Escaping

Sometimes one doesn't realize how much they have missed nature until they are back in it.  It sucks you in: in its brilliance and shades of yellow, brown, and gold.

It beckons you with the breeze through tree leaves, crisp and clean.  I breathe in peace and tranquility, exhale stress and chaos.  It really has a magical effect on me.

Walks to be taken, exploring the beauty before us.  Chilled noses and finger tips but we adventure on.  Soaking in His glory. . .

Rocks to skip, creeks to cross, dandelions to pick. . .the possibilities endless when you venture out into the unknown and play a while.

Camp fires to get lost in the glow.  Snuggles, smores, and stories around it.  Drawing you in for warmth and to experience the closeness you might miss on occasion.

 Card games and coloring go hand in hand with camping.

Ice skating and laughs with friends follows.  Being together is a sweet break from the realities of our world.

Driving home with noses buried in books, gearing up for the crash that sometimes comes after a weekend filled with delight and goodness.  Extremely thankful for the gift of this time, for our togetherness, for friends we are blessed to do life with, for peace and for the opportunity to make memories that will last for our kids. Family. Memories.  Doing life together.  Some of the best parts of my life.

Full Circle

I can't believe we are sitting on the heels of another week gone by!  It has been a good week.  A rich one.  I am on the cusp of an exciting opportunity at church that only God could have orchestrated.  We have come full circle in terms of our church going.  We are right back where we started with some incredible ministry opportunities open to us.  It has been the perfect reminder that God has His hand on every single detail.  Always.

To begin with, a new marriage ministry is beginning that we are going to check out and hopefully be able to be a part of on a regular, monthly basis. E is still involved in the weekly men's group and is so encouraged and inspired each time they gather, which in turn encourages and inspires me.  Also, I am transitioning into  a co- leadership role with the monthly Mom's Ministry.  I would have never imagined God's calling on our lives to be answered in such a rich way.  I have prayed for years for my husband to be the spiritual leader I thought he should be. What God showed me instead was to appreciate the husband and father he is, and to get rid of my rigid expectations.  He has revealed a gift better than I could have imagined.  So now we walk this church community together, hand in hand.  A blessing so worth the wait.

Life is good down here in the trenches.  Carpool duties, homeschooling, writing instructor, cheerleader. . .the duties are many and the requirements immense but I'm so blessed by the beauty of these totally precious, every day moments.  My dad wrote a poem that I just love. . .I want it painted on a sign in a prominent place in our house to continue to remember, to be inspired, to be thankful for all the gifts that are right here in front of me!

I have felt such happiness this week to be right where God put me, to be living the life that I had only dreamed about up to this point.  I'm counting my every day blessings and encouraging you to always count yours too.

My Time is Now

Navigating the world of the daily chaos of life overwhelms me sometimes.  There are days I hit snooze on the alarm. Again. And again. And again.  Until I either drag myself out of bed to get the day going because I'm the adult. . .or?  Rule follower that I am, there really isn't another option.  Breakfast to make, outfits to approve, devotions to be read, prayers to be prayed, teeth to brush, hair to try to untangle and that is all before eight o'clock.  Second shift starts the minute the school bell rings and I spring into action with my pre-schooler.  She moves slower in the mornings.  She has to be coaxed.  She has to do it her way and sometimes with that comes running behind.

And the floors never stay clean longer than an hour.  The bathroom mirrors always seem to be streaked. Beds are never made to my standard but there has been an attempt.  Loads of laundry to fold.  Dishes to wash.  Meals to prep.

They come home from school in different shifts.  Homework to check.  Snacks to eat.  Shoes emptied of sand. . .on the floor.  Oops.Deep breaths sucked in as I try to remain patient.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn't and I unleash unnecessary criticism or anger that I feel bad about the second it's out of my mouth. Supervising outside play, an outing to the park and then dinner time.

Making their plates takes the longest. Prayers are said aloud,  Kids laugh.  Adults ask questions and kids thoughtfully respond. . .and sometimes they don't. Milk might be spilled.  Nessa might ask to be excused quickly and then ask to eat again right before bedtime.  You just never know with her.  Kids clear table and a walk might be taken then bath time followed by books.  Sometimes I read aloud to the big kids. Sometimes I don't.  Teeth are brushed, prayers are said and then our individual nightly rituals begin.  I try to be present but sometimes I'm thinking of all that still needs to be done before I can put my feet up and call it a night.

The night wears on and alarm rings again.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

And after this week all I will have to claim and call my job is the above fore mentioned repetitive cycle of my life.  And that's enough for me now.  Finally, it's enough.  I could choose to make more money or more memories.  I'm blessed to have a choice.  To be able to stay home full time is not a luxury some people can afford.  Others might not want.  But for me, for once, I feel like this is the life I was born to live.

