A Lesson I learned the Hard Way

A lesson I've learned the hard way is that you may not have the time you think you do with the people you love. I watched it happen in other families, someone died suddenly, but I never really understood the gravity of that statement until it touched me directly in such a devastating way. To have this type of loss so close together has been life changing. Losing my mom and brother so quickly left absolutely no time for the type of good byes or acceptance I had, I guess, imagined. To lose a mom and brother twenty-four days apart in such tragic ways has changed how I look at life. It has caused regrets. My mom always talked of having none...but I wonder how that is, because gosh I sure have them!

I am learning to say yes more often.  

I am learning to make the effort, do the thing, love the people.

I am learning to ask the questions, have the conversations, make the peace.

I am learning that there really are no do overs.

I am learning that all that petty stuff never mattered.

I am learning that God's plans make no sense to me, but He is going to make them regardless.

I am learning to let people be who they are and love them regardless.

I am learning that self preservation is okay and protecting my peace is crucial.

I am learning to do better.

I am learning to be better.

Fiery Furnaces

Dear Love Bugs,

The reason this song is on repeat lately is simple. In my morning study I am reading the book of Peter.  From chapter one on Monday, I've been drawn in. " 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

At bible study today we read about King Nebuchadnezzar in the book of Daniel, chapter 3.  He made this huge statue of gold and demanded when people heard the sound of music that they stop and bow down to the statue.  There were three men: Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego—who paid no attention to him. They neither served his gods nor worshipped the image of gold the king had set up. So the king was outraged and demanded the men be brought to them, which they were.  Even after being confronted by the king, they did not waver.  They refused to compromise their beliefs and bow down and worship the king's god. So the king threw them into a fiery furnace for death after mocking them, "Will your God save you from death?"

The crazy thing is, God did save them--soon enough the king saw before his very eyes that the three men were walking around the fiery furnace accompanied by what looked to be an angel or the son of God.  There was no evidence of the fire burning them.  The king was so amazed! 28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way.”

30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.

There will be times in our life when we are called to take a stand.  If we cave in and compromise on the small things, we will eventually cave in and compromise on the large ones.  It is better to be left out than to compromise our standards and be left out of the kingdom of God later on.  Let that sink in kiddos:  it is better to be left out than to compromise our standards and be left out of the kingdom of God later on.  

The devil is deceitful.  He knows our weaknesses and preys on them.  We are his target.  He will offer it all to you, but it is up to you to not bow down!  Fear not, God says choose the furnace.  You will learn things in the fiery furnace that you can not learn in any other place.  Remember that God works all things for good and our ways are not His ways.  Keep the faith: if He brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

The world is watching you.  Our life is on display.  William Dyer said, "Fiery trials make golden Christians."  Don't come out of the furnace with bitterness, unforgiveness, jealousy. . .let Him deliver you.  There is hope in Him and Him alone.

Die a Little

It is crazy how the days rush by and I'm left speechless. . .or with writer's block as to what needs to be said and what needs to be read. Documenting the lives of my littles is a dream come true.  Years ago I let go of perfection and became content with the record keeping that worked for me: this blog!  Even if it's only for my family's eyes, it is a real life way of record keeping, of documenting the ways my dreams became a reality and how they were a part of that journey.  They were the reason my ship shifted to a different course and that has made all the difference.

It's crazy to think of all the conversation and activity that goes into the day.  Between homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, and parenting, there's not a whole lot of down time.  This week has been no exception.  Sometimes at the end of the day I feel like I am crawling into bed desperate for rest.  There has been a phrase that just keeps creeping into my mothering moments.  Those times, when she asks me to stay and play with her hair, or he asks me to tickle his back, or she wants to fill me in on every single detail of her lunchtime, or he is telling me about the pole change out they completed and the trouble they ran into, or she wants me to play Barbies, or he wants to explain Pokemon to me for the billionth time and  I still don't get it. In these moments where I naturally want to rush through to get to the next item on my to do agenda, my conscious has been whispering, "Die a little. . .Die a little to yourself." 
At first I was kind of oblivious.  I didn't think about what it might mean. . .until it was like a neon sign screaming and flashing on my daughter's face as I looked up from the floor I was mopping only half-heartedly listening to her story.  Then it kind of just crushed me.  The magnitude of the holy spirit speaking to me and there I was again, missing it.  Missing the small moments that matter most; the ones that won't always be in my kitchen spilling out their guts or in their bed asking for more of me.  I was rushing through again and missing the lovely life that was begging me to stop and pay attention.

