Plus One

One year ago today, our lives changed in a drastic way.  We added a plus one to our brood.  What was supposed to be short term has turned into anything but.  The year has been anything but easy.  It has taken patience and pouring into someone who we barely had a relationship with.  It has pulled me and stretched me in ways I never imagined.  It has frustrated me and made me angry in ways I'm not proud of.  But it has been our journey and our journey alone.

One lesson I've learned:  doing the right thing is often NOT the easy thing.  There are many who can't see the world outside their immediate household.  To do so would mean acknowledging the hurt, injustice, and poverty that takes place even among the people in our communities and dare I say...families?  It would be easier to turn a blind eye than admit more could be done.  I wanted to turn a blind eye, trust me, I did. Shoot, sometimes I still want to.  But serving God looks like this for now for us.  We've always said our neighborhood was our mission field--and this opportunity brought that statement to a whole new level.

We're helping him build a life he is very deserving of.  We are helping prepare him for the future and laying the foundation for his faith.  He is building a bridge between his past and his present.  He is looking forward to his future. He has been as much a gift to our family as we have been a gift to him.  One year later. . .I never expected life to look like this, but as always, I'm so grateful God's plans are always greater and more perfect than my own!

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.--Jeremiah 29:11

13 Years

On our 13th anniversary, this verse found me. . .13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.--1 Corinthians 13:13
Notice the 13th chapter and 13th verse.  

13 years of doing life with my best friend.  What a blessed life we live.  Two are better than one and I am so thankful he is half of my pair.  

We celebrated at a local restaurant after a pretty rough day with an issue from one of the kids.  Our big kids came by to love on us and drop off some Trader Joe's favorites.  It's nice to have such thoughtful big kids.  

Date #4 of 15 in 2015

We came home to a basket full of perfect goodies for a much warmer picnic, spring day.  Lene Bean came up with an idea and grandma absolutely delivered. It's nice to have a mom who steps in and helps the kid's plans come to fruition, especially when it involves spoiling us a little.

13 years.  It feels like only yesterday we were walking down the aisle.  So many more ups than downs and leaning into our love and becoming a true team to play at the game of life.  Blessed upon blessed upon blessed. . .

12 Years Today

Once upon twelve years ago, I married the love of my life.

There's a small part of me that wishes there was none of the heartbreak that came before our two lives intertwined,  but without the pain from our pasts, we may not have been able to create the love story that exists today.  I'm blessed to have you, a man that loves all of me and treats me like a princess.  I'm blessed to be living a dream that wasn't born until you and I combined visions for what our life would be.  Raising kids side by side, hands on at home and in their rearing, I know how fortunate I am to do this life together.

Remember how we got engaged after only three months.  That was crazy to everyone else, I'm sure.  But we both just knew. . .and God was seriously a part from the start.  Once I walked away from a miserable five year relationship, I knew what I wanted and what I would no longer compromise.  After having been married and with a child to consider, so did you.  Together, we just worked.  Whole-heartedly.  Side by side.  For better or worse.  In good times and bad. In sickness and in health. . .and here we are celebrating another year.

Marriage is such a gift.  Our kids don't even realize the blessing they are given day in and day out with parents who genuinely like each other and enjoy spending time together.  They have two parents who value sitting down at the table for meals, who tuck them in and pray with them at night, who create family rituals we can all enjoy, who pray for their spouses already, and who demonstrate acts of loving service every single day. They have no idea that this marriage they are witnessing will help shape their own futures as spouses. But we do.

I know some will say marriage can be hard.  But I can honestly say that with you, it hasn't been. Our marriage has been a gift that has helped me get through the hard times life has thrown at me.  Two are always better than one.  Thank you for being a part of my pair.  With time, with prayer, with clear communication, and with patience and persistence our marriage has the ability to shape future generations.  Our love story is part of the legacy we will leave behind and by golly, with the grace of God, it is going to be grand!

We chose each other to love.
We chose to do life together.

E,  I am so happy that every day I make the choice to love you again and again and again.  Best choices of my life. Ever.

xoxox

22 Years Repost

Two years ago I wrote about my Nana passing. Today is the anniversary of her death and she's on my mind so I thought I'd share it again.

I actually don't remember where I was when I first heard the news.
I remember driving to pick up my little brother from preschool.
I remember talk of angels and clouds and heaven.
I remember my grandparents coming over and taking us to dinner.
I remember sitting in the back seat of their yellow Volvo feeling numb.
I remember sitting on my parent's bed with my two brothers watching Beverly Hills 90210 that evening.
I remember now that I had no idea of how my whole life was forever changed.