In between the repetitious cycle of our days, there are countless adventures, flowers picked, tears dried, booboos bandaged, jokes laughed at, Barbies played, plants watered, playdates after school, conversations had, field trips chaperoned, weekly classroom helper visits, library visits, art projects, baking days and everything else and anything else we can squeeze in. I am the first face they see at the end of their school day. . .

My life has been in the process of preparing for this change for the last six years.
This is it.
My time is now.
I can not believe this opportunity is finally mine.
I am a stay at home mom.
It's enough for me; the opinions of others are silenced by the swelling love and pride I have for this new profession in my heart.

November 17, 2012

Yesterday is not the kind of day I want to remember; however it is a day I need to.  I got the call no wife wants to receive, there had been an accident my husband was involved in at work. He was being transported by ambulance to the hospital.

As I rushed from my imoms meeting to pick up Janessa, hands shaking, moving swiftly, all I could do was pray.  As we ran to the car together, we prayed aloud that daddy would be okay.  Thankfully, the hospital was only minutes away and I just murmured, "yes" as Nessa kept repeating, "My daddy hurt?"  All the while praying.

Seeing him in that hospital bed ALIVE and hearing him speak was a rush of relief and I let tears fill my eyes with pure joy.  He told me what had happened and to be honest, it's a bunch of mumbo jumbo technical talk that I really didn't get, but the words I absolutely understood: 7200 volts.  7200 volts is the current that somehow he made contact with.  7200 volts.  He could have been dead.  By all accounts, he should have been dead. . .but he wasn't.  Here he was with me, and even though I couldn't see his hands yet to see the extent of the damage--I cared about nothing else and I started praising God. 

Just the day before I had posted this picture on instagram.

And the next day, I got the dreaded call.  Just like that, our lives could have changed in an instant.  I know my conscious brain knows this, but the reality of following the ambulance as he was transported to a burn center over fifty miles away. . .took my breath away. My stomach ached, my mouth was dry, my muscles ached from the strain of such constant concentration, yet praise filled words swam around my mind.

As I waited for them to call me back at the burn center, I replayed the morning.  I could hear the sound of rain against the rooftop.  "Is that rain," he had asked?  "Yes, " I replied snuggling deeper into the blankets. Of all days, I chose the warmth of the covers to going downstairs with him and making his coffee then riding my bike.  I didn't bless his forehead.  I didn't. . .I didn't. . .

But He did.  God was with Ernie.  God protected him and spared his life.  His injuries are relatively minor for the voltage he was working with.  I am so grateful. . .gulping breaths of gratitude.  Today there is only room for gratitude and love.  That is how filled up I am. It doesn't matter that Thanksgiving is a couple days away.  The day to give thanks is today--or any day that you're alive.

My view last night in the comfort of our own home.  Another gift of the day?  He was discharged.  After talk of keeping him to monitor his heart and such. . .they let him come home to this.  To us.  To a friend/brother/fellow lineman who brought us pizza for a late dinner.  I had no idea how much this profession truly is a brotherhood--word traveled fast and the calls and texts were rolling in.  As I drove home through hours of Friday night traffic, I listened to him speak to the people who understand his words, what happened, way more than I did.  I gave thanks for them too.  These men who do a dangerous job so I can have electricity flowing through this home of mine.

I haven't quite wrapped my head around what comes next.  There will be a burn center appointment on Monday.  I will dress and wrap his wounds later today and again Sunday. I haven't even had a good chance to cry and let the tears spill for what God saved for me and my family to love on for longer.

All I know at this time, this particular moment, is that God is so good!  This accident will forever shape how Ernie conducts business. I have often said God speaks to us in whispers and when we don't get it, we get a thump.  I'm thankful this thump wasn't worse. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change--James 1:17

Thankful to God for my husband's safety, but also for filling me up with such gratitude that there is no room for worry.  Ernie will go back to work again and the possibility will exist for accidents to happen.  But there is no room for me to worry.  God's got this--case in point: yesterday.
⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:34  “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

November 5, 2012

Our thankful tree is out and is being utilized daily.  I was filled with gratitude after our Sunday fun-filled with family time!  It's not too often that our oldest son is able to dedicate a whole day to just hanging out with his parents and little brother and sisters.  He's a busy guy--holding down two jobs, getting as much experience as he can to figure out what his career path will be.  When I called him a month ago about our family portraits he promised he would be there and he was--earlier than the 7:30 am I had requested!

