Brave

When I was a kid, bravery took many forms but it usually was associated with heroes I saw on the television: Mighty Mouse comes to mind. . .and Punky Brewster when she stood up to some school bullies.  Luckily, my school experiences were rich and without much drama or a need for bravery, unless you counted fearing recitation of a poem in front of the class.

Today, thirty some years later, bravery has taken a different face.  It's the face of the aged who is willingly and confidently staring death eye to eye.  It's the face of a ninety-one year old veteran, who still shares stories of life in Italy.  It is this man who has bravely lived life fully despite the loss of a wife and son many years before.  Bravery is waking up each day and still being here.  The gift of a day has become almost a curse with a body that is not willing to cooperate; however, he still opens his eyes to face the day.

To be brave is to confidently know where we are going when this life is over, palms uplifted, to offer ourselves as the sacrifice.  That is bravery.  And I see you, glasses on, prayer book in place, rosary in hands: praying.  All the time praying.  Your very life has become a living prayer.

You know what else is brave?  Trusting the people around you to care for you, to have your best interest at heart.  Brave is accepting their plan for you, even if it is different than your plan.

Brave is putting on your best face and letting your great grandchildren serve you.

Brave is ceasing the moment to instruct and pass on wisdom even though the words are fewer and far between:  "Behave," you told them when they kissed you good-bye the other night.

This is the real face of brave.

And we consider it an honor to love and care for you.

Terrific Ten

I feel like the double digits scared me as a parent.  Then we met and the pleasure has been all mine.  Really. This year has been one where I'm seeing the fruits of our labors so evident in how Lene acts, what she says, what she does.  She has put on a brave face and sometimes made statements about the growing pains of friendships that are wise beyond her years. . .and yet she still has the fortitude to be nice.  She is respectful. She is growing into who God made her to be and she's fighting against the world in the process.

She isn't ashamed of her love for all things stuffed.  She doesn't understand why some of the other girls think it's sad she doesn't wear a bikini.  She still holds my hand and gives me a kiss in public. Her sense of style is all her own--she pays no attention to what is considered a trend.  Comfy is her only requirement. She clears the table without being asked (mostly) and reaches for her devotional before the tv remote (mostly).  She has spread her wings some but she is still cautious and considerate and really just a good girl.

As Honor Choir performances come to an end, and the last days of elementary school creep in on us, I want to always remember how this girl used her voice, her God-given talent to entertain and inspire.  She even earned a solo in the second to the last show of the year with a verse from "Surfin' USA.".  She wasn't even really nervous about it--she just got up there and sang her heart out and it made my heart happy to hear her beautiful voice.

Friday was their last choir performance.  It happened to be at Disneyland--on a day it was to be open to the public for a full 24 hours.  To say I was not excited is an understatement.  I saw traffic and long lines and the need to make arrangements for the picking up and care of three other littles at home.  I kept trying to convince myself of the fun we would have once there, but truth be told, I was hard to be convinced.

Within the first twenty minutes of our arrival, Lene teared up as the group headed to Indiana Jones.  She couldn't remember what to expect.  She was nervous.  And then Thunder Mountain roller coaster was named, and she lost it.  Tears flowing at the happiest place on earth.  I tried to reassure her she would be fine.  I wanted her to try something at least once. . .blah. . . blah. . . blah.  Still crying.  Then two wonderful teachers spoke calmly and softly and offered to stay behind because she wouldn't have to do anything she didn't want to do.  Um, okay.  Backfire.

We proceeded to Indiana and she did fine--dare I say, even may have enjoyed it. A group of fun, giggling, ten year olds was a pretty fun way to spend the morning.  I loved being a part of it and all was well because no mention of a roller coaster had come up again. . .

The show went off without a hitch.  They were given some really cute shirts to sport around the busy park.  We saw our cousin who was in charge of the sound stage and then. . .we went off to Thunder Mountain.  She was scared.  She was nervous.  She had big, anxious eyes.  She was talking to herself as we entered the car.  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength," she muttered over and over again while the bar latched.  Her friends in three other carts cheered her on and then the ride began.

