The Trip That Wasn't. . .

A cabin was their idea.  The 22-year-olds asked for a weekend away together.  Having never been up to Big Bear in the snow, we decided to go for it.  It would be a nice family vacation.  Something we all could experience together.  So we booked it the weekend the kids said they'd be available.

And then they were no longer available.  Disappointment followed, but excitement too.  Our oldest was headed out of state for an interview that he's been waiting a long time for.  So we prayed and he traveled one way, and we the other.  

The drive up the mountain was slow.  It was raining when we left, which meant as we drove into town, it had begun to snow!  None of us have ever been out when it was actually falling from the sky before, so it was quite the sight to behold!

Snow was everywhere!  It was so beautiful!  This was our front yard.

This was the view from the second floor, panoramic windows.

The game room was awesome in the loft.

Ernie supervised the kids while they sledded down our driveway bright and early Saturday morning, right before we were told out weekend was cut short due to an overbooking.We were angry, disappointed, and sad but there was nothing they could do for us at that point.  So we headed home, but not before we got some more sledding in.

Lesson:  Sometimes in life, things don't go as planned.  Make the best of it and keep going.

They ended giving us a full refund and a weekend getaway take two.  We will take it.  Another mini vacay for memories to be made!

In These Parts. . .

Last week, the big littles competed in a district track meet. They had been practicing at lunch for the the last couple of weeks.  I'm so proud of both of them for getting out there and trying something new, even if it did mean I needed to do some nudging.  Jonathan is fast on his feet. . .small but mighty and I know he was surprised by how well he did.  His relay team advances to the Regionals held May 3rd. 

Easter came and went. We didn't make it to sunrise service, due to the fun night we had before.  One of the moms organized a flashlight egg hunt which means the kids had a blast searching for eggs in the dark, but we got home and into bed later than usual.  We had quite the spot outside on the grass at ten o clock mass though.  Father Peter Dennis did not disappoint.  I have loved him since my elementary school years! Blessed by his marrying us and just so happy when he is at mass!

The kids saw no candy in their baskets this year, but I don't think they minded.  Books were a fast fave as they went through their goodies.  After mass, we headed to Ernie's sister to visit his mom.  It was quiet.  His dad was there too, so we had a nice visit and I got to taste her greens before I left--delicious!!! Our kids are the only littles so they've learned to bring a book or to color while they answer questions about what's going on in their lives.  I think Grandma enjoyed seeing their happy faces for the while we were there.

We headed straight from there to my mom and dads.  As usual grandma had outdone herself. She simplified on the food this year which was awesome to see. . .but the egg hunt had money eggs color coordinated for each of the kids.  They were SO excited! We might have sent them on an even wilder goose chase by miscounting the eggs, but we will never tell!

It was a small gathering this year--and so nice sometimes when it's just the cousins playing and being kids.  For the most part everyone gets along and just appreciates the fact that they are together.  Not a bad day to spend celebrating our Jesus who died and rose from the dead!  Not a bad way, indeed!

It seems with Easter so late, that it was a busy time--much busier than I like with a birthday on Good Friday, but I like that we were all able to relax and get some fun in before it was off to school and work the very next day.  I miss that Spring Break no longer coordinates with the Easter holiday.  It really was quite the bummer to call the day over so soon so we could bathe and get into bed ready for a full week of school. Sigh. . .summer countdown is SO on!

Our Christmas Celebrations: That's a Wrap!

This Christmas season did not disappoint.  All was right with the world except for Nessa still being sick and needing her breathing treatments every four hours. Her Pa drove down a day early to bring us a breathing treatment machine--very thoughtful and appreciated!!  But the spirit of Christmas was alive and well in this place.  Christmas Eve day found us driving around the streets of Pomona looking for our homeless friends.  The Uncle Dennis/Santa Clause look alike was on the same corner he has been on for the last three years.  As always, they blessed us more than we blessed them.  This year we had a special envelope in honor of Uncle Dennis who was once a recipient of our Christmas givings because he needed a minor surgery and we had some leftover envelopes to give him. . .we decorated one, put more money than usual and dressed it up in his honor and gave it to a homeless couple that had hit hard times.  It felt like we were doing the right thing. . .this year, with Uncle Dennis on our minds.  

