My Time is Now

Navigating the world of the daily chaos of life overwhelms me sometimes.  There are days I hit snooze on the alarm. Again. And again. And again.  Until I either drag myself out of bed to get the day going because I'm the adult. . .or?  Rule follower that I am, there really isn't another option.  Breakfast to make, outfits to approve, devotions to be read, prayers to be prayed, teeth to brush, hair to try to untangle and that is all before eight o'clock.  Second shift starts the minute the school bell rings and I spring into action with my pre-schooler.  She moves slower in the mornings.  She has to be coaxed.  She has to do it her way and sometimes with that comes running behind.

And the floors never stay clean longer than an hour.  The bathroom mirrors always seem to be streaked. Beds are never made to my standard but there has been an attempt.  Loads of laundry to fold.  Dishes to wash.  Meals to prep.

They come home from school in different shifts.  Homework to check.  Snacks to eat.  Shoes emptied of sand. . .on the floor.  Oops.Deep breaths sucked in as I try to remain patient.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't and I unleash unnecessary criticism or anger that I feel bad about the second it's out of my mouth. Supervising outside play, an outing to the park and then dinner time.

Making their plates takes the longest. Prayers are said aloud,  Kids laugh.  Adults ask questions and kids thoughtfully respond. . .and sometimes they don't. Milk might be spilled.  Nessa might ask to be excused quickly and then ask to eat again right before bedtime.  You just never know with her.  Kids clear table and a walk might be taken then bath time followed by books.  Sometimes I read aloud to the big kids. Sometimes I don't.  Teeth are brushed, prayers are said and then our individual nightly rituals begin.  I try to be present but sometimes I'm thinking of all that still needs to be done before I can put my feet up and call it a night.

The night wears on and alarm rings again.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

And after this week all I will have to claim and call my job is the above fore mentioned repetitive cycle of my life.  And that's enough for me now.  Finally, it's enough.  I could choose to make more money or more memories.  I'm blessed to have a choice.  To be able to stay home full time is not a luxury some people can afford.  Others might not want.  But for me, for once, I feel like this is the life I was born to live.

In between the repetitious cycle of our days, there are countless adventures, flowers picked, tears dried, booboos bandaged, jokes laughed at, Barbies played, plants watered, playdates after school, conversations had, field trips chaperoned, weekly classroom helper visits, library visits, art projects, baking days and everything else and anything else we can squeeze in. I am the first face they see at the end of their school day. . .

My life has been in the process of preparing for this change for the last six years.
This is it.
My time is now.
I can not believe this opportunity is finally mine.
I am a stay at home mom.
It's enough for me; the opinions of others are silenced by the swelling love and pride I have for this new profession in my heart.