As I allowed the words of this ancient song from my Catholic School days to come back, I was met with the very realistic conclusion (again) that THIS STUFF MATTERS MOST.
Would you die a little?  
Would you die a little to yourself-to bring to me a gift you could not buy?
Would you die a little?
Would you die a little bit for me?
And in dying would you rise again to life?

I have searched high and low to find the rest of the lyrics but to no avail.  I wish I remember what the whole song said but I guess the chorus is what is most important: obviously.  The Holy Spirit was whispering it but now he's flashing it across faces to get my attention.  I need to stop.  Get down to their level.  Watch my tone.  Be present.  Embrace the gift that is their stories to tell.

Last week was rough.  My birthday was probably the only real brightspot and even that was questionable since the day was so busy!  I had to do a mammogram at the request of my Dr.  She didn't want me to wait until December so I went and I was uneasy.  Not anxious.  Not scared.  Just uneasy.  And waiting for the results made me feel the same.  I had some crazy thoughts.  And then there was the whispering, followed by the flashing sign.  And I began to think the message was one I needed to hear (again).  Die a little.  Every time there was that thing that needed to be done.  Die a little bit more.

So this week I've been practicing dying a little.
It is in dying that I will rise again to life: the fullness of life, the richness that is mine for the taking. . .
all I have to do is die a little bit for Him.

Me and Uncle Frank at Golden Days Parade 2014

Friends since Kihndergarten

Proud of my girl: she and another neighbor planned a surprise party for twins on our block.

Kisses from Papa

Sweet Treats by Sandra:  blessed by her talent and friendship.

Throwback to Uncle Ted and our first Thanksgiving without Nana.

My truth everyday

He's a keeper so I'll let the whole world know.

The results were fine. Praise the Lord!

So We Don't Forget. . .

Back in August (where, oh where did the time go?) Lene Bean had an opportunity to be in a film with the son of Sally Clarkson.  This woman changed it all for me.  I went to my first Mom Heart conference nearly three years ago and I have not been the same since.  I would have NEVER imagined wanting to stay home with my kids.  They were not part of the plan I dreamed for myself years and years ago!  I mean, having kids was part of the plan I hoped for, but my dreams were for me, about me, ALL me.  I was going to be a class act teacher and then effective counselor, working hard, being a name that was recognized locally and then who knew what opportunities would come my way--perhaps a job consulting or as a college instructor.  And that's the track I was on, until I felt a pull to work part time and an opportunity fell into my lap. . .and then I attended a conference and the rest is history!

It was at last years Mom Heart Conference where I first heard of Nathan Clarkson's film venture, Confessions of a Prodigal Son.  He felt called to work in Hollywood as an actor, but was somewhat disappointed with the culture that came with it.  He wrote a film and then went on a mission to get it funded through kickstart.org
We happily backed the project and with it came an opportunity for Lene Bean to have a line in the film.  We didn't know at the time, we would all be cast as extras in the film too.  Truth be told, Nessa was not the happiest of campers in the diner scene as we re shot our scene over and over and over again.  But that is SO real life, people!!!

Everything about it was an adventure.  What an experience to be a part of something with a good, solid group of people.  What a memory for all of us to tuck away in the recesses of our heart and recall from time to time.  And what an opportunity for Lene Bean to see this type of theater in action.  She has always wondered about television and film after so much work on the stage. . .and now she knows.