Christmas Eve mass was without Nessa who took a marathon four hour nap.  But she was in better spirits (the first time in real clothes in four days: thanks for the dress Aunt Cookie) and we headed out on Christmas Eve for the first time in a long time.  Usually we host--it seems for the longest our kids have been little and someone has been in bed early and it just made sense to be home doing what needed to be done but this year was different in a good way.  We were invited to Ernie's uncle's house: the ones whose life was turned upside down with the passing of their son, Devin.  It felt so nice to be included, so good to be around Ernie's family--to have my kid's experience what I know they used to be like when E was growing up--big and close!

We missed his sister DeeDee and the girls terribly, their presence would have made the party perfect! But it really did feel nice to be a part of the larger brood--and a fun realization that our kids are not the babies anymore--not as much work as it used to be to let them be and be a part of the festivities.  I couldn't get enough of the stories, the laughter, the conversations about faith and raising kids. . .Just being there was truly gift enough.  We were all sad to leave with Nesa crying, "But it's the best party ever!"  It was the feeling of being listened to and paid attention to and enjoyed that she was sad to leave.  We had to leave early hoping to get a glimpse of E's parents but unfortunately that didn't happen--long story, different day.

Christmas morning came too soon with Jonathan determined to catch Santa in the act.  He had all his spy gear out and booby trapped the place.  At three in the morning he realized he had missed Santa, but he did proceed to organize the gifts for the mornings opening. At 3 am. we had to tell him he needed to go to sleep!

Our morning was spent with Uncle Scotty, big brother, and Uncle Alan, watching the kids open their three gifts. I was too busy taking it all in to really snap pictures this year.  I was so PRESENT and it really was the greatest gift!  Our home-made gifts were the best--Ernie and I couldn't get over the quality of the ornaments that these kids put together now-a-days, a far cry from toothpicks and construction paper!! E smiled big as he received the watch he has been wanting for some time. It was a nice morning with breakfast that followed and then waiting outside with the neighbors for the fire department to drive by.

The food was great: ham in the crockpot and my potato dish.  Uncle brought by donuts and there was coffee from my new Keurig.  Buying the kids three gifts was the best idea ever!  I really get a sense that what they get is truly appreciated and special!  There is so much more time enjoying each other and doing things together because they are not swamped by the huge-ness of the morning.

Later in the day we head to grandma and grandpa's house to continue the festivities. The kid's time here was pretty huge!  They were gifted a sign for their tree house AND a swing set.  To say this is where they will want to be most of the time is an understatement!

Sometimes the closeness of our family feels perfect when it is just the siblings, just like the good old days.  Christmas at home is --always a good time!

and we always get good, thoughtful gifts. . .especially now that we are all homeowners:)

 I really have to remember to take pictures in front of the tree--one with our whole family. I also need to get one of the cousins together and of course grandma and grandpa.  I think I forgot because  I was nursing a sore throat trying to will it away.  Unfortunately, it did not work.  I have a full blown cold now.  My turn: (

These two: I never want to forget how December 23rd, Nessa Bessa was crying as she had to take another breathing treatment.  She sounded horrible and looked so sad.  I sent a picture to her ninouncle because she was crying for him.  Within minutes, he was at our house--(having left the happening party at his own house) to hold her. She is loved.  She got a brand new lambie to love now too.  She trusted grandpa to do surgery on the original...and we haven't seen him again yet. 

This might have been another hand-made gift that I just loved!

And the only baked goods we received this year by my love bugs were devoured in a day!  

For some reason, the kiddos and I didn't bake. 

 I think with Dennis' passing, it made me miss and remember my Uncle Ted more.  

Baking at the holidays is something we enjoyed together--messes and all. 

Maybe next year. . .or next week.  There's still time.

At the end of the day, Christmas was a gift in and of itself.  Being truly present made all the difference.  I have a strong suspicion that from this year on--due to the memory of  Uncle Dennis and new beginnings with extended family--that this season will always be intentionally filled with love and good deeds to honor those we've lost and loved.  To honor the love we have for those that remain. To bring hope to those who feel abandoned or forgotten.  To be a gift to others in our words, actions, and deeds. Hopeful to continue being His hands and feet in whatever capacity He calls me and praying it is revealed to me. . .

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?--Romans 8:24

At the end of the day--all that was left to do was rest.  So we did.

Christmas Happenings

There has been all kinds of Christmas prep around here.

The fun kind.  The kind that doesn't feel like work.

