Woman of Faith. . .I Am

This weekend, I was blessed by the generosity of a stranger and attended the Women of Faith conference in Anaheim.  It's not everyday that tickets are just passed out and uncles and parents are able to watch kids all day and night, so one can attend.  But that happened this weekend and I was so blessed by it.

It was on such a large level, being held at the Honda Center, that I was unsure of what to expect.  The line up of speakers made me know I would not be disappointed.  Lysa Terkeurst, Ann Voskamp, Anita Renfroe, Rick Warren, and Mercy Me. . .to name a few that I knew of.  A car ride with a sweet sister who has dealt with multiple problems that could have crumpled her, but she holds on to faith started the weekend off.  A suite to put our feet up and enjoy the speakers with ample leg room and televisions to see and a great sound system were ours for the weekend.  It was such a blessing.

I always remember loving the act of going on retreats.  Our local Catholic church had an incredible Teen Group that I was a part of growing up.  It's funny one voice in my head hears, "Save it for down the mountain." And another says, "Hold on to that feeling, that high as long as you can."  Both voices  meaningful and so true.  I feel like I've been on the mountain this weekend.  I went away to worship and be filled up with inspiration and joy and was hit in the head a few time with statements that nourished my soul..

Lysa Terkeurst, sweet lover of all things Jesus and Chick-fil-a, reminded me to, "Always keep your eyes on the Master."  We know this.  We do.  But the mundane gets to us.  In our foolishness or tiredness or whatever. . .we take our eyes off the prize Himself.  And when we lose that focus, we lose our lives to all the things of this world.  I've been wanting to lead her Unglued study. But then, for some reason, I felt like I'm not the right one for the job.  I didn't want other sisters in Christ looking to me for answers I didn't have.  So I sat on it.  Until this weekend when His voice couldn't have been any clearer to, "Do this!  Do this now!"  So I sent out an email and we will meet Friday to iron out the details of our six week study.  I see, when I really keep my eyes on the Master--he does reveal himself.  And within minutes of that email being sent--a sweet friend, who orchestrated this whole Women of Faith experience texts:

And I'm humbled.  I'm grateful--she took the time and filled me with God's word.  Friends like that are a gift.  I so wish she could do the study too, but her mama hands are busy building His kingdom with her family of soon to be five littles, and homeschooling one of them.  Her walk grows me.  She is such a blessing to me.

Ann Voskamp, whose study we finished this Spring was. . .amazing!  Her voice and words are like poetry lifted to glorify His name.  I'm not a huge fan of all the elements of poetry.  I always hated teaching that chapter because it feels intimidating to the novice to be able to pick apart prose and rhythm and literary devices.  I choose to look at poetry like a gift from the holy spirit.  You write what he inspires you to write, and seriously Ann Voskamp sounds like she could be the Holy Spirit herself--every word is such a gift.  I loved this mantra:  "The hard gifts will be for good; the good gifts will be forever; the best gifts will be forthcoming. "

I think it's not by chance  these tickets were given to me.  God sees me.  He knows my heart.  He knows my struggles. And He also knows how to reach us. . .when we call out to Him, when we place it all at His feet, when we trust His timing and ways of doing things.  He knew I needed refreshment.  He also knew as much as I enjoy meeting with my girls, sometimes I don't feel like we're holy enough, focused enough, or a cross between the two.  I struggle because like all that I do, I want to do it right.  This weekend reminded me that the true effort is enough.  His mercies are new every morning--and I don't need to aspire to be like anyone other than myself.

Finally, the tears flowed when Mercy Me performed this song because all we are doing here can not compare to our final resting place.  That thought fills me with JOY and ANTICIPATION and utter EXCITEMENT that this lifetime is only a vehicle to get me there.  I have one long life of losses to live--but only gains when it comes to Him.  I  love being a Jesus girl!!!!!

And if you have a minute,  Check this out because you might need to hear this message loudest today: You're Beautiful
 

October 26, 2012

"The days are long; the years are short."--Gretchin Rubin

I'm not sure what it is about this week that makes this quote reverberate through my mind.  Could it be after three long weeks away, my husband is home, which makes it easier to enjoy the beautiful moments of our everyday chaotic, crazy extraordinary?

Maybe it's the fact that after his four year apprenticeship, Ernie is finally, officially done!  He is a journeyman now and with that comes a choice.  He can look for jobs that are closer to home and my head isn't subconsciously worrying that he may be moved at any second back up North or to Arizona.  This week we enjoyed four glorious days together.  Mornings, lunches, parent participation classes, and him spending some one on one time with the kids.  Oh lest I forget. . .the backyard is presentable again.