It's funny, sometimes with her starting sixth grade next year (homeschool?), and me not working, I sometimes think maybe we can pursue it a little. . .but the truth is, if it's God's plan for her, I really believe the doors will open and I don't want to be that pushy, cranky mom fighting the LA traffic for an opportunity that just doesn't fit with how we want to experience life.  But this experience was a grand one for all of us!  I have no idea about the finished project. . .but in time, it will come out and our local peeps can come over for a viewing party.  Wouldn't that be fun?!

Finally, one other event I wanted to always remember was the year our bible study group got our kids together to celebrate Jesus' birthday.  Lene Bean wrote and directed the play, texting the moms the day before to see if the kid's could come up with some sort of a costume.  These kids put on an amazing show, at the park for all of us to see and they really got it.  They KNOW the true meaning of Christmas and they get it.  Made this mama heart proud!

They had pizza and cake.  They made the cutest cupcake ornaments and played games.  It was a glorious day to celebrate the King's birth and I was so proud that they honored Him in that way!

The last picture there filled with pink is to always remember the time Anjalene left the hamster's food open in her closet and we experienced a pantry moth invasion. Super gross.  Super unwanted.  Super work involved in cleaning every nook and cranny of the room and closet, washing every article of clothing included.  Plus the bug bomb for good measure. . .because mama couldn't believe this madness!

And because this becomes a book for the shelves to remember 2013.  The last memory (besides me being yuck sick) is the strength our ten year old showed as she stood up at the front of the church yesterday to say good-bye to her Uncle Dennis.  She even gave him a little stuffed animal--and we who know her well, know how much she still loves her animals.  There was not a dry eye in the house.  And I was reminded of my word for the year: FEARLESS: (from my archives)
Am I ready to see what 2013 has in store for me personally?  Absolutely! Am I praying about what direction our life will head as we venture into the new year and await Ernie's release back into the work force?  Absolutely!  Am I worried at all about what is in store?  Nope.  Not this time.  My 2013 word for the year is: fear{less}.

Not as in no fear ever. . .but as in fear less and proceed through whatever it is knowing this is part of His plan for me.  I have spent many years fearing things: roller coasters, the flu, money crisis, job changes, Ernie's jobs, my children's health, my mom's cancer, displeasing others, disappointing others, and failure (to name a few). But since Ernie's accident, I have been gifted a peace beyond all understanding.  Philipians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."



It blows me away that while I journeyed down the fear{less} path. . .my big girl would be journeying beside me.  I learn from her.  She learns from me.  God's life lessons are so incredibly beautiful that way! 2013, you will be missed but not forgotten!

Rancho Days

Last week the fourth graders participated in their second Hands on History field trip, Rancho Days.  I had signed up at the beginning of the year and I feigned excitement as my Lene Bean was bursting at the seams that I got to be a part of it.  I had so much to do: grades were due, packing for Pismo, planning a retreat for my Faith Formation kids, book club the next day. . .my to do list was choking out the excitement that may have presented itself had I let it.

That morning I prayed for a changed heart.  I wanted to feel excited.  I wanted to do this when I signed up.  Why was I letting the drudgery life get in the way of joy?  Thankfully, God changed my heart in the form of spilling my coffee all over my little quiet time space and I remembered it was a choice: it was up to me to make the best of this day.  I could choose to soak in the joy and count it as a blessing or I could choose to remain in my current mindset and call it a burden.  Blessing won.

The day was filled with history and I got to see these kids come alive with hands on practice of the skills that made the ranch work.  They prepared their lunch from grounding the chili, to mashing the beans, to cutting the meat, slicing the oranges, making banuelos and making the tortillas.  They learned a dance and created beautiful flowers out of tissue paper.  They worked in the mud (what a mess, super blessed that wasn't where I was stationed) to make bricks, made necklaces, lassoed horses, and weaved on a loom.  They heard the history of the adobe they walked through--how the Chumash once lived there and how they worked the land and provided for their families.