The kind you can kick your feet up at the end of the day and exhale peace.

The girls and I celebrated Christmas with the cousins ugly sweater style.

This was after I had already had the joy and privilege of escorting my handsome husband to an ugly sweater party of his own.

He kept walking around saying, "Bringing the power to the party." He'd flip the switch and make the lights come on.  It was funny since he does work for an electric company.  Thanks grandma for the fabulously decorated sweaters.  I thought they were ugly enough--but you had a vision and brought it to life!

We almost didn't make the Living Nativity this year--but the kids couldn't remember never not going.  So we went.  And stood in line for over an hour.  But Little and Kendra joined us so it really felt like "the gangs all here." And I might have gotten teary-eyed.

The next day I worked then raced home to go caroling at a local retirement center with our church.  Our home church. The one I may have strayed away from for lack of community--only to find--I am just as responsible for making that community come to life.  

So I go to the monthly mom's group and I refused to be intimidated by the fact that my kids seem to be the only ones not going to Catholic school--and participated in the caroling opportunity anyways.  We all have a heart for service we just choose to educate in a different setting.  

They don't mind.  So why should I?

The kids passed out cards they had made at home.  I liked watching them.  I liked watching the older people's faces.  I might have gotten teary-eyed here too.

Tis the season!

The choir Christmas Concert was held within walking distance of our home at a church and was beautiful!  The kids sounded so amazing.  I can't believe they were able to accomplish that with only an hour of practice a week since October.  Bravo!

Jonathan's third grade classes visited that same church the next day to make candy canes.

This is a tradition they have been doing for years and I just think it was the coolest to watch.  I couldn't stay the whole time because back at our house the girls were arriving for our last book club meeting of the year.  

We had a potluck and did a gift exchange that was really amazing.  The girls brought a gift that represented a lesson God was working on their hearts or a lesson He had taught them this year--it was fun to hear the significance behind the gifts.  It was even better to hear their hearts.  We even had three of the husband's pop in and one spoke from his heart about what good we were doing meeting the way we are.  There was not a dry eye in the house.  God was so present--it truly was the best gift.

This little one has made such progress in her performance skills.  For the second year in a row she wore a dress her big sister wore when she was her age.  I didn't save much but what I did?  I love to reminisce.  This year Nessa Bessa remained standing through the performance.  I was a proud mama.  Who wouldn't be?

 That night we got together with friends and had pizza and gingerbread house decorating.  I would share the finished result except this was the first year that it didn't remain standing!  I think the parents leaving it in the hands of the kids wasn't the best of ideas but they had fun and, "Presence over presents" is my motto this year.  Whatever works: )

 The very next day we ended up in Urgent Care.  This poor girl just goes from 0 to 60 in seconds.  With pneumonia and bronchitis in her not so far past, I just wanted to make sure we could get her to some semblance of normal by Christmas Eve.  She is still miserable. "I don't like being sick.  Sick is boring," she exclaims in the most pathetic little voice she can muster.  Poor baby.

Which is why today will look like this. E is working, today but soon he will join me for a few days off to relax and bask in the glow of family, friends, and the real reason for the season.

  All presents are wrapped and ready.  All that remains is some baking to do for fun.  

No pressure.  

No problem. 

There has been all kinds of Christmas prep around here.

The fun kind.  The kind that doesn't feel like work.

The kind you can kick your feet up at the end of the day and exhale peace.

Fireworks, Fun & Family...Finally

The days are getting away from me. I'm running to stand still it seems consumed by concerts, birthdays, camping, pool play, and beach days. Not problems I am complaining about, but documenting the important parts--the little details--seem to be getting pushed to the wayside. Since this journal is for you, my kids, I hope you remember the fun we had because I was not ruled by the computer.  I may forget or skip parts that are etched on our hearts so that we can continue to play our days away.  Everything I do, is for you.  Loves.

It may be an annual tradition, one in which the only thing that look different in the pictures are our ages, but I have to document this nonetheless.  I was so happy to be home and to host our annual Fourth of July festivities.  The truth is, this is what I love to do with our little family  despite who shows up. Luckily year after year family is with us to feast on food and fireworks and we usually have a blast.  this year was no exception.  In fact, we had a few newcomers to the parade route.  Janessa loved having her cousin and friend there to sit with and watch and wither away in the hot sun.Our dear friends who moved out of town for awhile, were there to sit on our corner just like old times too.  The atmosphere is always festive and just the best small town feeling imaginable.

