That's All She Wrote

Papa celebrated 91 years young!

2014 is a thing of the past.  Onward and upward as we have already welcomed 2015 in to our humble midst. With the holidays behind us, and another year in the books, I have been thinking about the lessons learned this year as I tried to FOCUS on what was most important--the life right in front of my face.

What a great life it is!  And what an even greater gift I've been given in recognizing it and clinging on to it and opening it up to someone who didn't have the luxuries afforded us.  This home, which was once referred to as "the little old lady who lived in a shoe. . ." as a means to persuade me that we have in fact outgrown the place. . .opened itself to our 13-year-old "brother."  He doesn't complain about the size of this space. Because it has become his home.  And home truly is where your heart is.  Pay no mind to how big or how small, if you shift your perspective you are able to clearly see:  Small homes grow tight families. And what we have is clearly enough.

Take for example, another luxury afforded me:  staying home with my children.  To some, there is little benefit of being home all day when kids may be in school.  There is money to be earned, trips to take, and futures to plan for.  But the thing is:  I want to be home.  I desire to make my husband, kids and home a priority: an inspiring, inviting, cozy place.   And together, E and I have decided that this life we are leading is enough. Today is a gift we are not taking for granted.  We may sacrifice additional income, but the benefits of me being home far outnumber the down side. . .FOR US.  But every family is different. I know this.  And I respect this.

2014 was my year to walk on water--to not take my eyes upon the Lord and know what?  God has not disappointed.  He has provided countless opportunities for me to do what I love and use the gifts He has blessed me with.  I think to myself, WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO PRACTICE WHAT I PREACHED?  His plans for me are always so much greater than my own.  Faith is complete confidence or trust in God...I knew what it meant but still wanted to play it safe and live by my own standard of secure. What an awakening it has been to KNOW Him in this way.  It truly is an amazing gift!  One I do not take for granted, nor is it one I will be silenced about.  People can refer to me as "too into the bible."  In fact, I will take that as a compliment.  I am far from perfect, but I know I serve a perfect God who doesn't make mistakes and who wants us to follow Him and his ways.

I have entered into this new year with full JOY.  

"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."--John 15:11

I want to hold on to the joy.  I want to embrace what each glorious moment has to offer, even in the chaotic confusion of hectic daily life, homeschool lessons gone awry, and days I'm just plain, old worn out from the raising of four littles under foot.  I want to count it all as JOY.  I want to choose joy, even in the hard times, even during decisions that have to be made but especially in all the moments that are spent together as a family or in community. JOY is contagious.  I'd like to spread it around too.  I tell my kids often, who you are at home, is who you really are.  And I want to be filled with joy so it spills over into their lives, and douses all our interactions.  This joyful countenance to be able to live the life I never even allowed myself to dream of needs to be outwardly displayed daily; moment by moment. . .in smiles, and gestures, actions, and affirming words.  I want HIS JOY in me and I want it to be full.  And I have the power to make that happen if I live with eyes wide open and full of gratitude, but mostly if I CHOOSE joy.  This year I am choosing JOY.  Join me?

Ready. . .Set. . . FOCUS!!!!!

We are already seven days into 2014 and I feel like I haven't sat down long enough to really reflect on my plan or purpose for this new year.  A new year. . .a new year of memories to chronicle. 
A new year. . .a new word.  This year I'm feeling called to FOCUS.  Over the past several years I've been refining and simplifying and leaning into God's word and His plan for my life.  But this year, I didn't find this word.  It found me.

I've incorporated all kinds of practices that have enabled me to build my relationship with Christ which has benefitted my marriage and family greatly, but now I must focus on these relationships-- that they are God-centered and nourished by His word.  Some of what I try to do isn't always from the heart--I want it to be, I really do. . .but sometimes it's just checking something off my list of things to do and I really want that to change.


2 Focus your minds on the things above, not on things here on earth.--Colossians 3:2

"fixing our eyes on Jesus(FOCUS), the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."--Hebrews 12:2

I want to seek the joy in all that I experience day in and day out.  Life is such a gift. . .we know this and yet we still squander some of our days away.  Why??? For me, I know that I am easily distracted.  In my pursuit of holiness, knowledge, or raising kingdom kids. . .I am always seeking information; better ways of doing what we do; shortcuts, tips, ideas.  You name it, I can google it.   My phone is far too readily available to check out what's going on else where, to research information that may or may not be useful in that moment, or the many moments that follow.  But still I seek. I waste real present moments in an attempt to make things better, but the truth is I am missing out on God's best right in front of me.

Notice the blurriness of this picture?  It wasn't on purpose.  Even in reaching for my phone to capture a moment of Nessa Bessa exhibiting balance on the step--I missed the details by looking at it from behind the lens.  I didn't see the way she bit her lip until her teacher pointed it out to me.  I missed the way the curls fell around her face; how her toes dug into the soft mat, the way she raised her eyes to meet mine to make sure I was watching.  I saw some of that the second time around, but I am sure it wasn't the same as the first.  I just know it.  I don't want to miss out on the present because I'm too busy thinking ahead to the future or hanging on to the past behind the camera.. .I want to be in the moment, of the moment, at the moment. I want to truly experience every single thing the moment has to offer. 