It was seriously one of the best field trips I had ever been on.  It took a ton of parent helpers to make the history come alive, but wow! It definitely was a blessing to behold. . .an opportunity to look at learning through my child's eyes and see their fascination with the past.  It made me proud to be a part of a district that desires these learning opportunities for their students.  It made me wistful and a little sad that the district I work in has no such thing.  It was a very good day filled with learning and activity and downright fun!  I can not wait for the Gold Rush in May!!!!

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. -James 1:2-4

July 16, 2012

Last week was a long one.  Not because of the back to back birthdays or swimming, or sleepovers, or art activities.  It was a week of waiting. . .waiting to see what is going on with the house.  Things were moving along rather swimmingly, until the house appraised for $31,000 less than our sale price.  That's a bit of a problem for us because we can't justify spending that much more for something that is not worth it.  First we waited for the appraiser's rebuttal, and now we continue to wait on the bank.  If we don't hear anything by Wednesday we will have to file another extension...which just pushes our move in date back, I suppose.  Nothing like having it all planned out and then nothing goes according to plan, right?

I guess the good in all of this, because there can always be a silver lining--is that I pulled out my handy dandy Child Training Bible and looked up impatience.  Just that act alone made me very aware of the impatient thoughts and feelings I was having and reminded me all I can control or rely on is prayer.  So, I have been meditating on this soul food:

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"--Psalm 37:7

"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."--Ecclesiastes 7:8

"Ah, Lord God!  It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm!  Nothing is too hard for you!"--Jeremiah 32:17

And my personal favorite for this season:

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸ Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

 Philippians 4:6-8

I will be feasting on these verses in this time of waiting.  Like I tell my kids, 

"there's always a lesson. . ." Learning and leaning more today that I was yesterday, and more tomorrow than I am today.

 Of course, this favorite church song echoes across my mind as if on repeat. . ."wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord. . ." Can you relate?

April 16, 2012

Recently, I caught this little one who is growing up right before my very eyes looking through her memory box.

I stood in my bedroom doorway watching her through her mirrored closet doors.  She was  so curious, so loving and so enthralled as she handled the artifacts from her baby years.  I simply stood and watched her.  She read through the calendar that documented her first year.  She smiled, she laughed.  She carefully emptied the entire box of its contents.  

Then she called out to me,  "Mom, who's this?"  I approached her bed, no longer quiet observer, but knowing my sentimental side was about to become unleashed.  My first born.  My daughter.  My angel girl.  I looked down curiously.

Lo & Lene

I laughed.  "That is you and Lo."

She scrunched her face all up in bewilderment.  "Really?"

It was a question more than a statement. Her eyes are wide.  "We've known each other since we were babies. . .like this small babies?"  She seems incredulous.  And I guess I do too now.  Because yes, they have known each other that long--ten years if you count the pre-natal yoga we did--(I totally sucked and Lo's mom rocked it!) Ten years.  Ten years!  These girls are growing up!  I sit on the edge of the bed now.  I finger the yellow knit sweater that I once wore as a baby.  I sure wish I knew who knitted that for me. . .bet they had no idea it would be saved and my own daughter would wear it twenty-eight-years later. . .so I tell her again the story of how Auntie Val was due before me.  I tell her

again how we had walked in the village for ice cream cones on a sweltering July day.  I tell her how Auntie came to visit the day she was born and next thing I know, there's a call in the middle of the night and SHE is in labor!  We have the same doctor and he can not release me because he is busy with her!

Finally we get permission to leave and we drive immediately ten minutes away to the other hospital where she had just delivered.  These girls, born a day apart to two friends of twenty some years.  I smile recounting the memories.  I say a silent prayer that these girls always know they have each other when the going gets tough.  These friends--forever family.

Because time will continue on. The little hiccup we had with classmates this year. . .will happen again, unfortunately.  This child of mine,  who rejoices when it is pajama day at school--even though some kids are too cool for that, who doesn't plan outfits, or ask for clothing when we shop. . .she simply wears what I buy her--for now.  I know this will change.  So I enjoy her.  I reach past the irritation, or the asking her to do too much because she can. I let her do her best instead of pushing her towards awards and accolades that the school system has set up for their high achievers.  I let her read when the lights are out because it's that little thing she and I have--that thing we both love to do.  And I make more of an effort to include her in mini trips out to run errands and make them memorable--ask questions so she keeps trusting me and build that relationship that is going to become so critical in the middle years.