The water slide we bought was a huge hit for the kids. . .while the adults were able to enjoy my cousin Jennifer and my great concert performance of the best of New Kids on the Block.  I mean, what was not to enjoy about that concert?  I can't even imagine. . .We went easy on the food this year opting for chili dogs and nachos--stuff we didn't have to be standing around cooking and preparing as people came and went on their own accord.  Simple really is better, I think.My dad teased me at one point of not sitting down, but I think I was taking it all in.  I was enjoying watching the kids on the water slide, listening to their make believe, guarding the little ones. . .it was so much better to be able to witness these moments than to be slaving away in the kitchen!!  Lesson learned. . .

After dinner and the concert, we proceeded to get our glow sticks out and walk to the park to watch the fireworks show.  It was a great one, as usual with different colors exploding in the dark night sky.  This time, country music played in the background as we watched and listened to the sights and sounds around us.

Savoring the days of summer and the joy it brings. . .

Mother's Day Weekend

Sometimes less really is more.  I love the weekends that the calendar box sits empty.  Empty equals opportunity.  It just does.  That is what this weekend felt like which really was a Mother's Day gift in deed!  I wanted to take mom to a local wine shop for a Mother's Day Event.  I had no idea we would be the only ones in there for the entire three hours.  It was so nice and relaxing!  At one point Alan joined us and then dad, followed by Steve and Karvel who happened to be walking to the place next door.  We couldn't have planned it any better. . .well, maybe if we had Ernie could have been there too, but he was a good sport telling me to take my time and enjoy it.  I definitely took him up on that one!

Sunday began with church and an impromptu breakfast my littlest brother picked up.  Again, totally last minute but absolutely perfect!  Mom and I caught up on season three Downton and rested while the guys hung shutters or something of the sort.  Dinner meant mom's house where Ernie barbecued for us.  It was probably one of our simpler meals there since mom is the queen of party planning, yet she wanted a break. . .but it was a beautiful reminder that yes, sometimes less is more.  Absolutely.

 Life is swirling with end of the year activity in these parts.  Lene's production is one week away, Open Houses, friends facing marriage issues, and friends facing cancer.  Hard stuff, but brutiful stuff nonetheless.  I'm growing and stretching and reaching as I look for ways to be His hands and feet.  To walk this road with the hurting and sick when my life is seemingly "good" is hard sometimes.  But then I remember the dark days that came before and I thank God for the light.  I thank Him for the life of my mom who is still here to celebrate Mother's Day with me eight years later. I still need her.  I'm not done learning.  A Mother's Day gift in deed.

And then there is all the other "stuff" we've been up to in the almost two weeks since I last logged on.  I abhor that word--I never would let my eighth graders use it in their writing and here I am using it--for lack of a better word.  Eek!  I've been horrible about pulling out my "big girl camera" lately--the iphone has become my constant companion to capture life and all the joy that comes from it.  I am pondering retirement, I think there are only seventeen working days left for my dad. Years ago, I would have been interviewing for his spot and walking into the counselor realm of education.  Now I wonder if I will ever cross that bridge because I've tasted life on the other side--long, tiring days with my kids. . .but filled with unexpected moments of pure, unadulterated joy.  Being a mom completes me.  But what of my dad's last working days?   What will that opportunity afford him?  Should I wait for that moment to do some of the things I'd love to do. . .because what if that moment never comes.  I'm about as semi-retired as it gets.  If I had to walk away to be able to mother my kids I would.  My planet has tilted on its axis as I've let go and let God.  He has literally opened doors and provided this opportunity where I was able to see what motherhood means for me.

Key words, "for me."  My mothering experience may not look like my neighbor's or friends or family members.  Their vision for their family may be very different than mine.  I am perfectly content "just being a mom," because I know that NO OTHER JOB EXISTS FOR ME.

Motherhood.  Mother's day. Being a mom.  My ultimate and best versions of myself are because God gifted me these children.  Every day is an adventure.  Every day is filled with a struggle or two or ten.  But every day is extraordinary!  God bless mamas everywhere!

Easter Wrap Up

 Our Easter celebration started off a little early this year with Janessa's first real life encounter with the Easter bunny.  It paid a visit to her preschool class and she seemed to take a liking to it, along with the three eggs she found during their hunt.