My Nana had died.

My life would never be the same again.
My dad was different.
My aunt was different.
My Papa was different.
My uncle was different.
Nothing was the same.

Grief does strange things to people.
Guilt does stranger things to people.
Grief and guilt combined?
This can break one.

Twenty years ago today my Nana died.
No more songs sung to me...
"Who's that girl in the pink jacket?"
No more, "I love my Janene Marie."
No more damp washcloths and blessings on car drives.
No more little square gum pieces from the bank.

Pan dulce and grandma's coffee will never taste the same.

But because she died...
I learned early on that sometimes the people we love most can hurt us the most.
I learned that we can honor the dead by honoring their wishes.
I learned that life is short.
I learned that death is not an end.

Twenty years later...
I have a daughter named after her,
a chair reupholstered from her living room,
two bird statues from her collection...
but more importantly I have memories.
Memories and lessons learned from the life she lived and the kids she raised.
Twenty years ago today my Nana died.
My life has never been the same since.

Eleven Eleven

This cool guy had to have a little surgery last Friday.  It was out-patient and involved lasers and shots.  He scheduled it for his day off--and since it happened to be the day before our eleventh anniversary, we thought why not make a night out of it?  After bribing the grandparents to spend the last couple days of their Spring break with our baby birds, we were off!

First stop:  West Hills, back to the burn center.
I sure don't miss this place.  I actually thought we were pretty much over this chapter of our lives, so I wasn't prepared for the insurance approval paperwork that arrived in my mailbox.  I didn't like re-opening that dark day. . .until I was reminded that I was surrounded by the light.  With that period of time, I was filled with such gratitude and this faith like I never really knew until I just knew.  You know?

After the procedure, we ventured Westbound to Oxnard.  I know, Oxnard?  I didn't really get it either until we were searching for shells and flat rocks to add to our basket collection and Ernie told me I could just right Ox. . .and I smiled because how perfect are hugs and kisses when we are celebrating an anniversary? Perfection.

The other perfect sight was the view from our suite.  The beach was right there!  All I could say to Ernie was beachfront twice in the same year?  I mean, twice in two months!!!   It doesn't get much better than that--but then it does?  This life together--is pretty fantastic!  Eleven married years.  It has absolutely flown by!  I'm so grateful that we were able to reconnect and I was reminded of the me that doesn't get irritated too easily over shoes strewn across the floor--or things not getting done on my time table.  Kids are game changers, and I realized that I absolutely have to make an effort to get past those frustrations with my kiddos and love him for the wonderful husband and provider he is.  I have been blessed!

Did I mention how one night turned into two?  Awe. . .so thankful for the time to love on each other longer. . .April 6th. eleven years ago was a Saturday and we were probably still at church around 11:11--Catholic masses are typically an hour or so. ..I just love that screen shot of my phone!  And the diamond ear rings he got me!  And the suite we stayed in!  And the food we ate!  And everything about our 11th anniversary.

Another Anniversary Extraordinaire

Our weekend at a glance.

Eleven years married to my best friend.

Life and this kind of love are so beautiful that it blurs my sense of self in a totally good way.

I'm not sure where he ends and I begin.

Two hearts that beat as one:

ordained by God.

Happy Anniversary, E!

April 20, 2012

Last week, we were treated to four days away to celebrate our ten year anniversary.  It was much appreciated and so anticipated! A couple days before we left, there was a message in my inbox from the hotel reminding us of our stay.  We both had a good laugh because, seriously this couple DID NOT need a reminder about our get away!!!

We headed out to Palm Springs where we hoped we would be met with cooperative weather.  Let me tell you, it DID NOT disappoint!  The hotel was beautiful and I can not tell you how much I squirmed in my seat the whole drive there.  I was THAT excited!

Now, can you see why?  The place was phenomenal--the amenities fantastic and perfect for our little celebration trip!  It has been nine years since we have been alone for more than two nights together.  Back then finding willing grandparents to watch one baby was easy!  You can read all about my dad and mom's misadventures of  babysitting  HERE. . .I digress. . .
It was just us.  The two of us. For four whole, glorious days!  Poolside, dinners that weren't constantly interrupted by kids--except there was one night in which my husband caught a lady as she was going down.  She passed out. . .and he assisted the manager as they waited for paramedics.  Yeah, he's pretty awesome like that!! We also went on a long car ride that took us to Palm Desert, La Quinta, Coachella, and Cathedral City ( I think).  It was so nice to belt out songs from the ipod and laugh and talk and sight see together.  I think I enjoyed every minute. . .