Because the middle school years are not far away any more. 

She knows there is no Easter bunny or tooth fairy.  She asks questions that require thought out answers.  She is growing up.

And again I pray that she always has a friend that is there for her, like my friend has been there for me. Lene has Lo.  Thank God, for that!~

I'm so glad Lene decided to venture into the box--it has been too long since we relished in those yesterdays.  

Janene (Lene's mom) & Val (Lo's mom)

April 13, 2012

I had this goal during Lent to make my own Child Training Bible.  A good friend and I got together one night and worked on our own for a couple hours.  I finished the rest at home.  It is by no means perfect. But I'm okay with that. I used what I had on hand and did my best. 

It is so neat because now I have verses on hand when my children act in ways that are not appropriate.  Maybe they are bickering.  Or maybe one is having jealousy issues or there have been times that my kids have been caught in a lie. . .and I would always say something along the lines, "Jesus. . ."but I don't know scripture.  I am getting better at reading it and am more familiar with verses, but I don't know it, know it.  You know?

Anyways, I have this pretty little book sitting on my kitchen counter now.  It was the same one that traveled in the RV with us to read aloud while we were away on Holy Thursday and Good Friday.  It is now being incorporated into our little lessons as we happen upon them.  It's a fine line trying to teach and do so lovingly, because the truth is sometimes when they:  are not listening, fighting, complaining, tattling, being disobedient, and acting selfishly (to name a few)--I am a bit beside myself and show it.  So this bible is as much for me as for them--we are all works in progress and I'm just excited that in addition to our devotionals, we have God's real word right there at our finger tips.  they can see me in it, and they have access to it during teaching times and just to thumb through to see what it is really about.

April 10, 2012

Our 40+ days of Lent might be over, but I think my card sending ways will continue.  It felt so nice to send cards to people we were specifically praying for during this Lenten season.  Several years ago, on my mom's birthday, she lost two of her cousins (brothers) in a tragic boating accident.  They were my Aunt Katie's only children. . .and although I did not know them, it was very sad.  

To be honest, when my Aunt was on my heart and in my mind--I didn't recall about the day her sons died--as time has passed, I simply. . .forgot.  However, I just so happened to send her a card around that significant date and she was so grateful.  That is God working through me to lift someone else up. 

For St. Patrick's day we sent a card to a teacher we used to work with.  She has been living with pancreatic cancer for two years.  It was a funny card--it had Obama on the front.  She and my husband had a very good, always joking relationship.  I am sure she had a good laugh.  Her funeral is tomorrow.  

So I want to be more attuned to His voice.  I want to buy cards that encourage and use His words to bless others as His words have blessed me. . .so Lent may be over, but my card sending days are not.

April 6, 2012

Ernie,

It is hard to believe that twelve years have passed since we met.  I was the counselor intern; you were campus safety.  My, oh my. . .the summer that changed both our lives immensely for the best!
I had always heard when "you know. . .you know."  I paid that little to no attention at all because I had also heard that same sentiment when referring to the end of a relationship. . .and I was hard headed about that, as you and I are both aware.

Having come out of a five year long tumultuous college relationship, that was the last thing on my mind as we sat down to a three hour meal at Claim Jumpers.  Telling you my story and hearing myself for the first time...full of truth because there was no judgement on your part-- was life changing and I knew that I was through.  I knew I deserved more and I knew I was definitely interested in you!  And so it began--a rather quick courtship (three months) to my dad's chagrin. . .but when you know, you know.  Right?  We both knew and went for it and have never looked back--only forward.

The engagement was a little longer than either of us planned, but happily that gave everyone time to digest the realness of our love and people approved. And if they didn't, we no longer cared.  And we built our little house together--as Little pointed out on the way to your dad and mom's one weekend, remember?  The brown horse and the white.  I giggle now as I type that.  We laugh each time we pass that landmark together. . .still.  He was so young and such a part of you! Although divorced, or having a child were never on my list:  God knew you two were just what I needed! Together we would grow that once in a life time kind of love.