Her friend Linky may just be her main motivation for getting to school each week.  These two get along so well and she looks forward to seeing him on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  She even was able to stay with him while I was at the dentist this week and they had so much fun, she was sad to have to come home.  Fancy that!

Easter sunrise service dawned quite early since we had been out the night before at a dinner party at a friend's.  The kids had a blast (as did we) and they were worn out by the time they finally hit the pillows after eleven o'clock!  Their early morning faces weren't as chipper as usual with the lack of sleep, but mass was outside and perfect and we happened to run into Uncle, Grandma and Grandpa there as well.  It was nice to celebrate mass together.  After we met up with some more family and were off to IHOP for an early breakfast, followed by naps for all.

We didn't have Easter here this year since Papa hasn't been doing too great with getting around.  I guess it was nice to not have to do everything with the lack of sleep we had, but I did miss having it here.  Grandma outdid herself (*as always) and we met up with my brothers there later in the afternoon for dinner.

I can not believe It is April.  I love that the bigger kids really understand what Easter is all about. . .and I love spending time with my family.  Blessed abundantly . . .

A New Year

I've hemmed and hawed about blogging this year.  As I watch some of my blog sugar friends grow and branch out into other venues sometimes I've questioned what is my purpose in this space?  For two years I've evolved from a photo a day to finding my voice and writing down my words that are a part of my story.  This story that I've been passionate about sharing with our children since they were only a prayer in our hearts.  What used to be a fun hobby, scrapbooking, became burdensome, cumbersome, and not fun at all; howver, blogging is different.  And as I sent my 2012 book off to be published on Wednesday, I knew I wasn't done here.

This is my place to record my thoughts, prayers on my heart, memories of our ordinary days filled with absolute extraordinariness! In my attempt to be fear{less}this year, how can I not share this part of the adventure with my loves?  This is our written record of our days together, our metamorphosis into the beautiful creatures God has intended us to be.  I can not not write about it.

Pondering the closing of this space, may have partially been because lately I've been wrapped up in a story that is not my own and with that came the quieting of my own voice. I'm beginning to realize that sometimes when we love deeply, someone else's experiences may taint the pages of our story as we struggle to get them through it, to face the huge mountain right in front of them and figure out a way to get over it. And in those moments, my voice becomes a hoarse whisper, choked off in my throat because I can't do anything.  Not a single thing, except something, anything.  Does that make any sense at all?  It does to me because Love Does. So we've been doing quite a bit of just being these last days of vacation--enjoying our time together.

We rang in the New Year quietly since I've been sick and can not seem to shake it.  Stress does that to me, and I am just thankful God gifted me my health during the weeks I needed it most.

Pizza, poppers, dancing, and games filled our hours that night.  My brother visited for a little while which was a nice surprise.  Don't mind my pajamas( at least they matched)--I could have gone to bed at nine with the baby, but some other cute munchkins convinced me to party like a rock star! How could I say no to this kind of fun?!

This year my resolutions seem almost too simple, like nothing to write home about.  But their effect on my home is why I choose to do the following:

1. Keep reading my bible daily.  Also see that the kids devotional Jesus Calling is read together before they are off to school.
2. Get back on the bike.  I have only been on the bike once since Ernie's accident.  It is way nicer to wake up and do life together than to ride alone, but I must get back in the habit.
3. I have to get outside daily.  Janessa needs this.  She longs to be with the big kids, so I have to make this a part of our daily routine. . .walk to the park, play in the front yard, get her a bike.  Anything will do.
4. Start a book club.  I feel a stirring in my heart.  I just need to pray about it and go for it.
5. Count my 1,000 gifts daily and read the book again. I have the DVD series too, so maybe this could be the book club?
6. Keep simplifying with the home and shopping. Less is more. 
7. Cooking rut be gone--I must get better about cooking again.  No excuses! Planning ahead is key.
8. Be consistent with the kids and their rooms.
9. Carve out some quality time with the big kids and Ernie.  dates need to start happening.  Be intentional! Be spontaneous!  Be better about going with the flow!!!
10. Read aloud to the kids!!  Even though they are avid readers--I want this time with them--choose classics or favorites and stick with it!!!  Maybe one book to both big kids?

December 30, 2012

Christmas 2012

And to all a good night. . .

 I swear I was there. . .behind the lens almost the entire time: )