The scariest parts were the unknowns.  She doesn't like the dips and she never knew when to expect one.  I don't think there was one but the turns and speed coupled with her wild fear gave way to tears.  They poured out of her eyes even as she yelled, "It's actually okay!"  And eventually her death grip loosened and her arms raised and she screamed out in fun, no longer fear. It was fast and slow all at the same time--this sense of bravery and facing fear.

And I'm happy to report she came out on the other side.  Then we headed to a gift shop to buy her another stuffed animal to cuddle and love.  Because I'm going to encourage and try to keep the little in my girl for as long as I can. But I'm also going to be right there to walk the rocky terrain beside her.  Two are better than one.  Together we can.

This day with my ten year old is one I will treasure forever.  The best part was her decision to eventually leave the group to go off and explore and enjoy on our own.  It truly was a joy.  All the people, the long lines, the late night, were all worth it to be truly present with my daughter.  Best day ever!

December 31, 2012

Am I ready to see what 2013 has in store for me personally?  Absolutely! Am I praying about what direction our life will head as we venture into the new year and await Ernie's release back into the work force?  Absolutely!  Am I worried at all about what is in store?  Nope.  Not this time.  My 2013 word for the year is: fear{less}.

Not as in no fear ever. . .but as in fear less and proceed through whatever it is knowing this is part of His plan for me.  I have spent many years fearing things: roller coasters, the flu, money crisis, job changes, Ernie's jobs, my children's health, my mom's cancer, displeasing others, disappointing others, and failure (to name a few). But since Ernie's accident, I have been gifted a peace beyond all understanding.  Philipians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I am a planner by nature.  A goal setter. A play it safe kind of gal.  I am a rule follower.  I don't like to call attention to myself, to what I stand for, to who I really am for fear of??? I can't even answer that any more so I know the word that has been whispered into my soul is fear{less}. I have this sense that I am being called to do something.  Anything.  But I have to leave my fear at the front door.  I can not grasp the enormousness of what He can do in my life if I'm not willing to set the fear aside and go.  Who said that once you choose a word you will never go back to it?  Who also said that just because you chose a given word you would conquer or follow it for only a year?

Here I am in this place with His beautiful words written on my heart:
Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. 

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Isaiah 41:13  For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  

So on the day before a new year begins. . .one with promises of hope and joy.  One filled with love and new memories.  One abundantly blessed by the days we have to love on each other a little longer, I thank the Lord who for now has gifted me with these treasures: my family, my heart.

 Their chaotic, craziness completes me.

All the time.

Forever and Ever.

Happy New Year!

October 30, 2012

A while back we got involved in the Tech committee at our children's school.  We wanted our kids to have the likes as far as technology goes as some other schools in the district.  We decided we could sit back and complain about it, or we could get involved.  We chose the latter.  It has been a whirlwind, but this weekend the school hosted our first, "Food Truck for Tech Bucks" event.  It consisted of about eight food trucks, a play yard, bake sale, vendors selling their crafts, small businesses promoting their services, and was rounded out with a fun dose of talent!  For close to three weeks now, kids have been meeting at least twice weekly to prepare to hit the stage for their performances.

This was the first year I was in full support of Lene trying out.  It seems now, I am able to sit back and watch her creativity soar.  When a friend called her up to ask about trying out together--she agreed. It was fun to watch their work come to fruition.

She and a friend both allowed their little brother and little sister to get in on the fun.  What started out as a dance routine, soon morphed into a full on karaoke singing and dancing performance!  They had fun and it showed!  So blessed by family and friends who came out to support them and their school! Also my daughter's  friend's mom was nice enough to do their hair--Lord knows, I can take some lessons in that department!!

 It was a long day from setting up to cleaning up--Ernie didn't come home until after eleven.  Neither of us complained:  we realize this is what we do because we love our kids, we want to support their teachers, and we can!!!!  I hope this event becomes an annual one. . .even if Nessa was worn out and a crying mess towards the later afternoon.  She had fun too--all of us did, together: )
Here it is, the moment you have all been waiting for:  I proudly present: the kids singing and dancing to "Party in the U.S.A."

 From the angle I watched, I didn't get any pictures of him twirling the Hollywood sign: (

 Almost showtime and not a bit nervous.  She and the stage are good friends like that.

Memories in the making. . .and the food was pretty fantastic too!!! Here's a clip from their performance.  I'm no expert on how to do this--it's not downloading the whole song. . Enjoy what you can!