Married ten years ago today, April 6, 2002. Ten years have come and gone. . .career changes, cancer, babies, mental illness,  co-parenting, house renovations, living apart due to a short work stint up North, dreams realized, dreams crushed, faith seeking, church seeking, jokes and tears, laughter and chaos. . .but we are still here:  Stronger than ever!  I have said it before and I will say it again--our marriage would not be what it is today had you and I not traveled the roads we traveled before God brought us together.  You make me want to be my best self daily.  You sacrifice and work hard so that my dreams can be realized, and none of that goes without great appreciation.  I love you.

I love you more today than I did yesterday. How is that even possible?  But it is! I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. Your wit, your laughter, your teasing and cuddles, how you treat our kids, your willingness to help others, your work ethic, your knowledge, how you choose to love me, even on my worst days. . .
God has blessed us and I will be forever grateful!
 My dad wrote me a song when I was a little girl. . .heck, he even sang it to me at our wedding. . .
this line echoes through my heart and soul,
"May dreams come true, for you. "
They already have thanks to you.
Every. Single. One. 
I love you.

Happy Anniversary!

March 19, 2012

We are halfway into our Lenten sacrifice of giving up the television.  It has been difficult on some days because the television drowns out the noise of life sometimes.  At the end of a day, weary, the t.v. beckons you to sit mindlessly and escape whatever the reality of your day was.  When the television is on, it's okay not to converse deeply with your spouse because it's this unspoken understanding that you are done. Feet up, chair reclined, comfortable from head to toe...done.

Without the noise, I have found my husband on the computer, or HP pad, searching, in my opinion mindlessly.  For what? A Porsche.  He has this dream of owning a Porsche.  Now keep in mind, it would not be to commute--he drives over an hour and a half one way to work each day. . .it would also not fit the number of children we have. . .nor do we have a parking place for it (remember our house is on the smaller side--think one and a half car garage) nor do I see the value in it if he just wants to park it.

So, last night I asked him why he wastes his time looking at something that isn't a possibility for now. His reply was simple, "Everyone needs a dream." 
He's right.
My cosmic postcard waiting for me this morning was the image above.
God's little whisper not to shatter his dream. . .
Chase rainbows, friends. 
Chase rainbows.

March 5, 2012

Have a great week!

November 21, 2011

I actually don't remember where I was when I first heard the news.
I remember driving to pick up my little brother from preschool.
I remember talk of angels and clouds and heaven.
I remember my grandparents coming over and taking us to dinner.
I remember sitting in the back seat of their yellow Volvo feeling numb.
I remember sitting on my parent's bed with my two brothers watching Beverly Hills 90210 that evening.
I remember now that I had no idea of how my whole life was forever changed.


My Nana had died.

My life would never be the same again.
My dad was different.
My aunt was different.
My Papa was different.
My uncle was different.
Nothing was the same.

Grief does strange things to people.
Guilt does stranger things to people.
Grief and guilt combined?
This can break one.

Twenty years ago today my Nana died.
No more songs sung to me...
"Who's that girl in the pink jacket?"
No more, "I love my Janene Marie."
No more damp washcloths and blessings on car drives.
No more little square gum pieces from the bank.

Pan dulce and grandma's coffee will never taste the same.

But because she died...
I learned early on that sometimes the people we love most can hurt us the most.
I learned that we can honor the dead by honoring their wishes.
I learned that life is short.
I learned that death is not an end.

Twenty years later...
I have a daughter named after her,
a chair reupholstered from her living room,
two bird statues from her collection...
but more importantly I have memories.
Memories and lessons learned from the life she lived and the kids she raised.
Twenty years ago today my Nana died.
My life has never been the same since.

20. Today I am thankful for the light Lene shined in her production.
21. Today I am thankful for lazy days and the husband's work day being cancelled. Happy Day!.