I need to focus on who I am with, when I am with them. Be it my kids, my husband, my friends. . .I need to focus and be intentional with the sincerity of my time.  I need to keep my focus on Him so He can use me for all of them.  It's a simple concept really.  Focus on Him and the rest will fall into place.  This year I don't want to be bombarded by the blurry.  I want to keep my eyes focused on Him to appreciate all that every single day has to offer.   I just know that this will be a year of growth, restoration and peace if I focus on Him. Happy 2014, can't wait to see what He has in store for us!

A New Year

I've hemmed and hawed about blogging this year.  As I watch some of my blog sugar friends grow and branch out into other venues sometimes I've questioned what is my purpose in this space?  For two years I've evolved from a photo a day to finding my voice and writing down my words that are a part of my story.  This story that I've been passionate about sharing with our children since they were only a prayer in our hearts.  What used to be a fun hobby, scrapbooking, became burdensome, cumbersome, and not fun at all; howver, blogging is different.  And as I sent my 2012 book off to be published on Wednesday, I knew I wasn't done here.

This is my place to record my thoughts, prayers on my heart, memories of our ordinary days filled with absolute extraordinariness! In my attempt to be fear{less}this year, how can I not share this part of the adventure with my loves?  This is our written record of our days together, our metamorphosis into the beautiful creatures God has intended us to be.  I can not not write about it.

Pondering the closing of this space, may have partially been because lately I've been wrapped up in a story that is not my own and with that came the quieting of my own voice. I'm beginning to realize that sometimes when we love deeply, someone else's experiences may taint the pages of our story as we struggle to get them through it, to face the huge mountain right in front of them and figure out a way to get over it. And in those moments, my voice becomes a hoarse whisper, choked off in my throat because I can't do anything.  Not a single thing, except something, anything.  Does that make any sense at all?  It does to me because Love Does. So we've been doing quite a bit of just being these last days of vacation--enjoying our time together.

We rang in the New Year quietly since I've been sick and can not seem to shake it.  Stress does that to me, and I am just thankful God gifted me my health during the weeks I needed it most.

Pizza, poppers, dancing, and games filled our hours that night.  My brother visited for a little while which was a nice surprise.  Don't mind my pajamas( at least they matched)--I could have gone to bed at nine with the baby, but some other cute munchkins convinced me to party like a rock star! How could I say no to this kind of fun?!

This year my resolutions seem almost too simple, like nothing to write home about.  But their effect on my home is why I choose to do the following:

1. Keep reading my bible daily.  Also see that the kids devotional Jesus Calling is read together before they are off to school.
2. Get back on the bike.  I have only been on the bike once since Ernie's accident.  It is way nicer to wake up and do life together than to ride alone, but I must get back in the habit.
3. I have to get outside daily.  Janessa needs this.  She longs to be with the big kids, so I have to make this a part of our daily routine. . .walk to the park, play in the front yard, get her a bike.  Anything will do.
4. Start a book club.  I feel a stirring in my heart.  I just need to pray about it and go for it.
5. Count my 1,000 gifts daily and read the book again. I have the DVD series too, so maybe this could be the book club?
6. Keep simplifying with the home and shopping. Less is more. 
7. Cooking rut be gone--I must get better about cooking again.  No excuses! Planning ahead is key.
8. Be consistent with the kids and their rooms.
9. Carve out some quality time with the big kids and Ernie.  dates need to start happening.  Be intentional! Be spontaneous!  Be better about going with the flow!!!
10. Read aloud to the kids!!  Even though they are avid readers--I want this time with them--choose classics or favorites and stick with it!!!  Maybe one book to both big kids?

December 31, 2012

Am I ready to see what 2013 has in store for me personally?  Absolutely! Am I praying about what direction our life will head as we venture into the new year and await Ernie's release back into the work force?  Absolutely!  Am I worried at all about what is in store?  Nope.  Not this time.  My 2013 word for the year is: fear{less}.

Not as in no fear ever. . .but as in fear less and proceed through whatever it is knowing this is part of His plan for me.  I have spent many years fearing things: roller coasters, the flu, money crisis, job changes, Ernie's jobs, my children's health, my mom's cancer, displeasing others, disappointing others, and failure (to name a few). But since Ernie's accident, I have been gifted a peace beyond all understanding.  Philipians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I am a planner by nature.  A goal setter. A play it safe kind of gal.  I am a rule follower.  I don't like to call attention to myself, to what I stand for, to who I really am for fear of??? I can't even answer that any more so I know the word that has been whispered into my soul is fear{less}. I have this sense that I am being called to do something.  Anything.  But I have to leave my fear at the front door.  I can not grasp the enormousness of what He can do in my life if I'm not willing to set the fear aside and go.  Who said that once you choose a word you will never go back to it?  Who also said that just because you chose a given word you would conquer or follow it for only a year?

Here I am in this place with His beautiful words written on my heart:
Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Deuteronomy 31:6  Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you. 

Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

Isaiah 41:13  For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.  

So on the day before a new year begins. . .one with promises of hope and joy.  One filled with love and new memories.  One abundantly blessed by the days we have to love on each other a little longer, I thank the Lord who for now has gifted me with these treasures: my family, my heart.

 Their chaotic, craziness completes me.

All the time.

Forever and Ever.

Happy New Year!