It was fun finding places to take photographs at a local college campus.  It was even more fun to get Nessa to cooperate time and time again as she is much more mobile and curious now than she was two years ago.  We laughed and joked and a little bit of photo bombing may have taken place thanks to the middle guys.  I sure hope to see those pictures--the kids--all four of them were having a great time there!

We moved on to a nice, family breakfast and then on to church.  Having gained an hour and getting up so early it felt like we had accomplished so much all before noon!  We relaxed at the house for a bit to rest up.  Bubba had his flag football playoffs at three o'clock.  If they won, they would move up to the last game of the season and go for a first place win.  The first game, the boys were in it to win it and they did!  Grandparents made it out to their last game of the season, which was nice--considering this set is the only set my kids really have. . .we cheered, grandma definitely was the loudest and the game was won!  After a five minute reprieve they played the only team they had lost to the entire series and they were in the lead 6-0 until the last four minutes of that game.  Lights had to be turned on, and our boys had their first taste of "Sunday Night Lights."  They played hard, but in the end after an almost fifteen minute overtime the other team scored.  There were some tears as the boys played valiantly.  They played through tiredness and nerves and they gave it their best shot.  We will have a team party Friday night to celebrate their fantastic season and a visit to an APU game Saturday night to watch the big guys play.

Jonathan pulled six flags and overall played with so much more determination and energy than he has in past seasons.  I truly believe it's because of his coaches this year.  To begin with, they are brothers, and secondly, they have kids of their own and life experiences on their sides.  Jonathan's past coaches were just out of high school and I just felt like they lacked the skills for team building.  The Cougars this year created a mini-family unit on that field.  I am so happy that he was blessed with the coaches and team he was--I have a feeling the fire has been lit and he really thinks he is capable of being a successful player now.

It's amazing what we can accomplish when we have our support systems in place.  I guess that was Sunday's theme as we spoke with our oldest about his future.  I have never been more proud as he shared he just wants to be comfortable and able to take care of his family like we are able to do. We are in a position that I don't have to work.  That is a blessing in itself; however, we choose not to live above our means.  We choose not to rely on credit to do the things we want to do or buy the things we want.  We choose to give generously to organizations and our church because, "Every man shall give as he is able, according to the blessing of the LORD your God which he has given you."--Deuteronomy 16:17

This Thanksgiving season, let your heart overflow with gratitude.  Count your blessings out loud and often.  Invite your families to share in the utterance of these gifts, to acknowledge all that He has blessed you with.  Step back and see what ways you can give to others be it of your time, your service, or simply your smile.  Sunday filled me up when I hadn't even been feeling depleted. . .fill your hearts with true gratitude and the Lord will continue to reveal himself in all that you have, all that you are.
 

November 1, 2012

Halloween Recap 2012

 This year's Halloween happenings was reflective of the simpler approach to life I've tried to take this year.  Seeing that there are only two months left in this year, I may have to attempt this resolution again.  Practice makes perfect, right?

We didn't really do any lead up to the big day.  In fact, a tired daddy carved pumpkins the night before Halloween due to a long day in the field.  The older kids stayed up past their bed times to help daddy with their creations.  A tired Nessa had no say, but she was pleased with the itty bitty pumpkin that was her own.  Costumes were ones we had--Lene just added some accessories to be a darker version of Snow White, and the Ninjago hoodie dad ordered can get use year round, so not a bad investment I believe.

The kids had a little parade and then I left them to meet up at our parent participation class at the park.  Nessa played with her buddy Linky and did a couple crafts and sang a few songs.  Totally low key and non-stressful.  We then headed to lunch with a friend and her little girl.  Again, a quiet, nice treat, unhurried and relaxed.  We were even able to go home and rest a little bit before the kids got out of school.  Then we met up for our annual stroll downtown.

 The funniest moment was when Nessa and Bubba were interviewed and the conversation that ensued with Nessa. I recorded part of it, but I was laughing because she was just so funny!  The older girls were much more poised and polished for live television.

The night concluded at our house with friends that are more like family after so many years together. We handed out candy for a little bit and then headed to the craziness that is our small town.  Seriously, people get dropped off by the carload!  It was fun to walk a few blocks and run into people we know--say hi and bye.  The best part was we didn't have to disappoint the kids when it was time to head back.  Their bags were full enough, enough fun had been had, and they were all so cooperative and thankful for the hours we had shared together.  Everyone was in bed by nine and I wasn't exhausted from packing too much on my plate.

I didn't try to get everywhere-- in the past, I've sometimes tried to get to many places to please too many people. . .and I'm striving to remember the people that matter most are the ones we are raising up right here in these four walls.  They are my responsibility, my heart, my life.

Today I am thankful that my eyes have been opened to see my people pleasing ways need to shift to the only One I should be striving to please. . .