I must say, this past weekend was just what I needed to drop kick that slump I was in to the curb and get back my positive thinking. We headed out to the beach on Saturday and had a blast. I forgot my camera, but I was actively engaged in imprinting those moments on my heart. I needed the fresh ocean air, the bright sun, and the laughter and playfulness that God's beautiful creation offers. This house we live in has been stifling me. It was hard enough to entertain the idea of moving, and yet it is hard now to grasp that we could be staying. I've just been feasting on truths about God's plan and promises, and the fact that our current house in this neighborhood has been our own mini mission field. And I am fine with that. It's just this waiting has been killing me. . .
Sunday after church, I worked inside freshening up a few things, and bringing back those little touches that make our home what it is to us. And it felt good. It felt necessary. It felt freeing. We might still be waiting on an answer, but you would never know. Weekend happenings uplifted us. We got an added bonus: E got the day off of work today. We are off for some more fun adventure. Together. Because this is what summer is all about!
Still waiting. . .and feeling kind of blah about it. All of us are really. But then the wisdom of our nine-year-old snaps me back to reality. After apologizing for snapping at her over something insignificant, I tried to explain that I'm just irritated with the whole house thing. With wide eyes, she shrugged her shoulders saying, "We're fine if we stay. We're fine if we go. God's plan, not ours." And then she ran off.
A good friend, text me this reminder on Wednesday, with Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. I know this truth but what a sweet reminder it served as another long day passed by with no clear answer. Today I had to force myself out of the house for awhile with the kids, a Seeds CD was playing in the car and wouldn't you know track 9 just happened to be the above mentioned passage. Coincidence? No, God. Then as I sat in the left turn lane to enter the freeway. . .the one that runs right behind the new house--I saw this:
And I chuckled as I pointed it out to the kids, thinking--ain't that the truth? There are plenty of lessons in this whole wait and see process. Ultimately I have to keep in the front of my mind that God's plan for our family is what it is--and whether or not we get the house, we are still going to be fine. With God by our side, we will actually be even better than fine. And that's good enough for me.
Last week was a long one. Not because of the back to back birthdays or swimming, or sleepovers, or art activities. It was a week of waiting. . .waiting to see what is going on with the house. Things were moving along rather swimmingly, until the house appraised for $31,000 less than our sale price. That's a bit of a problem for us because we can't justify spending that much more for something that is not worth it. First we waited for the appraiser's rebuttal, and now we continue to wait on the bank. If we don't hear anything by Wednesday we will have to file another extension...which just pushes our move in date back, I suppose. Nothing like having it all planned out and then nothing goes according to plan, right?
I guess the good in all of this, because there can always be a silver lining--is that I pulled out my handy dandy Child Training Bible and looked up impatience. Just that act alone made me very aware of the impatient thoughts and feelings I was having and reminded me all I can control or rely on is prayer. So, I have been meditating on this soul food:
"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!"--Psalm 37:7
"Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit."--Ecclesiastes 7:8
"Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you!"--Jeremiah 32:17
And my personal favorite for this season:
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally,
brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is
right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if
anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:6-8
I will be feasting on these verses in this time of waiting. Like I tell my kids,
"there's always a lesson. . ." Learning and leaning more today that I was yesterday, and more tomorrow than I am today.
Of course, this favorite church song echoes across my mind as if on repeat. . ."wait upon the Lord, we will wait upon the Lord. . ." Can you relate?