Could it be that Jonathan has lost four teeth in two weeks and Lene visited an orthodontist to talk about a two phase treatment?  Then I look at my youngest who will be three-years-old almost one month from today with her little, bitty baby teeth, cute gap in the front and all--stretched out so long in her footed pajamas across the bed and I think, wow!  Holding her cousin as she ran across the pumpkin patch yesterday, I noticed how perfectly he fit in my arms and how right he felt and realized how done I really am with having my own children from this body of mine.They are all getting so big and I'm here.  God has blessed me with this time here at home with them.

The PTA obligations, the Tech committee food truck event, student council speeches, the parent conferences I held this week for my part time job, talent show practice and Halloween costumes, the faith formation class I'm teaching, the imoms group I attend, the new friends God has blessed me with plus the old ones who have been a part of my growing journey. . .it's all so totally, completely worth it!!!  I am feeling so richly blessed.  God's had His hand in this all along and I am filled with gratitude that my eyes--this week especially, have been open to all the richness, all the beauty that flows freely through this little house of ours.

I breathe in His glories deeply, and I exhale complete and utter gratitude.  I've been a little busy in front of the camera, to take time behind it--and it feels so right, so good, so true, and so absolutely glorious!

February 7, 2012

Totally appropriate to have Sally sign a page the baby got to, that's motherhood for you:)

I have so much to say and no idea where to begin.
First off, it truly takes a village to raise a family!  Huge thanks to my mom, dad, brothers, neighbor, and sisters-in-law who offered to help with the kids this weekend so I could attend my second Mom Heart Conference.  With a husband just having four wisdom teeth pulled and a sick son, I felt guilty at first for being away, but the Lord worked out all the details and I was able to be filled with inspiration and hope.

I expected to be encouraged and inspired here.  I was not disappointed!!
What I wasn't expecting was the constant tugging at my heart that somehow I had come full circle and God has great things in store for me!

 Not that I ever doubt that. . .it's just that I was able to meet Angela from Good Morning Girls and strangely enough, that's where all of this started for me--this deeper desire to have my own relationship with the Lord--to parent in a way that is more intentional, more Christ-centered. It all started with three friends who answered my plea for women of faith to walk with me on a God inspired journey and to dig into His word through daily bible reading.

My parents laid a fabulous religious foundation by sending me to Catholic school; however, this Catholic didn't do much digging in my own bible unless I was away at a church retreat or something of that nature.  For years we had religion books we learned from...not in depth bible studies--and perhaps that is part of why I fell away from the Catholic church for awhile. I wanted something that the Catholic Church could not give me...or so I thought. With the start of my group though I've come to realize what I was looking for was right in front of me all along.  My bible. . .His words to my heart, and an intimate relationship with my creator. I found, I've always had the power. 

Not long after my GMG group started, I read Mission of Motherhood and attended my first Mom Heart conference with Sally. Then I began to devour more of her books and subscribed to her blog I Take Joy.  In the meantime, things at home were much more intentional. . .my time with the kids, what we read, what we listened to, what we watched.  I became much more aware of the media around us and the messages they are sending my kids--too much, too soon and we began to make changes.  Just weeks ago I talked to Human Resources and have asked to reduce my contract to one day a week, or for a leave of absence.  I'm not sure what will happen, but I know a change is coming and I am excited at what this means for my children.  Lastly, I just started a book club with the book that started this journey for me and I am hopeful at what it might do in the hearts of other moms!

With all of this, then it makes complete sense (to me, at least) that this weekend felt like a huge gift just waiting to be unwrapped.  I love the woman's hearts I heard.  I love Sally and Clay's vision.  I am spending more time on these thoughts here:

• The legacy we leave in the hearts of our children does not come about accidently.
• I need to advocate for my kids more and be less adversarial. (I struggle here sometimes.)
• You can't live by faith if listening to man. (I struggle with this one too.)
• If you want to influence your child's heart, you have to know it.
• There is great freedom for kids to be who they were meant to be. (Adults too!)
•  Grace leads to Jesus. . .My heart can not give out what it has not taken in.
• Don't believe what others say about your kids and who they think they are.  TRUST GOD!

I am especially bothered by: Whose voice am I listening to? Why? Fear of man brings a snare. . .live up to what God wants you to do. I'm sure there will be more to come. . .I'm still dissecting it all--piecing my notes together, pondering and praying, "God I will go.  God I will be your girl. . ."

Dec. 6, 2011

I'm going again!!

So far three friends are joining me and I am SO excited.

You should go too....I mean, if you want a refreshed mom heart and spirit--that is.