The weather was amazing!  I think there was maybe one day where I wore a light sweater.  The sun was pretty hot and it had been so long since I laid in one spot relaxing and reading, that I forgot how important it is to flip!  I was paying for that a little the next day! But, I didn't complain because what is there to complain about when your kids are being well taken care of and you're with your honey in Palm Springs?

I felt like I didn't have a care in the world...no job, no kids, just the guy I was still so in love with all to myself.

I loved trying to snap pictures of the two of us as we headed out to our adventures.  He did a much better job than I did in terms of making sure we both could be seen--but the lighting was poor so the quality of the pictures isn't great, but will do for all intense memory preservation.

Then the last night there we got all savvy and used the automatic timer that I had no idea how to use on the fancy camera my husband gave me over a year ago now.  He is a jack of all trades, I tell you!!

I am happy to report that I didn't bother taking the camera on all our little excursions.  I think he was happy with that--I think I might embarrass him sometimes. . .I don't know why!  However, I did happen to grab it when I knew we were going to do a little drive by of a car dealership we had walked by the night before.  My man's DREAM sat parked in a showroom and I know he was itching to get up close and personal with it.  So, without further ado. . .

There she is. I do believe he said she looks a little different from the computer screen.  Her lines were a little smoother, her scent captivating. . .and I can't recall any more of that conversation as I was enjoying just watching my man so close to his "dream."  What a fun little way to vacation--counting your dreams as they drove by--thirteen we saw in total.  Crazy, huh?  Good times. . .

Our last day there was the only time the computers came out. (My pretty case was designed by ALISSA--just in case you needed a little something that just screams happy!)  Initially we were looking up movie times and then we ended up just hanging out surfing the net for awhile.  It was so quiet and comfy to relax in our little, private piece of heaven that I had to document it as well!

Ten years.  Happy ten years to us.  It's good to know we still know how to have fun that doesn't involve the kid's school or schedule for a change!  I will cherish the memories.  We will do this again. Sooner next time.  Why wait?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.--1Corinthians 13:4

April 6, 2012

Ernie,

It is hard to believe that twelve years have passed since we met.  I was the counselor intern; you were campus safety.  My, oh my. . .the summer that changed both our lives immensely for the best!
I had always heard when "you know. . .you know."  I paid that little to no attention at all because I had also heard that same sentiment when referring to the end of a relationship. . .and I was hard headed about that, as you and I are both aware.

Having come out of a five year long tumultuous college relationship, that was the last thing on my mind as we sat down to a three hour meal at Claim Jumpers.  Telling you my story and hearing myself for the first time...full of truth because there was no judgement on your part-- was life changing and I knew that I was through.  I knew I deserved more and I knew I was definitely interested in you!  And so it began--a rather quick courtship (three months) to my dad's chagrin. . .but when you know, you know.  Right?  We both knew and went for it and have never looked back--only forward.

The engagement was a little longer than either of us planned, but happily that gave everyone time to digest the realness of our love and people approved. And if they didn't, we no longer cared.  And we built our little house together--as Little pointed out on the way to your dad and mom's one weekend, remember?  The brown horse and the white.  I giggle now as I type that.  We laugh each time we pass that landmark together. . .still.  He was so young and such a part of you! Although divorced, or having a child were never on my list:  God knew you two were just what I needed! Together we would grow that once in a life time kind of love.

Married ten years ago today, April 6, 2002. Ten years have come and gone. . .career changes, cancer, babies, mental illness,  co-parenting, house renovations, living apart due to a short work stint up North, dreams realized, dreams crushed, faith seeking, church seeking, jokes and tears, laughter and chaos. . .but we are still here:  Stronger than ever!  I have said it before and I will say it again--our marriage would not be what it is today had you and I not traveled the roads we traveled before God brought us together.  You make me want to be my best self daily.  You sacrifice and work hard so that my dreams can be realized, and none of that goes without great appreciation.  I love you.

I love you more today than I did yesterday. How is that even possible?  But it is! I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Your wit, your laughter, your teasing and cuddles, how you treat our kids, your willingness to help others, your work ethic, your knowledge, how you choose to love me, even on my worst days. . .
God has blessed us and I will be forever grateful!
 My dad wrote me a song when I was a little girl. . .heck, he even sang it to me at our wedding. . .
this line echoes through my heart and soul,
"May dreams come true, for you. "
They already have thanks to you.
Every. Single. One. 
I love you.

Happy Anniversary!